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Posts from the ‘Transformation’ Category

London this week: Wed and Fri

Hello 🙂

How are you?

I am very happy here in Lewes. Yes, I have moved for the 4th time (temporarily) in 6 weeks. It’s such an adventure! Not that that was my intention, and of course there have been times of intense challenge. Yet now I feel the wonder and the grace of it all, and the felt sense of Divine Will in it is profound, really profound.

The slight issue I have at the moment is time – I am running out of it before I go to America. Already, most session times are booked this week. I may be able to squeeze in a couple more on Wednesday at Leila’s or on Friday making home visits. Other than that, distance healing is available, though again, this is limited due to current demand. However, I am only away for 3 weeks. As a reminder, that is from 30th May – 21st June.

I would like to share the following passage from Adyashanti’s book ‘Resurrecting Jesus: Embodying the Spirit of a Revolutionary Mystic’, which brought me to tears of inner implosion right there in the launderette.

“This is all about an internal journey, about your capacity to recognise divinity whenever and wherever you encounter it. It requires a certain sort of humility that allows you to peer beyond the world of appearances and touch upon that spark of the timeless radiance. Whether you understand it or can do anything with it doesn’t matter in the slightest; all that matters is your capacity to recognise that spark when you see it and to open yourself in humility to its redeeming Grace. This is the magic of Jesus’ life. This is the miracle that surpasses all the other miracles – the ability that Jesus has to mirror back divinity for those who are in his presence. This miracle is far superior to being able to walk on water or turn water into wine. It is the miracle of redemption, which awakens people to their own true nature.”  ~ Adyashanti

Love,

xDaisy

Sessions in London: Monday (tomorrow), Wednesday and Friday

Hello 🙂

How are you today?

This week I will be in London tomorrow (Monday), Wednesday and Friday. Other than that distance sessions are available via Skype.

I have booked my flight back from the American tour with Amma. I will be away for 3 weeks: 30th May – 21st June. Please make sure you get your sessions in beforehand, as it will not be possible to offer distance work while on tour.

The energy of my life is naturally going into sadhana (spiritual practices), work, sangha (community of friends) and my upcoming trip with Amma. Other areas of my life aren’t flowing very easily at this time, but what’s changed is that I don’t mind. I had thought that it was about resolving them, but what happened instead is that I let go. I don’t mean I let go (drum roll), it’s that I let go without trying to or even being aware that I had. And now these areas aren’t important. It’s not that I’m minimising them, it’s more like I don’t know – and I don’t mind – what ‘s going on in them. At some point, again without really knowing it, I came clean about that.

Have you ever felt burdened by what you know, or think you should know (that’s the worst)? Even suffering relies on knowing: I’m unlovable, for example. Really..? Or, she thinks that about me. Really..? The more I live I find myself increasingly unwilling to carry these kinds of burdens. I think of all the children and teenagers in school, being conditioned that they need to know everything about everything. In a sense, it’s a kind of cruelty to inflict that on a child. As children and teenagers, we know we don’t know – if that makes sense? But then we have to pretend, for adults’ sake and to save face, that we know things. The whole thing is quite quite mad. True wisdom, prajna (heart wisdom), is right there in the child as it is in the master, and yet it is completely missed and thrown away.

Anyway, I must go for now. Much Love to you on this glorious day 🙂

xDaisy

London this week: Wed, Thurs & Sat

Hello 🙂

How are you?

I am feeling free and challenged at the moment. To update you on my housing situation (thank you for your emails and words of concern), I am couch surfing at a friend’s place. It is beginning to feel like things are not flowing in this aspect of my life right now, despite weeks of work to find a room / a home / a sangha houseshare. Simultaneously, I am feeling called to do part of the US Tour with Amma, so that could possibly be why this is happening. The truth is, I need a refuel, I need healing myself. It’s time for me to be in the presence of a true master.

Therefore, I have recently booked my first flight on the 30th May, which will get me to the San Ramon ashram in California. I am unclear as to whether I will be doing all of the tour yet, but I will not be doing staff this year, so a couple of weeks seems more likely. I will update you on my return flight once I have booked it.

In the meantime, please get your sessions in before the 30th May as it will be very difficult for me to offer sessions (even distance ones) while on tour. This week, I will be offering sessions in Barbican on Wednesday, and making home visits in London on Thursday and Saturday.

I am looking forward to working with you and hoping you are well,

Much Love,

xDaisy

Bank Holiday Deal on Monday! Plus Wed, Fri and Sat in London

Hello 🙂

How are you?

I am well and happy 🙂 I am also facing some very strong challenges indeed in my housing situation here in Brighton. I want to share them, yet feel it is inappropriate to do so, certainly at this stage. But suffice to say that when the spiritual rubber really hits the road in human life, I am left feeling so glad and grateful that I have led the examined (rather than the unexamined) life, not least for all the tools this has given me to face such situations. In particular, Amma’s presence and Grace in my life is proving no less than a Godsend at the moment.

As a result of all this, I have only just fully woken up to the fact that it is Bank Holiday this Monday. The offer is on, of special half-price £45 sessions (via Skype) 🙂 So please call / text / email me if you would like to take advantage of this.

I will also be in the Barbican on Wednesday and doing home visits in London on part of Friday and part of Saturday. The rest of the time distance healing is available via Skype 🙂

Wishing you well,

Much Love,

xDaisy

Contemplation in the Sun

Hello 🙂

How are you?

First of all, I want to let you know that I will be in London on Wednesday this week in the Barbican. I need the rest of the week to sort out my housing situation in Brighton, which needs turning around within literally 7 days. Skype sessions are available though, of course.

I had one of those moments today, where I was between work (equine assisted therapy and a little job I do for a friend in London) and I stepped out into the sun in the garden where I was. I was immediately struck by the ordinary beauty of things. Simply the other buildings, the music from a party somewhere in the background, and the sky. Finally I could stop for a while, and I did. My mind began to chatter and then to fade, melting into my heart as often it does. It felt so good to feel, to be barefoot on the ground and to be able to loaf for an hour, with nothing to do! I felt so free… Silence pervaded completely. Eventually a thought came: What if I spent the rest of my life just being free? Something opened wider within, in this contemplation. I mean, what if any of us simply chose inner freedom, true peace, right now – and for every ‘now’ forever? I am well aware that this makes no sense in a way! But can you feel into what I’m saying? In other words, what if you, reading this right now, never ever left whatever realisation you have had about the true nature of what you are?

The next thought that came was, What would that take? I saw that it would require a willingness to relinquish all future plans. I also saw I would need to never leave what I know and to never believe or follow through on another thought / piece of negativity. It was humbling…to say the least.

Anyway, I wanted to share this exploration with you now, in hindsight, to see if you resonate with it or have perhaps had a similar kind of insight too? 🙂 Please do write with your comments on this.

Love,

xDaisy

London this week: today, Friday and Saturday

Hello,

How are you? A short note to say that for London sessions, today and Sat are now full this week. But there are a couple of spaces left on Friday. Distance sessions are always available of course, via Skype.

I also wanted to share this video with you. I never tire of Amma’s Swami Dayamrita. In particular it is his integrity, authenticity and humility which really touch me. They are rare qualities in people I have found. Let me know your feelings on this interview. Mine are very passionate!

SOULJOURNS – SWAMI DAYAMRITA, AMMA’S SENIOR DISCIPLE

SOULJOURNS – SWAMI DAYAMRITA, AMMA’S SENIOR DISCIPLE

Welcome to Souljourns and to the amazing story of a former atheist, a well educated man who came to know of Amma…

Much Love,

xDaisy

Easter Deal: Half Price on Friday & Monday :-)

Hello 🙂

I’m sorry about the short notice of this offer. I only just realised today that it is Easter this weekend. Therefore Good Friday and Easter Monday sessions are half price, £45, and will be done on Skype / phone only. This also applies to pre-booked sessions on those days.

I have a couple of spaces left this Thursday in London, so please let me know if you would like one.

Anyway, how are you?

I must say that I’m enjoying Brighton massively. The things I love the most are the sea, the beach, the South Downs and the people. They seem interested in celebrating life. There is perhaps more emphasis on sangha, friends, family, creativity, seva and sadhana. Then work is done to support lifestyle, rather than the other way round. I wish you were all here! In this sunshine, it is truly idyllic 🙂

Much Love,

xDaisy

Sessions in London: Wednesday and Thursday this week

Hello,

How are you?

I am remembering my Dad even more than usual today, since it would have been his Birthday. It’s such sweet memory and bittersweet sadness… He and I had so much fun together all the time. He was almost always in the kitchen cooking something delicious and inventive when he was not at work, and I would stand and talk endlessly to him. He would do impressions of Mick Jagger, whom he adored, and we would laugh or go deep – whatever came. It was this easy natural flow between us. I feel so grateful to have had him as a Dad. One in a million. Dad, I salute you 😉

This week, I will be in London giving sessions on Wednesday and Thursday. Next week will be Wednesday and Saturday. Or there is the option of distance healing via Skype. Please book as soon as you can as I want to make sure I see you 🙂

I don’t have much more to say right now because I am finding my feet in Brighton. I am kind of a little stunned still. Lots to sort out at this stage, like finding a new home by the 29th April, but it feels good to engage. And I love it here… One of my flatmates and I are doing the 1000 Names together often, which is such a godsend, and something I have wanted for the longest time – to share sadhana 🙂

I hope you are well, see you soon,

Love,

xDaisy

Sessions in London this week: Wednesday and Friday

Hello 🙂

Just a quick note to say that I have finally begun to settle gently into Brighton 🙂 Thinking of you all and wishing you well.

