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Posts tagged ‘quietness’

Journey Into The Heart

Hello 🙂

How are you?

I am well and enjoying the build-up to my trip to be with Amma in India tomorrow 🙂 I will have to make this newsletter very brief and a little speedy I’m afraid.

I will be away from tomorrow 27th Nov – 22nd Dec. Please note that I will have limited digital access while on the ashram, but you can try me on WhatsApp, Messenger and email.

I would love to hear any stories about your experiences of Amma’s recent visit to Surrey if you would like to share them. I had an absolutely wicked time! Just loved it! And through our seva (selfless service) in the massage area, our team made £7000 for Amma’s charity ‘Embracing The World’ 🙂 In case you didn’t know (since it is a unique attribute, as far as I know) Amma’s entire organisation is run without anyone being paid. No money which comes in goes to any person within the organisation. All work is carried out voluntarily and for free, with people donating their valuable attention, effort and time to make all the incredible things which Embracing The World achieves possible. This means that everything generated can go directly to assist people living in poverty, orphaned, hit by natural disasters, homeless, in need of life-saving surgery – the list goes on and on. Particularly impressive is Amma’s work to empower women in India by giving them grants to start their own businesses, after learning that poverty is best alleviated through women generating income.

www.embracingtheworld.org

Some exciting events coming up:-

Bromley ashram will be opening some time in the New Year. We are all working hard to make this possible 🙂 When it is up and running there will be satsangs, talks and all kinds of activities going on there. It feels very special for Amma to have a centre in the UK at last, after decades of trying to find a place 🙂

I advise booking now for Adyashanti in London for a very rare satsang on the 16th Aug next year. See ‘Alternatives’ or ‘EventBrite’ sites. Adya is also doing retreats in both Holland and Woldingham (Surrey) just before this, and you can enter the waiting list for these here: www.adyashanti.org

There is a Foundational training in Vortex Healing® in London in February – see www.vortexhealing.com

Ok, I better finish packing! See you after the 22nd Dec, and enjoy yourselves 🙂

Lots of Love,

xDaisy

Amma Hits London Tomorrow! :-)

Hello 🙂

How are you? I am good 🙂 I have spent the day (like my other days off at the moment) helping to build the new ashram for Amma in Bromley. I love doing seva (selfless service)… 🙂 It honestly makes me happier than anything in the world. I have no idea why – lol! But I really love it. Soon the new place will be ready and will operate as the M.A. Centre for the UK, and as a community centre in between Embracing The World events.

Tomorrow Amma comes in person to Sandown Racecourse in Esher, Surrey. The final night is Friday and it’s the all-nighter. Here is all the information you need:-

www.amma.org.uk

If you haven’t yet met Amma, here is a documentary you may be interested in watching:-

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YsxZI0PBl_A&t=17s

I am still here until the 27th, when I fly to the ashram in India for 3 and a half weeks – so I will return from there on the 22nd December. Please book your sessions accordingly, as I will not be able to give sessions from the ashram this time. I will be available via WhatsApp, Messenger and email there though, but bear in mind it is rural India without Wifi, so contact will be sporadic.

If you come to Amma in Sandown this week, come and find me in the massage area where I should be for most of the 3 days. Much Love to you all 🙂

xDaisy

Devotion

Hello 🙂

How are you?

I am here in London, adjusting to the changes that my life brings, in this case the return from ashram life to city life. I don’t know if anyone remembers that seminal track by Goldie – ’Inner City Life’? That more-or-less encapsulates how it feels.

When sitting down to write about a living master, one faces a dilemma: the sense that the living presence of such a being, and the ‘experience’ (for want of a better word) of that, can never be confined to words or descriptions. It’s very hard to say anything about Amma. She both is and is not, she manifests as both form and formless in a continuous cascade. Perhaps the way in which my friends and I feel her in the most tangible way, is as Supreme Love: a Love that goes completely beyond anything imaginable, and which cuts through every vestige of the human ego, revealing the ultimate secret of this universe. If anyone is asking why I spend so much time with my spiritual teacher, this is why.

