Amma in Berlin
I have now done 3 stops on the Europe tour (incl. London), because I can’t go to Amritapuri this year. The stop before Milan for me was Berlin. I must say, what a fabulous city! I never thought I would hear myself say this, but London is no longer the place with the best music in the world – Berlin has overtaken us. Everywhere we went we heard such excellent house music, really tech-y stuff, and also fantastic dub step etc. Impressive.
Anyway, most of the time I spent blissfully with Amma. The German people were lovely and everything had been done so nicely – almost to the point of perfection. There was no cheering and clapping after each bhajan etc. (like in Italy) but people were quiet and respectful and that was appreciated in the chaos that is an Amma tour 🙂
One evening, Amma was soon to finish darshan (due to the curfew in the hall) and as usual I was sitting on the stage watching her and going in and out of meditation. Suddenly she looked at us all and began talking in Malayalam. Br. Shubamrita translated: “Amma says she is sorry that the darshans have to go so fast. It was not like this years ago. Amma says that in the olden days nobody had a watch but everybody had time; these days everybody has a watch but nobody has time”. Many people started to cry upon hearing this. That Amma would apologise for not giving even more than she already does was moving. And what a lesson in such a simple way from a true master: it seems that everything Amma ever says has a tapestry of meanings woven into it.
On the Devi Bhava I somehow managed to get to the front of the queue with a timecard from the previous day. It was my Birthday, so I felt very privileged. Then I was seated RIGHT IN FRONT of Amma’s chair! I honestly couldn’t believe it. When she walked in, the power was so huge that I stepped backwards and nearly fell over my chair. It was like being “hemmed in” by Truth, as Adyashanti says. But I noted how strange it is that I say I want Truth, but when it comes I step backwards away from it.
I was also one of the first people to receive Amma’s darshan. I didn’t say it was my Birthday (which apparently you can do and you get a lovely Birthday darshan) because I was praying intensely in the darshan line. The helpers asked me my language and I said “English”. My prayer was, “Amma help me step towards you. I don’t want to step away from Truth anymore. There is so much fear within me but I really want the Truth. Please bring me closer to you”. When I was in front of Amma, Geeta (Amma’s darshan assistant) said to me, “You don’t speak any other languages?”. I was surprised because she knows me; I replied, “No” and she said, “Only Polish”. Before I had time to correct her, Amma had taken me! Amma hugged me and then looked at me and hugged me again. In my ear she chanted in German “Meine Liebe”. Then she motioned to the left of her chair and said “Come around”. I was so overcome I had to ask her, “Come around?” and she motioned again. I felt so blessed… What a Birthday darshan! I couldn’t walk properly when I stood up. When I could, I sat there with her absorbing the darshan for an hour or so.
But I didn’t know what the German words meant which she had said to me. So I asked my German friend. She said, it means “My Love”. I was floored… For 12 years, Amma has said to me, “My daughter”. For a moment, my blood ran cold. I knew that amongst other meanings, this had a deeper significance regarding my relationship with Sarah. I will explain all in the next review.
I want to acknowledge those who recently took the Core Veil Vortex Healing class. Whooppeee! I hope you had some deep experiences – do let me know what yours were. And I wanted to remind you that I will be here over the Christmas holidays, which is often an important time for healing,