I will be in London at the venue in Barbican on Wednesday this week as usual, and I will also come up on Friday to give sessions in your home. Please book by text or call preferably. Booking in advance from now on would help me a great deal. But not essential. Also please consider distance healing via Skype, as then we can do the session at any time. Please ask me more about this if need be (essentially it is the same as an in-person session, in terms of strength, effectiveness etc.).

Love,

xDaisy

Vibrational Reality

Hello,

The vibrational quality of reality has come into my life strongly this past week. I am talking about the sense that what we are – expressed as both formless and form – ripples outwards and touches everything. Paradoxically, this ‘vibrational reality’ is both everything and also emerges from everything – like a birth – simultaneously. And it’s not just when we are praying, meditating or having nice thoughts 😉 When we truly get this, deeply feel it, it is kind of shocking. Here it all is, broadcasting out, all the time. I would like to know, what is your sense of this?

I was at the bus stop in Camden late on Friday night, returning home from visiting my 4 year old friend and her mother and another friend. You can imagine the scene: chaotic, teaming with life, gritty, intense. I was engaged in the Adyashanti Fierce Love course I am currently doing, which involved a guided meta meditation (on my iPod). I found this meditation very difficult: to breathe in the sorrow of the world and breathe out loving kindness. Was it too exposing to do it right there, in the middle of a kind of bizarre babylon, I wondered to myself? I decided to do it anyway. Immediately, a man approached me asking for a cigarette. I replied that I was meditating. But I saw my spiritualised ego instantly: there I was, doing meta, and I basically told someone to fuck off in a very ‘nice’ way. Off went the man, and I felt sad. I let it go and continued the meditation. Within moments he was back. Suddenly, he started stroking my arm and holding it. Ordinarily I would have physically pushed him off, but something deeper stopped me. He asked, “Can you help me?” and I said “Yes” without hesitation or thought. Looking directly into his eyes now and taking out my earphones, I began to help him find a street he was looking for. Then he said, “Can I take you with me?”. There was so much longing in his eyes and deeper underneath that, his essence was shining out. “We can cuddle and watch Disney movies”, he continued. I refused and he said, “Can I kiss you?”. Again I refused and pointed him to the street he was trying to reach. He asked to kiss me again and again I said No. It may sound naive to some, but I knew what he really wanted to kiss. I knew what he really wanted to take with him. That’s an example of the movement of vibrational reality, which is a non-personal yet intimate movement. That’s the gift we are really able to give anyone, in any moment of our lives.

The way I felt during this event reminded me of a picture given to me by a client this week. He was using it to illustrate the way he felt during the recent Foundational Vortex Healing training, in which his Amma mantra was running automatically throughout.

~ Alex Grey, ‘Spiritual Energy System’ (1981)

A little reminder that I will be moving to Brighton on the 2nd April and commuting to London to give sessions each week. More on that as it unfolds. To conclude today, I thought I would share this beautiful poem which a friend sent to me having heard Adyashanti read it on the recent silent meditation retreat at Mount Madonna (California):-

There’s a thread you follow.

It goes among things that change,

But it doesn’t change.

People wonder about what you are pursuing,

You have to explain about the thread,

But it is hard for others to see.

While you hold it, you can’t get lost.

Tragedies happen, people get hurt or die,

And you suffer and get old.

Nothing you do can stop time’s unfolding.

You don’t ever let go of the thread.

~ William Stafford

Wishing you all well,

Love,

xDaisy

Self No Other

Hello,

How are you? I have had to wittle this group down due to technicalities with Yahoo, so I hope no one I’ve knocked off feels left out. I am thinking of you all with a warm and surrendered heart and wondering where life is taking you… Please do write with your stories – they are always welcome 🙂

Thank you to those of you who responded to my last email; I feel your warmth and compassion. I know some of you have been concerned and wondering how I am, so I thought I’d fill you in a little and update you on this process, hopefully in a way that speaks to you and your process too. What I am going through in its deepest essence at the moment is heartbreak. I’m sure many of you have been through this too. So unexpected and so very deep, yet at least I know I have loved fully. I have heard some people say to me that they have never been in love before, even people who are quite a lot older than I am, and (perhaps) that is saddest of all.

The process has been that through fully embracing this heartbreak, as much as I am able in my fragile humanness, there is a continuing kind of breakdown breakthrough and entering into Divinity. I want to credit here my sadhana practice, Amma, Adyashanti and Vortex Healing and the engagement in these. There was also a sudden breakthrough during a group healing I was lucky enough to be part of – many thanks Chetana and Will Thornton. I was amazed at the turnaround and transformation after receiving this healing – almost like night and day – and the subsequent sense of completely withdrawing into the Self. Here is what I wrote about it in an email afterwards:-

“I just want to share that something has completely left me since this healing. Now I feel as if there is only the Self itself, and that’s all. It’s like nothingness, but not that empty feeling of emotional vacuum at all. It’s devoid of noise, there is only Silence. Grounded in Self now.”

In my diary I reflected further:-

“So this is it. It was always here. Right here… No wonder no one could give it to me. What this is could never be bought nor sold. ‘The peace which surpasses all understanding’, now I know You. Now I know You… You are this – are me. It’s not outside, it never was outside.”

When I arose the following morning, I knew I had to move home to Brighton. It’s funny because I have just remembered in writing this, that Eckhart Tolle once said one day he simply knew he had to move to North America. Moving as Self, it’s not a question of working things out. It’s letting go without end.

I will be coming to London every week to see you for sessions, so please don’t worry about that. I expect I will move around the beginning of April. Please do not hesitate to email or call me if you have any questions about this.

With Love in my heart,

xDaisy

The Invitation Of Suffering

Hello,

Happy Shivaratri! Today Shiva’s energy pours into creation, like the sword of Truth cutting through vines of illusion, the perfect day to let go of all remaining attachments the ‘me’ is clinging to. With the addition of the full lunar eclipse coming on Sunday, you may be feeling like doing nothing rather than planning / manifesting. If so, I would really encourage you to trust this instinct, drawing awareness inside into the heart of Life. This is a fantastic time to engage in that inner dive, via sadhana, chanting, bhajans, relaxation, quietness, or whatever you feel truly drawn to.

Before I engage in the subject of my email today, I would like to announce two pieces of good news. Firstly, my close friend who I described in earlier emails is now cancer-free! Upon discovering this information from doctors, she said, “This is a miracle”. Considering that her father died suddenly in the middle of her cancer treatment, and that initially the cancer was seen as potentially fatal, I am inclined to agree with this statement. The other news is that my friend Daniel has been made into a Vortex Healing teacher. I can’t think of anybody I would rather be in this position 🙂

Now, aside from these wonderful things, I have been in the midst of deep personal suffering since the beginning of the year, the likes of which I have rarely experienced in this lifetime. The process is a mixture of internal and external, becoming so excruciating that I was basically left with three directions in which to go with it: 1) into the victim, 2) into improving my life in an attempt to fight back against things or 3) into Truth and a total embrace of what is. Once the first two were seen through, I was left with no choice but to take the third option. The way this all looked in real terms by the way, was a bloody mess. Yet I came to realise gradually that the suffering, which I had always managed to bypass in some way in the past without seeing that that was what I was doing, wasn’t going anywhere – if anything it was getting worse. That was the moment at which I was finally, genuinely, willing to lose to Life. It was at once a recognition of which of ‘us’ (though ironically there was no experience of separation) was stronger – that Life itself was simply much more immense than any remaining sense of me, and also a feeling of being crushed into oblivion by my own conditioning, or by God – honestly, I don’t even know which it was – but whatever it was, it worked. What I mean by ‘it worked’ is that suffering itself became the invitation into freedom, Truth, God, Love. I took it, and I continuously now accept that invitation on a moment to moment to moment basis. The felt sense is like a huge weight has been lifted off my body and there is a simple and profound texture of oneness pervading everything in experience. I have had many ‘drops’ into this before, but this time there is a sense of permanence (if I can use that word), of a not-coming-and-going, but a resting of oneness in / as this form.

So to save you time and struggle, I suggest this as a practice for you too. Begin to notice the nature of your suffering now: is it really something which shouldn’t be there? Can you receive it fully right now?

Listen to your gut instinct. From there you will sense your true Yes and your true No, both to these questions and more importantly to the situations, people and choices in your life.

Love,

xDaisy

Dharma Love

Hello,

How are you? I am well, feeling fully in the love-stream-flow today.

I have been reflecting recently on what really heals people the most. I have to say it is Love. Sounds obvious, but let me be more specific. When asked what practices we should do when we are not with her, Amma said only one word: “Sangha”. This means community, gathering together in and as what we truly value. In addition to a satsang setting, such as the wonderful Villa Devi offering, this quality of life happens naturally within dharmic friendship. It’s a phrase Adyashanti uses to describe the kind of friendship between two people on an awakening path. Touching this kind of friendship is incredibly transformative… You bounce off one another in your deepest places, encouraging each other to grow and face life with laughter and passion and warmth. Without any effort at all, the world seems to widen and disappear as the oneness you both are when you are together.

So I really encourage this. Yes, have healings, yes, do sadhana (spiritual practices), but often overlooked as an intense spiritual practice is – Call your true friend, get together, open your hearts to one another. No healing can truly take place without this kind of love and depth and intimacy.

The other thing which has been on my mind to share with you, is the way in which shifts move in most people, and the sometimes resulting confusion of this. Let’s say you have a shift or an awakening. Really the description doesn’t matter because when something like this happens to you, it is beyond doubt and needs no external affirmation. Perhaps for a while, there is a deep and overriding felt sense of oneness, Truth, Divinity. And then, it may feel like this goes away. This is the point at which it is very easy for cynicism, doubt or confusion to take control. You may even tell yourself that nothing really happened. In actual fact, often what did happen was a permanent shift: what was there before, never actually returned. Yet the sense of this can feel distant.

In my perception and experience, what has normally happened is that the sense of oneness / transformation has become ‘normal’ – it’s integrated into the background, into the body. But it can feel like you’re back to square one and that you’ve ‘lost it’. The tendency, then, is to give up too easily, listening to cynicism, fear or doubt. The thing at this point, is to keep going, with an attitude of open receptivity. The reality of living awakening / Truth / Love / oneness / transformation / healing is that most people are not going to have an awakening / liberation / enlightenment along the lines of Amma, Ramana Maharshi, Adyashanti, Eckhart Tolle or Tony Parsons. Even though these beings are here inspiring us and showing the way in an absolutely crucial sense, I think it is misleading to believe that ‘my path’ will be the same as theirs. And this belief leads to a great deal of misunderstanding.

Your experience is your experience, and no teaching can get you out of it, no teaching can change what you are going to have to go through to satisfy that yearning for awakening / Divinity / transformation inside you. For most people, awakening embodiment evolution is a life-long thing. It’s really like that. It’s not something with a ‘final ending’, and it’s not something which happens in a flash and stays feeling like that forever. It simply doesn’t work like that, except for a tiny minority of people. And that minority is highly unlikely to be you. Awakening is a blood and guts thing and you have to get your hands dirty. So quit spiritually bypassing, throw yourself into the arms of Divinity, of the private Silence within you, of your friends and of your suffering. I say this equally to myself as I do to you!

Finally, here is a piece of writing I did on a Day Retreat with Chetana and Will in the Sussex countryside. I hope you enjoy it:-

Divinity Intended

I cannot speak…for talking this out is nothing at all anymore. This Silence bears witness to all of that and is also all of that. No need for words anymore. My silent spoken friend, awareness, finally stayed after his tea was drunk.

I saw what is true for me and accepted the somehow burden of it. This being done, You came in again. Then, the deeper revelation – the surrender……. No holding back this time. You showed me all, You revealed Yourself in the night, in the day, in the detail – all at once. That timeless moment – Now. All my burdens are laid down in You. All my heavy weighty blindness and my deafness to Your song is gone. Now I see it all. The game that I played – You knew my every move. You were always bathing it in that Light, yet only now can I see this.

What needs to happen, needs to happen. Yes, this is true. But what I failed to understand was the pitch perfect way this is all going. The sheerness of a thousand songs called out in Your name. It must be as it is and as it will be. You are the One, I am That. I found You again, and in the finding, I am no longer me. No longer isolated from You, my beautiful Muse, my all, my everything. I didn’t know that this way is the way. This precise way which you are unfolding… Divinity Intended. Not outside anymore, not happening to a me. Divinity Intended. A button unbuttoned and a comb combed. The jeans and the hair of Existence.

What has to happen…it’s unfolding, opening – at Its pace alone. Only Your rhythm exists. You lovemaker… It’s all happening now, and now, and now. There is no other; no other at all. This is Your game, and I feel no distance from You anymore. Somehow, I have not transferred this, not managed to translate this – the incredible depth of what is here.

Love,

xDaisy

Festive Season Gift: FREE Clinic Tomorrow

Hello 🙂

How are you?

As a New Year and Christmas gift to you, I am offering a FREE clinic at the venue in Barbican tomorrow, on a first come first served basis. This also applies to distance sessions tomorrow. As far as I can remember, this is the first time I have offered you this, so please do make use of it if you can.

I wish I had more time to write, but I don’t right now and didn’t have over the holiday season. Soon though – and hopefully see you tomorrow 🙂

Happy New Year 🙂 🙂 🙂

Love,

xDaisy

Happy Solstice :-) :-) :-)

Hello 🙂

I simply want to wish you a Happy Solstice 🙂

Here is what Bjork expresses about it (attached). It’s from her album Biophilia. Wish I had more time to write!

I am away 24th – 27th Dec and 31st Dec – 1st Jan, but available apart from that.

Much Love,

xDaisy

Videos

Hello 🙂

How are you? Friends have been sending me videos to watch on YouTube recently and I thought I would share them with you too. So moving to watch, and relax and be connected 🙂

Here is one with Ric Weinman giving a talk in Watkins spiritual bookshop in London:-

Vortex Healing and Merlin by Ric Weinman

This is amazing, and I won’t spoil it for you!:-

Inside the Superhuman World of the Iceman

Inside the Superhuman World of the Iceman

Wim Hof first caught the attention of scientists when he proved he was able to use meditation to stay submerged …

Here is one of my absolute favourite guides, smashing through taboos and pointing to freedom through the physical:-

Awakened lovemaking – Marlies Cocheret

Awakened lovemaking – Marlies Cocheret

With love, directness, and humor, Marlies invites our spirituality down from the clouds right into this human bo…

And here are Adyashanti and Francis Bennett discussing the book I am currently reading, ‘Resurrecting Jesus’. Our local vicar wants a copy of the book, having spoken with me,  and I am going to give it to him. That was a good moment 🙂

Adyashanti & Francis Bennett on “Resurrecting Jesus” – Buddha at the Gas Pump Interview

Adyashanti & Francis Bennett on “Resurrecting Jesus” – Buddha…

Also see http://batgap.com/adyashanti-francis-bennett-resurrecting-jesus/ Adyashanti, author of The Way of Liber…

So, enjoy 🙂

Love,

Daisy

All The Way Through

Hello 🙂

How are you? As some of you know, I am recovering from what has turned out to be kidney stones. I am back and available from tomorrow. I can’t believe how long it has been since I have written properly. I have been thinking of you and feeling you in my heart.

At the moment, I am going through something which has really changed my life and I need to share it with you briefly. One of my closest friends has been diagnosed with ovarian cancer, which could also have spread. I only found out very recently and I am still in some shock. This situation is like a bomb which has gone off in my life, and things will be different for me for some time, in various different ways. I can’t say much else on this, because I am still digesting it. My friend is my age, so it is unusual. Though from a Vortex point of view it becomes easier to understand. To recap on that, 95% of cancer is caused by suppressed grief fed by resentment. It is not the grief / loss that is the problem, but the suppression of that, which can kill. So please, do take note, and may this be an inspiration for you to persevere with your inner work.

I wanted to write to you about Amma and my experiences on Europe tour, but that feels wrong tonight. All I want to add is, please don’t stay away. Work is helping me and I look forward to seeing you very soon.

Here is a song which is healing me a lot at this time. It is by my friend Will (Chidanand) and I thought you might enjoy it too. What I like is that you can actually feel the real devotion, which I find unusual on the spiritual music scene:-

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OtECoyQTL8o

Love and best wishes to you all,

xDaisy

I am available for sessions

Hello,

Just a quick note to say that due to a change of plan, I am available for sessions until Thursday. I will then go to Milan and Munich for the end of Europe tour with Amma. I have use of Leila’s wonderful healing room in Barbican on Wednesday. Other days I can come to you.

Sorry I have had little time to write recently. Between the Amma tour and Vortex Healing training, I have not had enough time to do my experiences justice on paper. I look forward to being with you in person though,

Love,

xDaisy

The Ammathon Continues

Hello 🙂

I wanted to write to you as soon as I had a spare moment. I am unusually busy at the moment. As you know I went to be with Amma in the Netherlands after a brief spell working in London. I feel so grateful at the moment…I cannot believe how much time I get to spend with her. And yet it feels like the most natural thing in the world to do. As a result, I will be doing a lot more of the Europe tour than I had originally planned. Everything else but Amma seems to have gone out the window! The only other thing which gives me as much joy and satisfaction when I am back home is my work with you and with the horses.

I had an experience while on stage in the Netherlands which I wanted to share with you. It was right at the end of darshan on the first night, so around 1am (as it was one of those 11am – 11pm days). Amma decided to sing and grabbed the microphone. I managed to climb up onto the stage with all my friends and there we were: us, Amma, and probably only around 500 other people scattered around the stage and surrounds. As we all joined in with the singing, I got this overwhelming feeling of pure happiness, absolute completion, like all the dots joined up. I was so happy that I looked at Amma and burst into tears. Luckily no one could hear me over the music, or see me because I was crouched behind a friend! This Scorpio can’t stand being seen when vulnerable 😉 As I sobbed, something released in me, some kind of wall of resistance I had been carrying towards God, towards stepping fully into this awakening path I am on, and the longing to realise God was simply overwhelming. It was like devotion broke my heart open. Once the crying stopped, I opened my eyes and Amma was looking right into them. She was staring into my eyes and for that time I was able to fully face my guru without any movement in any direction, internally or externally. She had no expression of any kind, she was simply looking with intensity which was simultaneously totally empty. Although I have no way of interpreting what happened, nor do I need to in reality, what I feel as a result is that I need to spend a lot more time with this being. I have been neglecting my own needs, which are the needs to fully realise Divinity in this lifetime, and that has to stop. All other desires fall away for me when I enter into that space which fell between Amma and I in that staring, and what that space truly is.

One idea I have had is to spend 6 months of each year with her, in India and on the western tours. But we’ll see…it’s early days yet after this profound opening. However, I wanted to share this goal with you so that we can work out a way to do as much work as possible while I am here and then Skype while I am away. I feel so much more motivated to work now that I have seen the quality of the work I did at the program in the Netherlands. Please do not think that I am withdrawing from the work part of my life: on the contrary – I feel even more inspired than ever to serve your needs in that regard. So far, I will be at the programs in Paris and Munich and I am looking into Barcelona and Toulon. Here are the dates for Paris and Munich:-

October 26-28: Paris, France

November 15-17: Munich, Germany

I hope you are well and enjoying the turning of the seasons into this beautiful orange colour I keep seeing everywhere. I look forward to speaking with you or working with you. So much Love,

xDaisy

Ammathon!

Hello 🙂

How was your Ammathon in London? I hope you got to see her. I had a wonderful time. Some highlights included getting Darshan with Mum in which Amma recognised her from 14 years ago, doing Arati for Amma (the flame) and feeling so deeply the sense of family and community. Also, I love to serve, especially Embracing the World, so that’s always good 🙂 I got a deep sense when doing the Arati to Amma that “I’m ok”, as if that was being said by Amma / Divine / my true Self. Sounds small, but it was actually very big for me. There was so much else, but I can’t write it all now. I will keep it brief as I am very tired and have yet to pack because……..

I have decided to go to the Netherlands with Amma at the last minute! I will be back on Thursday. Sorry that I couldn’t give you more notice about this.

I leave you with my two favourite quotes from Amma:-

(on meditation) “The mind automatically becomes still in the presence of Love”

and

(on being scolded for wildly serving) “In compassion, there are no rules”

Much Love and fond wishes to you,

xDaisy

Amma in London 11th – 12th October (all-nighter: 12th)

Hello 🙂

I am writing to remind you of the exciting news that Amma will soon be with us here in London 🙂 On Tuesday no less! If you are thinking of coming, it’s really important to allow much more time than you think you need. Either because queuing for a Darshan token takes longer, or because you want to stay in the energy longer, or you bump into that long lost friend etc. Something always happens with Amma. The atmosphere is teeming with life, with shakti, with all good things 🙂 I have been feeling her presence in the last 2 days in particular…there is this alive quietness speaking something…a language I don’t understand but that I knew long ago, and still know somehow – somewhere deep inside.

I will be on the massage area, most likely on the massage chairs, so do come and visit if you are there.

I have got hold of the Q&A I had with Adyashanti this summer during the retreat. It has given me a lot of cause to reflect on this awakening embodiment evolution and what stillness really truly is. If you would like to hear it, let me know and I can arrange it via Dropbox.

I hope this email finds you well and diving the deep inner dive to Truth. Enjoy this evening,

Love,

xDaisy

Underneath All Currents

Hello 🙂

How are you? I feel relieved that Equinox was on Wednesday (they say ‘living in a world of plenty’) and that Mercury retrograde ended on Thursday. Seeing Bjork live at the Royal Albert Hall in conjunction with these events was pure magic 🙂 I also noticed how incredibly deep the satsang went on Thursday evening at Villa Devi, which other people in the group also reported. As a reminder, we chant (amongst other things) the 108 Names the 1000 Names of the Divine Mother (Archana), sing bhajans and meditate – inspired by Amma.

I have been into Bjork’s musical genius since the age of 13, and have now seen her live 5 times over a period of 21 years. Yes – I used to be obsessed! I had a moment before I walked into the auditorium this time, which I wanted to share with you. I was in the loo putting on my lipgloss. Suddenly I felt this Silence deepen and come in through my body from the left, like a liquid. As I looked at myself in the mirror, I realised something which in words would be, “I know who I am now”. I could feel the qualitative difference from when I used to come and see Bjork – now the tangible quality of Beingness, you could say, was here and was seen as what I actually am. The freedom felt immense; the freedom of not-knowing yet knowing, I guess you could call it Realising – I am This, this Silence. And I want to specify, it isn’t knowing who I am the way people usually say that – “She knows who she is” – about someone with charisma or power, for example. Not that. And it isn’t knowing as such, in the way we normally mean that. It is genuinely perceiving my own nature and the nature of all things and beings. Without filtration, without ‘winning’, without ‘losing’, without anything… There is such relief when you know that; a deep alleviation of that nagging separate feeling that dogs you before, which I see in so many people’s eyes. The point of sharing this, apart from simply sharing, is to use myself as an example of the fact that it is true that Silence is our nature and that one can certainly discover that in a genuine way, if one is interested in doing so.

I have been enjoying the sessions with you so much recently… They have taken on a different quality, an other-worldliness, as my sensing unfolds itself into your systems and as Grace makes its mysterious appearance often. I feel honoured that you would share all of your process with me – the laughter, the tears, the cosmic side, the dark side and all the sides of you. Thank you.

To finish I would like to share with you my favourite Bjork song. I have chosen a link without a video, to enhance the listening aspect, in the hope that the song will drop deeper into your ears. When I first discovered this song, I was about 14 and I fell in love with it. I experienced all kinds of deep emotions inside my room listening to it and often crying. Nowadays I perceive it as being a piece about Stillness. Whatever it is doesn’t really matter, it is a work of art in the truest sense: full, empty, meaningful and meaning-free.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=17yWeynOfOI

Love,

xDaisy

ToDay of Manifestation

Hello 🙂

I have heard on the grapevine that today is an excellent day for manifesting….. 🙂 It would be a good idea for you to do something to bridge into your life what you need, want or what is your deepest desire in this lifetime.

Perhaps you could simply sit, allow Silence to prevail, and then call out from your heart to Divinity for what you want, as a deep prayer. Everyone will have their own version of what this looks and feels like. I felt called to do my own version this morning and it felt wonderful 🙂 Very blissful, which actually surprised me 🙂

Here is a little inspiration on your way:-

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lf6TQoQmiPk

Love,

xDaisy

Amma in London: 11th & 12th October

Hello 🙂

How are you? I wanted to tell you the exciting news that Amma is almost with us! I realised yesterday that the dates are drawing near – in just over a month Amma will be here in Alexandra Palace with us. So make sure to book your time off. It is FREE. You just need to queue for your free darshan token, whilst enjoying the buzzing atmosphere full of shakti delight 🙂 All proceeds go to the global humanitarian aid charity Embracing the World, and no one in the entire organisation is being paid, including Amma herself. Isn’t that cool? So cool… Visit me in the massage area if you like.

Here is the link for the whole Europe tour, in case you feel inspired to go and see her elsewhere too:-

http://www.amma-europe.org/ammas-tour.html

What else to say…? The sun is shining, my sessions with you are a constant source of joy and inspiration…as with the equine assisted therapy…the Silence remains strong and present…and I am eating ramen soup – my favourite 🙂

Let me know if you need anything, or want to talk through your deepening process,

Love,

xDaisy

Homecoming

Hello 🙂

How are you? I hope you are engaging in your deepest intention, and that you are well. This weather in London, though greyer today, is a continuous joy to be in…

I want to write a little more about the effects of the silent meditation retreat with Adyashanti. As he says, a spiritual experience is only valuable inasmuch as it has a lasting effect on one’s everyday life. We’ll see about that in time… For now I can say that, since the retreat, something has changed. The Silence is here, in a new way. What also feels different is that my ‘questing’ energy, my chasing after Divinity, has come to an end. That energy was in me for nearly 20 years this year. I think I believed it was necessary to have that in order to find the Divine, but I now question whether that is true. It could be that my ‘questing’ actually masked Divinity from me. Either way, in the end I got far more, and also far less really, than I bargained for. Needless to say, my relationship with Amma, Vortex Healing and Adyashanti have transformed a great deal. That is ongoing and I can’t say much about it at the moment that would make sense. The funny thing is though, even my Mum has remarked on the change in me several times since this retreat. One time she said, “You know who you are now”. That raised a smile 🙂

What I can talk about is how my work with you has changed. My sessions now feel like I am resting and creating from Silence. Then I look to my sensing abilities and begin to see how the healing energy is naturally moving. It’s like painting with Light. One of you commented that, “You are like a conduit now. You don’t even need to channel.”

Adyashanti will not come back to Europe next year due to his health problems, but I highly recommend his retreats in America if you feel drawn:-

http://www.adyashanti.org/index.php?file=retreatsschedule

I would like to close with an excerpt from my diary on the retreat, which now feels almost predictive of the aforementioned stopping:-

“I found a snake by the side of the road today. It was dead. I told it I was sorry it had died, especially since it was so young – a baby, I think. It was charcoal grey on the underbelly and brown and radiant on top. It shone somehow, with brown, like one of those sandstone rings you can get. I wonder what kind of snake it is? I don’t remember seeing a snake in England before. The first three I saw were rattlesnakes, in Arizona, when I was eleven. The only other one I’ve seen was on the Ashram. That one was so beautiful: it was moving in that classic snake dance and it was bright green. Sort-of cascading along a sandy path. Come to think of it, they were all deeply significant times when I saw those snakes… I wonder what is happening here and what wonders are in store after this retreat? 🙂 This snake was so small and thin and beautiful. And it had a tiny, soft face. I saw the beauty in death.”

I look forward to seeing you soon,

Love,

xDaisy

Bank Holiday Deal: Monday!

Hello 🙂

I hope this email finds you well. I am so happy to be able to offer you sessions this Bank Holiday 🙂

I will be offering distance sessions via Skype or phone on Monday half price, £45. This deal includes pre-booked sessions.

Much Love,

Daisy

Oceans

Hello,

I wanted to remind you that I am back in action now and that I will be offering distance sessions via Skype or phone on Monday Bank Holiday, half price: £45. This deal includes pre-booked sessions.

The retreat was sensational… Really something unexpectedly mind-blowing. What I want to say about Adyashanti is that he is possibly the only teacher or guide I know who refuses to take authority away from anyone, even in a subtle way. I have found this to be consistently true over the 14 years that I have known him. The effect of that, is actually immense. Greater than I could have imagined before doing this silent meditation retreat. I will write more as I go. For now, I would like to share with you a poem I wrote in the middle of the retreat (hence the title of this post). However, due to formatting issues here, I am unable to do so. Therefore please contact me on daisynokes22@yahoo.com to receive it.

See you soon,

Love,

Daisy

Silent Meditation Retreat with Adyashanti

Hello,

I must say I am thrilled to have the opportunity to deepen into this great, deep silence……….who knows what will happen in this great adventure into the unknown? The inner dive, swan dive, into mystery. I will be unavailable in communication – on a silent meditation retreat – from tomorrow until the 22nd Aug, when I will be back in action.

I want to share a few more learnings from the Ammathon (as a friend rightly called it!), which I hope will benefit you. During the program in Toronto, Amma said something which really struck me. She said, “Vasanas have no power of their own. It is we who give them power.” I realised in that moment, how powerless negativity really is. Her statement also cut through, in me, the tendency to become so familiar with something, that I begin to misuse it. What I mean is that I have talked about my ‘vasanas’ (latent negative tendencies) or issues or behaviour so many times, I can forget that it is I myself who permits them to have the power they have and who actually gives that power to them. I thought this could strike a chord for many of you as well. I would add that it is our tendency to identify with such internal arisings, which is the mechanism by which we give them the most power.

The most core life story I had, the one which had most coloured my experience of reality in this lifetime, came up during the last couple of days with Amma. We save the best for last, don’t we? For me, that was the love story – the agony and the ecstasy of romantic love, and underlying that, the nagging feeling that the right relationship would fulfil me and close any remaining ‘gap’. This probably sounds familiar to some of you, perhaps to many of you. I know – it’s a hard one to admit! I am not going to share the private details of that, sorry 😉 But please bear with me anyway. There is something more important than that part of the story. It began on the treadmill, of all places, not somewhere I frequently find myself. But going to the gym occasionally, during the tour, helped me get time by myself (which is almost completely impossible on staff) and helped me move energetics that were stuck. Suddenly on this treadmill, the desire to be free of that core story hit me, like never before. I simply HAD to be free of it; I could carry it all no more. So with this fire, I made a silent cry – a prayer – within, to Amma. With that, I let go, knowing that it could go either way: perhaps I would get free of this pattern, perhaps I would not – it was in the hands of Divinity now.

Shortly after this, Amma did a Q&A with the retreat group outside, in the unseasonably hot evening sun. There were only about 500 of us there. Right from the beginning, I felt a large amount of fear and anxiety coursing through my system, to the point where I could barely sit still. I didn’t know why I was feeling this way, it was like a body thing. I decided to focus more intensely on the question that was happening, and on Amma’s answer. As I looked at Amma, she made a certain movement as she talked with her hands, and with that I was gone. I felt as if I was merging into Amma from where I was – it was part-visual, part-kinesthetic (akin to the way I sense, during a session). As this happened, any remaining sense of separation fell away and I began to cry. In this oneness and tears and the whole un-conveyable experience, I suddenly knew that all my desire, lack and longing for this person – and all women and men who I had ever felt that towards – was really the longing for God. I simply knew it. Not as a concept and not as a philosophy, and not as an excuse. I actually saw it. I saw it in such a way, that it felt like I could never actually un-see it. I also sensed intuitively that all my other desires were also the longing for God. I felt freed at last…….truly, truly free.

(NB God in my perception is also Truth, wholeness, unity, oneness etc.) The next thoughts were, “Why have I been running after men and women all this time?” and “How could I have missed this reality all these years?” Then the strangest thing happened: I experienced depression for the first time in my life. As I sat, purposefully alone, eating dinner, I felt depressed. But there was absolutely no resistance to it. The sense of oneness was so broad and pervasive, that there was absolutely no problem with feeling depressed. In fact, I was pleased to be having the experience, because before that I never understood what depression was. I knew what pain was, deep gruelling emotional pain, but I didn’t know depression until that moment. I then experienced suicidal ideation! But again, there was no problem with this either, because there was zero resistance to it. And it existed in a context of oneness, of Love. After about an hour, both of these so-called negative experiences passed of their own accord, without me doing anything at all about them.

In hindsight, I believe they occurred because my ego had just lost its trump card, which was the core love story drama. With that gone, it seems like it had to play the depression and suicide cards to try to regain ‘control’ of my bodymind. But that didn’t work: these feelings and thoughts simply passed through, as I said. So then I was just there: story-less and One, feeling a sense of ordinariness and freedom. Nothing special, yet complete liberation.

I make my newsletters personal because I don’t believe I can help unless I talk from my own direct experience. I hope that by reading this something may have resonated or sparked for you.

See you soon, after the retreat,

Love,

xDaisy

Out of the Blue

Hello,

First off I want to tell you about an upcoming training in the IAM, Amma’s meditation technique, which came to her in a vision while she was taking a nighttime stroll around the ashram many years ago. I highly recommend it to anyone looking for a way to connect with Divinity, a fantastic meditation technique or simply a way to unwind, calm thinking down or relax the nervous system. Whatever intention you bring to it, will gradually manifest in your life. It is being held in Brighton / Lewes on the 17th / 18th September. The cost to cover room hire etc. is £35; please contact me if you are interested.

My next recommendation is the Foundational Vortex Healing course being held here in London, 19th – 23rd September with Anthony Gorman. It is hard to begin to explain what Vortex Healing has brought into my life so far because it is so broad and deep. I was thinking recently about why I practice Vortex Healing more than the other helping modalities I am trained in. I came to the simple conclusion that, in my personal and professional experience, it is more effective at deepening you into the core of what you are and releasing the roots of what you aren’t, than any other modality of help I have trained in or experienced first hand.

Now back to the Amma tour this summer 🙂 It was interesting to hear Amma explain in an aside during one of her talks in L.A., that the external aspect of Kali – the fierce appearance – is designed to bring out the dormant doubt in the devotee. I immediately thought of those of you who have felt that Amma has glared at you or ignored you etc. over the years. If she is indeed an embodiment of Kali (which I personally believe), then this might help you make sense of what she is doing there. From my perspective, no action Amma makes is unconscious, and Yes – she can bestow focus on many many people at once. Anyone who has experienced the ‘staring Darshan’ at the end of Devi Bhava will know about this. When she is ‘Kali with us’, perhaps Amma is indeed purposefully bringing out the poison of doubt in the process of life and Divinity. If this kind of insecurity exists within in a suppressed state – for example, as cynicism – it gives rise to all kinds of distortions and disorders in the experience of living, not to mention in the body. On a similar note, it is not uncommon for people to not want to be with Amma if they have strong issues with their own mother. It is easy to put your birth mother’s face over Amma’s face, subtly and subconsciously projecting onto her. If you had painful childhood experiences, you may then fear that she will hurt you in some way, get angry with you, punish you for something you did or ignore you etc. If this sounds like you, you may even find that when you approach her for Darshan, that you have negative thoughts towards Amma. All of that is part of the process of you healing from things which are sometimes unimaginably deep in your system. It will not hurt Amma in any way. In fact, she has been known to ask us to project anger and negativity onto her using the Amma dolls, in order to release in a harmless way. It is possible to see at some point, that the thoughts you have towards Amma are really thoughts you harbour towards yourself.

On a different note, Amma is really urging us all to plant trees if possible, adding the chilling words that, “when we cut down trees, remember we are building our own coffin.” She is also encouraging anyone who has outside space to plant a small vegetable garden and try to eat the produce from that. This means we will not go hungry when food runs short in the future and we will also avoid consuming the pesticides etc. on supermarket vegetables. Not to mention that we save money and get in touch with the earth at the same time 🙂

Now for a little story 🙂 I had a profound experience of Divine Intention during this tour with Amma. Having something like that really changes your life, because before that the idea that the Divine can reach into your life and move it in a certain direction is often just that – an idea, perhaps a hope, or a dream. Here is what happened to me. Out-of-the-blue, during Devi Bhava in Toronto (the final stop on the tour), my boss told my friend and I to go and sit with Amma on the stage. We were understandably astonished, because this lady is known for wanting people to work very hard. We jumped at the chance and made our way onto the stage. We stood beside the ‘bouncer’, an entertaining yet stern man who always wears a suit, and manages the part of the stage nearest to Amma on all the US tour programs. Again out-of-the-blue, he invited us to sit together directly next to Amma. Let me explain that this never happens! It was really out of character for him. We felt so lucky, and beamed at one another 🙂 As I watched her up-close, each movement Amma made as she gave Darshan would bridge me deeper into presence… Then, she suddenly turned and looked at both of us directly, smiling. It was amazing… That look will never leave me. It was a look of the purest knowing… It was so rich, so full… Both my friend and I reported the same things: it felt like Amma was communicating that she herself had brought us into this tour on staff, and that this exchange with her was a kind of ‘graduation’. We both felt this deep sense of Amma acknowledging all the seva we had done, and of the inner work we had done and also we felt this incredible depth of solidarity between us. We felt as if Amma had given each one to the other to help us complete the tour. Somehow I knew, intuitively, that I had just had a real life experience of Divine Intention. And in the wake of that, doubt vanished. I wish I could put this all into words better. But maybe it isn’t possible to do that. The mystery manifesting into creation, manifesting in all kinds of ways, every moment… You can see why the wise men (and women) say, better to sit as silence.

I hope you enjoyed this email and that you are getting plenty of sun 🙂

Love,

Daisy

Why Amma?

Hello,

How are you Londoners and people of the world? 🙂 I hope if you are in London that you are enjoying this heat wave we are lucky enough to be having 🙂

I want to address a question today which people often ask me, or ask me without words. Why Amma? Why do I do this? Why go and pay a handsome fee to work without pay, under conditions which some would consider harsh?

The answer is simple: it’s love. I look at Amma, and I love her. The depth of that love makes me want to support her work, serve Embracing the World (her global charity), and beyond that, to serve life in its entirety. For me, it’s passion; it’s not a ‘being good’ thing. It’s not even spiritual. Imagine being in love…now times it by 500…that’s nowhere near it. This is bhakti (devotion) in real terms.

Everyone has their own particular relationship with Amma, and certainly Amma devotees are all there for different reasons. Some of my friends, clients and family feel put off by the culty appearance of it all, by some of the devotees (who can be far from loving) and by the pretentious ‘holier than thou’ dynamics. Those of you who know me even a little bit, know I am definitely not the poster girl for holiness 🙂 No; it’s a love thing. Pure and simple.

So, what were the physical realities of being on volunteer tour staff, you may wonder. In my particular seva, we were working around 14 hours per day (every day) and longer on a Devi Bhava (the all-nighter). We got roughly 5 hours sleep per night, on the floor, sharing a room and bathroom with between 6 and 40 women. Then, after the long Devi Bhava, we would get on a coach and travel to the next city. Some of those journeys were over 22 hours long. When we arrived, we would sometimes get only a few hours sleep before set-up and work began. We delivered programs in 10 cities, over a 6-week period.

In between all this, I would squeeze my way onto the stage to spend time with Amma. Occasionally, Amma would call the staff to receive Darshan. I would like to share with you my diary entry about this:-

6/6/16

I don’t know how possible it is to put this into words…

Impossible.

*  *  *  *  *  *  *

But let me try.

Amma called us for Darshan in Seattle on Devi Bhava. As I entered the stage in the queue, I decided to make a prayer within. I said something like, ‘Amma, please assist me in focussing on the goal of this life: on realising God. Please help me to remain focussed even during this tour.’

As I laid my eyes upon her, hugging the person in front, tears welled up. I felt this love for her that was beyond anything I had ever experienced, and yet ordinarily human at the same time. I simply rejoiced within, at the sight of her. She moved my head around quite a bit before finally placing it on her heart, while she answered the questions of some devotees to her right. It always amazes me how one never feels left out in this scenario: Amma’s attention is deeply with each one of us simultaneously, which is testament to the sheer depth of oneness she is living. She then kissed my cheek and embraced me, chanting in my ear with a kind of vehemence in her voice, “My daughter! My daughter! My daughter!”, over and over again. I fell into total oneness…….. At the same time, the human being felt her as my teacher and as my mother – somewhere where those two are one and the same. And the experience of trust was overwhelming. As Amma finished the hug and handed me prasad, we drew back from one another and she looked deeply into my eyes. I cannot adequately express in words what I felt pass between us in that exchange: it was simply beyond the beyond. I then felt deep gratitude and expressed it somehow from oneness. Amma’s expression altered to one of such profound compassion….…something just too immense to convey. She embraced me again and then placed a chocolate in my mouth. That was the moment at which my searching gently stopped. My life’s search ceased in that moment. It was, perhaps, what many teachers have described as the end of seeking. Immediately after this I experienced true happiness: powerful, pure, authentic, unconditional happiness. I felt restored, redeemed – completely. There was total and utter wholeness. I’m not talking conceptually here, but actually. The real thing.

As I walked away, I collapsed on the stage in tears beside Amma. I was crying, and then I was sobbing; there was no way to do anything at all, and I couldn’t stop. But I was actually sobbing with happiness. My heart broke open under a force: that of revelation, unconditional happiness, union…Truth. Simultaneously, I experienced a spontaneous healing of my past, which came from nowhere. Dad’s death, the break-ups, the childhood trauma, the fear, isolation, despair, loss, loneliness, lack and doubt – all of these were consumed by something I cannot describe. I cried and cried, wiping my make-up from my face with my sleeve, only to cry uncontrollably again.

When the crying eventually stopped, I sat for a while. When I left the stage, I felt empty in the true sense of the word. Emptied of separation, of that heavy anxious burden. And the very subtle sense that something is missing, was gone. I could rest…finally, I could rest…… The feeling of resting and oneness were beautiful……profound. Paradoxically, there was an abundant feeling of vitality at the same time. But it was vitality without ownership. I realised that rest and vitality are the same thing. Eventually I went about the day, without saying a word about it to anyone.”

I hope you enjoy your day and that I get to see you soon 🙂

Love,

xDaisy

The End of the Film

Hello 🙂

How are you? I hope you are enjoying the Bank Holiday, and not working like my poor flatmate! I have decided to take tomorrow off in order to take proper care of myself before my move and big trip with Amma. My apologies to those of you who were waiting for this opportunity. There will be others once I get back (16th July). Obviously if you are in crisis, or even semi-crisis, do call me. I will be available until Friday, and then contactable sporadically by email while away.

I want to share with you a couple of interesting sessions which happened during the past week. I had the opportunity to work with someone who had not experienced healing before, which was an honour and a joy. She was naturally sensitive to Vortex and I felt the session went very deep, which was confirmed by what she said when she eventually came round. She said she was amazed to be able to “feel something so palpably that is simply energy”. This is something I forget nowadays because I am used to it: how incredible it is that simply channelling Vortex Healing can create this type of tangible effect on a person. She wrote to me the next day: “Thank you for such a magical experience. I felt so held and safe. Like I was truly blessed.”

I was also fortunate enough to do a session on a client who reminded me of me some years ago, which was a sweetness on a personal level 🙂 One of the things that was similar between us, was that she was crying and almost hyper-ventilating with a fear release during most of the session, yet she had the courage and the trust to keep going in anyway. That was me when I got into Vortex – every time I experienced the energy, I would react like this. I was able to see a good amount of detail about what the issue was for this person, and the childhood experiences that had concreted it. Afterwards, I was actually shocked by what she said and the way she said it. She exclaimed, “I was in so much pain! I’ve been in a serious car accident before and I wasn’t in as much pain as that.” Thankfully she had already intuited that this was a good thing in terms of her healing process. Bear in mind I was not using any bodywork, or therapy, in this session: my client’s response was purely due to the density of the underlying root conditioning breaking out from her.

It is sometimes hard for people to believe it could be true that even physical pain is not really rooted in the physical body. Perhaps it is simply too threatening for some to entertain the idea that the wild torrents of the inner landscape with which we are all in touch (to some degree or another), the subtle bodies and the unknown itself, could be the true origin of the suffering we experience on any and every level. But what would such a person conclude if they were actually watching the above session unfold..? It is an interesting question.

I had the pleasure of talking with two friends about awakening yesterday, one at lunchtime and one at nighttime. Lucky me! In the first conversation, my friend and I were talking about what it meant to us to ‘want awakening’ before it happened. For both of us, it wasn’t something that we knew really; it was something much more subtle than that. And yet this subtle unknown curious sense burned and resonated within each of us. And somehow, we both found ourselves waking up young and before almost everyone around us. We shared that awakening is not a game – there’s no game there, no map or gain – there’s no point to it basically. Even the word awakening is misleading in a way. We went on to say that, as human beings, we all do what we love: we are into what we are into, and that’s simply that. In reality, nothing ‘gets you there’ – gets you interested or engaged or involved or awake, if you are not already into it. It’s not a progressive thing – like a hobby, or a career, or a soulmate connection, or climbing the spiritual ladder. It’s nothing like that. It’s so simple…so simple, and so unfrilly.

In the other conversation, I was speaking to a friend and saying that once you have this insight, life is kind of over – and at such a young age. Lol! And yet, some part of the ego can still hold on all over again and think there is something still to get or gain. I said to him, “It’s like if I gave you a DVD and then told you what happens at the end. If you were sensible, you would put the DVD down and walk out of the room. There’s nothing in it for you now you know the ending. But I bet you would watch the film anyway, just for the drama leading up to it?” He laughed in agreement and added, “Yes. It’s like after you really experience what’s real, you know that all desires are really the desire for that. So they seem transparent – fake almost – and it’s pointless to try to fulfil them in a way. Because now you know the ending. Plus that end is here and now – it’s here already.”

I’ll leave you with that. If I don’t get the chance to say it again before I go, then thank you for being such wonderful clients 🙂 I will see you very soon – in July,

Love,

xDaisy

***The Fullness of the Moon***

Hello 🙂

As I reminded people on FB – don’t panic, it’s simply Full Moon today! The energies I could feel in the group consciousness during my IAM meditation this morning were intense: dense and sort-of conflicted. That’s when I remembered the moon. It really does have an effect. Actually, the more you dance your natural dance into what you are, the more sensitive you are to these things. And yet the less they actually pull you in. It’s interesting.

I also wanted to remind you of when I will be away. It’s less than 2 weeks now to my departure! It will fly by though, and I will be back with you before you know it 🙂 I will be on tour with Amma in America from the 3rd June – 16th July.

I was touched this week by a rather beautiful cat, who decided to help me during a healing session with a client. It was towards the end of the healing and I could feel a shift coming within my own solar plexus. Although this is often the manner in which my system senses (sees psychically), I was unsure whether it was my own conditioning or the client’s at that point. But I was guided to begin the catch up phase of the healing. As I placed my hands on the client, she convulsed several times in a release from her solar plexus. That answered my query 🙂 Then the cat jumped up and straight onto her solar plexus. He proceeded to do that ultra-cute thing cats do with their feet – padding them up and down on the client’s stomach, for quite some time. I was mesmerised by the cat’s energy and his care, and by the whole unfolding situation.

I would like to write more, but am wanting my bed after a deep Adyashanti transmission today via video (I am part of an Adya group here in London), followed by a profound healing session I just gave. I am feeling blessed to have this job and this life…

Sweet dreams,

Love,

xDaisy

Pilgrimage to Paradise

Hello sunshine lovers, energy enthusiasts and helpers of mankind,

My title refers to an old trance tune on Sourmash records, which was helpful in bringing me towards spirit in my teenage years. In a deeper way, I am referring to what I am about to do in June: I am very excited – and honoured – to have been given a staff position on Amma’s US tour! I will be volunteering in the clothing boutique. It’s funny because I was thinking of ways I might get into the feminine and embody that more, and then I got given this position 🙂 Feel free to ask me any questions you may have about what I will be doing or what the tour involves.

Are any of you going to be there, or thinking of going to a couple of stops? Here are the stops in full:-

Seattle, WA

June 4-5 Public Program

San Ramon, CA

June 7-9 Public Program

June 10-12 Retreat

June 12 Evening Public Program

Los Angeles, CA

June 14-16 Public Program

Santa Fe, NM

June 18-19 Public Program

June 20-22 Retreat

June 22 Evening Public Program

Dallas, TX

June 24-25 Public Program

Chicago, IL

June 27-29 Public Program

New York, NY

July 1-3 Public Program

Boston, MA

July 5-6 Public Program

Washington, DC

July 8-9 Public Program

Toronto, ON

July 11 Public Program

July 12-14 Retreat

July 14 Evening Public Program

I will be away from the 3rd June to the 16th July without internet or phone access, so please do get all your sessions in before then.

I have been re-doing the Art of Meditation with Adyashanti this week and wanted to share some of the wisdom with you. Adya discusses the fact that awakening is not just an initial moment in which the I falls away, but it is also an ongoing unfolding. And for that part, meditation is crucial. In this sense, he disagrees with non-dual teachings – and I think rightly so – which tend to discourage practice (albeit covertly). Even if it is not said outright, the implication in many non-dual teachings is that practice is not all that important. Yet I simply haven’t met anyone who is deeply embodied as their true nature who has not engaged deeply in ongoing practices. So from my point of view, I wholeheartedly agree with Adyashanti on this important and often perplexing point. Please do offer your experiences with this, as I would be interested in them.

Bye for now, and do call or contact me before the 3rd June,

Love,

xDaisy

Amma Documentary and other news

Hello 🙂

I hope you are out enjoying the sunshine 🙂 I want to share this documentary about Amma by Shekar Kapur. It’s not often that you get to hear Amma talking for long, so a real treat. It may give you goosebumps!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gRxtKANEfwc&feature=youtu.be

Please do make the most of sessions now, as I will be on tour with her from the 3rd June for 6 weeks, as I mentioned. I will update you with more exact details when they are published. I will not be able to give healing during this time because I will be on staff and without internet connection.

I have felt so inspired by sessions with you recently…I feel I have the best job in the world 🙂 I have come to see that creativity is often channelled, as a result of a session with one of you (an author). Actually Amma talks about this in a deeper way in the documentary! In the session, I saw that this person was channelling her books from the astral realm, where beings there assist her. This is similar to what Ric Weinman has said about J.K. Rowling: that she dreams the Harry Potter stories (influenced by a ‘real’ place in a different realm – see Quinstel below) and then writes them out in her waking state. It was amazing the detail I was able to see with this client in terms of sensing, and I believe that was in part due to her creative openness connecting with mine, because of what creativity gives us all access to. I wanted to take her to Quinstel directly (a kind of Divine university we access via Vortex class transmissions) and it seemed to be going well, but then we got to a door that was locked. I realised it was because she needed the transmission from a Vortex class to gain the key to the lock. Fascinating work 🙂 There have been many other wonderful sessions, but I won’t go on 😉

Here is the link for Mukti’s events (Adyashanti’s wife), in England in August, which it’s best to book in advance:-

http://www.adyashanti.org/index.php?file=mukti_events&eventid=1245

You can still get on the waiting list for the silent retreat in England with Adyashanti here:-

https://www.adyashanti.org/index.php?file=waitlist_reg&eventid=1221

I received the grace to be invited to satsang with Pamela Wilson on Friday, last minute. I found it very powerful. At the end, I couldn’t resist suddenly hugging her and she said a very sweet thing to me: “I enjoyed your presence. Silent and full”. So there you go: when you’re deliberating about sitting in the front row at these things – do it! Here is her site. She is back in London in August:-

http://www.pamelasatsang.com/

See you soon,

Love,

xDaisy

Bank Holiday Deal :-) Half Price: Monday and – EXTENDED – Tuesday!

Hello 🙂

I hope this email finds you well. I am so happy to be able to offer you Vortex Healing U-AP level at a reduced rate this Bank Holiday and – EXTENDED – Tuesday 🙂

I will be offering distance sessions via Skype or phone on Monday and Tuesday half price, £45. This deal includes pre-booked sessions.

Much Love,

Daisy

Easter Deal :-) Half Price Sessions Friday and Monday!

Hello 🙂

Happy lunar eclipse and Happy Easter 🙂

I will be offering distance sessions via Skype or phone on Good Friday and Easter Monday for half price, which is £45.

Please let me know if you would like this, and if you do not hear back please phone or text me.

Much Love,

Daisy

This Love

Hello 🙂

This is a new day,

This is a brand new day!

Your crimson tide washes over my heart,

This Love,

This Love…

I wish I could more accurately translate to you the sense of doing the 1000 Names this morning. It leaves a perfume, a scent, of such depth and bliss…and ultimately pure non-separation, oneness. If you are not doing a regular practice, I highly recommend starting today. Even if you only do a 15 minute meditation in the morning or at night, you will find that over time you begin to see clearly again, the way you used to as a child. To see things AS THEY ARE. What a huge privilege…! In fact, Amma has said:-

I didn’t come to teach anyone anything. I came to remind you of a song you once knew, but have since forgotten  ~ Amma

It’s quite a statement coming from an avatar, the one kind of being who actually can truly teach, directly, and with acute accuracy. So we can see then, that this enlightenment game is really not about teachers or teachings. It’s about something else entirely… I would dearly love to hear your thoughts on what it is about, so please write to me about this 🙂 Also, please do join me on Facebook. Search for Daisy Nokes. I know I went through a privacy period, but that is over now.

How did you fair over Shivaratri on Monday, followed by the solar eclipse and Picses supermoon on Tues and Wed? Yes, that much did happen! The Shiva day, from my point of view, is about stillness manifesting into creation (sometimes in a variety of ways 😉 and the solar eclipse creates a deep purging of old pain, so that new projects can blossom. The supermoon in Picses represents the unconscious of humanity, the collective unconscious, what is being denied, coming out and releasing. I would love to hear any stories you have about Mon, Tues and Wed 🙂

If you feel you would like to join in with weekly coming-togethers of like hearted souls, just to remind you that I am going to Villa Devi in London every week to sing and chant and be with Amma devotees. It is a deeply transformative and amazing way to deepen your practices or path and to gain the sense of community. Let me know if you would like to be put on their mailing list.

Some of the results I have been getting through working with the U-AP level of Vortex Healing are remarkable. A client rang me to say that she “couldn’t feel anything” and she was concerned that she was emotionally disconnected. But when I looked into her system I could see that the work we had done together was so transformative that she had lost an entire ‘place’ or position in consciousness from which she had been living her life up until now. That is the power of this healing art combined with the way I work with Amma. I always wanted something which could actually remove issues, not just make the prison more comfortable, but actually deconstruct the prison piece by piece. Thank goodness I found Amma and Vortex Healing and that I am able to share that deconstruction with you, in you. This is the deepest gift I have ever been given.

I also facilitated a session this week in which I worked on the core position underlying back pain that my client had had for over 8 years, and with which she had been working in a variety of very helpful ways. Yet somehow the pain remained. Immeditately after the session she was able to flex her lower back again and the pain was barely noticeable! She also remarked that her voice had changed. This is something wonderful which can happen after a session, as if the person is speaking from a different place and without something ‘in the way’, that something being the issue worked on.

There was also a beautiful moment when I was doing some awakening coaching with a client and I asked her (because she was feeling a lack of clarity) what clarity meant to her. She replied simply, “Knowing my Truth and moving towards it”. I knew immediately that it was a pivotal moment for this person, because once you speak so authentically out loud the Divine hears (and you yourself hear) that and the transformation of life truly begins anew.

Ok that’s all for now. A bit of a long one – thank you for bearing with me 🙂 I feel very over-excited!

Love to you, beautiful blessed being,

Daisy

Group Vortex Healing

Hello,

How are you this rather cold day? On Sunday I was given the opportunity to facilitate a group healing on Leila Sadeghee’s Yoga Immersion here in London. It went very well indeed and I was thrilled about it! Leila commented that it felt to her like receiving an individual session, which is encouraging considering that there were around 20 people receiving the work. A lot of information came through also for people individually afterwards when they approached me with questions and comments about their experiences. All in all, it was wonderful and something I would like to continue with in the future. It was the first time since Dad died 5 years ago that I have facilitated a group and it feels good to be back in the groove of that. I would like to know if you would be interested in receiving group healing, either at a distance or in person at the venue in London EC1?

I want to share a personal healing miracle which happened last week. As some of you know, my mother and I have a challenging relationship and have had for as long as I can remember. This culminated in an argument one night recently, revolving around her disapproval of my life and my awakening path, including her speaking against Amma, which was the biggest trigger for me. The next day, I attended an Amma satsang and dedicated the sadhanas there to healing this fraught relationship. I did this again during an additional satsang that week. I also wrote a loving email to Mum, apologising for what I had said in the argument. Although Mum did not apologise or engage, something in her email response made my sensing ears prick up. She said she had had a ‘car prang’ that week, nothing serious but she was a little shaken by it. In November last year, I had a clear premonition that she would die in a head on collision with another car. I had had glimpses of this a couple of times before, but had put it down to fear in my own system. However, the premonition in November was so clear that I decided to do healing on it and I also told Mum. She did not react well, she was angry, but I felt it was the right thing to do to warn her so that her awareness might be present should the situation arise. On hearing of the recent car prang, I had the feeling that perhaps it was the dissolution of her karma by the Divine, which I have heard that Amma is capable of doing. I asked my healer this and, as we discussed it, it became clear to both of us that that was indeed the case. Of course we could both be wrong, only time will tell, but if this is true then it is a healing miracle… If this is true, then it puts a whole new light on the deeper reason for the falling out Mum and I had, and on the sheer power of the satsangs, and of Divine intervention. I personally feel blown away by this experience…

Something else which came to me this week and I wanted to share with you is that, if you want awakening in this lifetime you have to really want it, naturally, and you need to truly engage with your life and your path (dharma). None of this hiding out in non-dual getaways will do it – it doesn’t work. I tried it for years, and I see a lot of people trying to do it that way, but what happens is you get stuck and believe you are ‘there’, even if that means ‘nowhere’ (which, if you look at the ego, is actually still trying to get somewhere). Many of the so-called teachers of non-duality etc. in London and around the world are not where they think they are in terms of awakening and embodiment (I am not talking about Tony Parsons here). It is not very difficult to see this if you sense directly into their consciousness. Another way is to look at how they avoid life or their conditioning, or at how they treat others and behave. Often such ‘teachers’ are not really embodying the Truth that they have glimpsed or awoken to. That means that as a student / participant they can’t really help you. Looking at someone like Adyashanti for example, it is clear and evident that the embodiment there is very real and very deep. That is rare, in reality.

Just to remind you that, as I explained in my last newsletter, I have received guidance from the Divine on my price per session, which is now £90 for 1 & 1/2 hours.

Wishing you well,

Love,

Daisy

Mother Meera in London + other news

Hello 🙂

Is anyone seeing Mother Meera in London at the moment? I went last night and am still feelings the effects 🙂 One can feel when she is about to enter the hall because a deep silence falls through the consciousness of the room. As I sat with friends there in great silence, the meditation was totally natural…and this is the opportunity presented with this Master. I was not trying to do anything or control anything. I was simply sitting. One realises in this way, what true Stillness is. Because the mind can be talking, or not, one can be feeling, or not, and still awareness is fully present and remaining…simple and complete within itself. Then one knows “I am that”, without words, or ego, or anything at all. During the darshan, I noticed that I did not feel any separation from Mother Meera as I approached her and no sense that she was ‘above’ etc. (a big fixation in my conditioning). When I looked into her eyes there was still some remaining ego consciousness, and as I relaxed that fell away and there was only freedom…

It is easier once one has done the various Veil classes in Vortex Healing or woken up on one’s own / via another tradition or modality. But even if one has had only glimpses of freedom, any glimpse is the entirety. Either way, one sees at a certain point in spiritual maturity, that there is no need to leave that awareness for any reason. I don’t mean cling onto it, I just mean there is no need to go back into business with life after that: ‘I’ Vs the world etc. Because one knows that there is really no self, no I, that is separate from life itself.

Something very interesting which Ric (Vortex founder) wrote to us about, is that issues often come in pairs: for example, the ‘victim’ will also have the ‘victimiser’. One may well only be identified with one of these, but the other ‘silent partner’ will hold the primary position in place. So it is a good idea to work on both. I don’t want to overload you though! Each and every session is a deep deep dip into the freedom that you are, and a radical dissolving of what you are not.

I have received new guidance from the Divine on my price per session: this is now £90 for 1 & 1/2 hours.

As I was sitting in Costa waiting for friends before Mother Meera yesterday, it occurred to me that there is another and equal intuitive way of being to the process I described last week. Sometimes, ‘tuning in’ – especially when it is really checking (which comes from fear) – is not the best way. Intuition is natural, arising without the me getting involved. Upon perceiving this, I began to wonder what intuition was naturally speaking to me, regarding a particular situation in my life without tuning in – simply the natural, nature way…? What I found was, I got the same response as when I did it the other way. Sometimes, it is that one of these ways is better for one person and the other for the next person, and sometimes each way will be helpful for the same person but at different times. The thing about it is, you need to be clear enough in terms of having had some glimpse at least of freedom (awakeness), so that you are not coming entirely from the me sense, the ego, when attempting to follow your intuition. Practise is the best way and simply the living of life. I don’t usually recommend going to psychics because many of them are less clear than you are in their sensing of your situation, and it also tends to create dependency rather than freedom and empowerment. If you really trust a person’s intuition then it may be wise to follow what they recommend, but that trust needs to be really genuine, which could happen if you can naturally sense the integrity and awareness in that person’s system.

That’s all for now. I hope things are deepening for you,

Love,

Daisy

Trust YourSelf, Trust the Deeper Intuition

Hello,

How are you? I hope this email finds you well.

Is anyone doing The Art of Meditation with Adyashanti at the moment? It is going beautifully I must say.

It has taken me a while to write this time due to a deep pull into Embodiment. Part of this draw (which looks human and messy by the way, not a ‘nice’ spiritualised ideal) has revealed the realisation that I will not be continuing with psychotherapy. Although I love the way in which my rigorous training moves now in my healing work with you, and although I will be continuing with Equine Assisted Therapy which is pure joy, working as a therapist is not for me.

I went through a natural process to get to this life changing conclusion, which I want to share with you, so that you can be empowered by it in your own choice making processes. As you know, there are conditionings in us which are so powerful that they can take years to work through and which dictate much of our lives as they are now. So, how do we become clear in the midst of all that sticky, forceful and destructive stuff when making an important decision? This is where intuition goes from being a ‘nice-to-have’ add-on that makes life more interesting, to being the place from which you live your life, simply because it is the expressive aspect of Truth itself.

To share some of my process with this: I had become convinced that I had to do an MA in psychotherapy and believed that this movement was coming from Truth itself. So I set about visiting universities and making applications etc. Before sleeping one night, I did the 300 Names (an Amma practice) in bed, as I sometimes do. At 5 30am I woke up bolt upright, with the sudden sense “What am I doing? I am not doing an MA!” At the time I decided to shelve this, thinking I couldn’t be clear in the space I was in at that moment. In the morning, I went to the forest (Highgate Woods) and sat for many hours in deep contemplation and meditation about the MA. I repeated this in my bedroom a couple more times in the proceeding days. Each time, I received the same clear answers. The key was that I had to wait…..

Here is my suggested way:-

First, contact Truth within very deeply and stay there (I suggest meditation for this). Then ask a very specific question towards whatever you sense as that Divine (Truth) within, whether that be Amma, true Self, a deity etc. And then, wait……. Don’t go for that reflex which wants to grab your attention and is pulling at you. The Truth never needs to pull, and doesn’t actually move at all. Listen, sense and be open for what doesn’t move. Let the true answer reveal itself in that place, in it’s own time and by it’s own terms. Adyashanti has called this “the knowing which arises from not knowing”. Patience, humility and courage are important here. In this way, you touch what is you and simultaneously beyond you. It is the impersonal becoming the personal, and is also free from both of these definitive boxes.

Another observation, which may be of use to those of you who experienced trauma of any kind in your infancy and early years, is that what is called dissociation in psychotherapy is on the other levels of us a deep energetic twist in the heart. It is where the child has twisted to get away from something unbearable (abandonment, violence, sexual invasion or any other kind of abuse trauma). This twist then ripples into the pericardium muscle fascia and pulls on the nerves in the neck, sometimes causing burning and pain, and also often interferes with the ears and hearing. So problems can be present in any or all of these areas, though the root is emotional-karmic-genetic. Once I had deepened into the emotional pain behind the dissociative patterning in me one day (triggered by the upcoming ending after 3 years with my therapist), and cried a lot, I could actually hear far more clearly the next day and my neck was totally relaxed and opened. Auspiciously, I happened to have a cranial sacral session booked with a friend that day, which further helped 🙂

Last but not least, do you or anyone you know want to go on a transformational yoga retreat? If so, I can highly recommend one here: http://www.thepracticesoffreedomandwellbeing.com

Bye for now,

Love,

Daisy