I wish I could give some kind of account of my stay with Amma in Amritapuri, but that really would just be words. You see, it’s a living thing with her. You don’t go about your day and then sit down and write your diary, and feel all good about what you’ve understood, and then go to sleep again. It’s not like that. The path with Amma is the path of action, of expression, of interaction and of an outpouring of a selflessness you had no idea was inside you, waiting to come out. This Love moves, this Silence transforms without leaving itself. This true way throws the human being into complete Mystery, not only once, but constantly. And miracles rain down upon everyone in that ashram like the monsoons. I’m aware that I sound like I’ve drunk the Kool-Aid – lol!

Those of you who have visited the ashram will know that one of the ways people deepen in their closeness with Amma and her teachings, is through sharing stories about her. I heard many extraordinary accounts while I was there this time. One never knows whether such stories are true, mythological or a version of a truth. To me, that is not ultimately the most important thing: for me, it is this unknown space…this Mystery, that such stories deepen me into which matters the most. One night, we met a new friend. As we got to know him over the course of our stay on the ashram (in saying ‘we’ and ‘our’, I am referring to Steve and I – yes, we are back together 🙂 🙂 :-)), this friend began to tell us the story of how he met Amma. The story begins before he was born. His father heard about Amma and took my friend’s sister to meet Her in Manchester in 1989. When they went for Darshan the father said to his daughter, “You are in the presence of God, you can ask anything you like.” The daughter told Amma that she wanted a little brother. Amma looked to the father and asked if he and his wife wanted another child. The father replied Yes, but that they could not, because his wife had gone through the menopause. Amma said Ok, and smiled at the daughter. A couple of months later, the mother began her periods again. Soon after this, she was pregnant. My friend was born in due course. Not long after the birth, Amma was due to visit England again. The father stayed at home with his new son (my friend), while the mother – who had never met Amma yet – and her daughter went to the program. As the mother fell into Amma’s arms for Darshan, Amma said to this woman – who she was meeting for the first time and had no information about – “Are you happy now that you have a son?” The mother burst into tears and surrendered. Hearing this story flooded me with energy rushes and goosebumps. I would never want to, or try to, prove whether it is true or not. I don’t know that. All I can say is that the sense of resonance throughout my entire being upon hearing it was overwhelming, and that the feeling of reality, realness, hitting-the-mark – whatever you want to call it – opened up within me in a profound way.

This actually leads me into something else I wanted to share with you. People often ask me about intuition, and feel that I have some expertise in this area. I don’t know about that, but I did discover something more about the whole thing when I was with Amma in the ashram. I hope that including this diary entry might assist you in your own journey with with your sense of intuition / instinct.

12/9/18

The answer came in Darshan today. There was no need to tune-in, check, ‘ask Amma inside’, or anything like that. When I was relaxed and open – simple, and in my being, one could say – I felt during Amma’s long embrace that [X]. It didn’t come mentally. It didn’t come through any kind of asking. It didn’t come in a big bang. It came through the feeling body. This relative truth came as a sort-of feeling, a kind-of sense, which ran like a river through my heart. So, yes, as [Y] reminded me that time: trust the truth that comes naturally, like a gift.”

That’s all for now. If you would like to book a session or talk about anything, please call, message or text me.

Much Love,

xDaisy

“The silent abyss beyond all knowing” ~ Adyashanti

Hello 🙂

How are you?

I am in the midst of a potent time in my life, between the retreat I have just completed with Adyashanti and the time I am about to spend with Amma. I feel such wonderment and gratitude about this. They are the only words I can find in this moment to express how I am feeling. I don’t know why my life is this way – so filled with Divine opportunities – and why it is not another way. I can only bow down before the Grace that brought this all here.

The way I feel from being on the 7 day silent meditation retreat with Adyashanti is that I have now put all my eggs in one basket – that of Silence. There is this abiding trust now in the wisdom of Silence itself. On the level of experience (as it could be called), the Silence has become the foreground. It is hard to give an explanation of what this means for anyone who is struggling to understand (which may be no one of course). But here is an excerpt from my diary on retreat, of a particular day when this started to open fully:-

“Something really beautiful began to happen during the Silent Sittings today. I could, and still can, see all the way through my thoughts. I experience that absolutely everything arising there is conditioning. Previously, I had been assigning Truth to many many things…… Now I see that none of this is Truth. The contraction deep in my belly when something comes up is not Truth – it is conditioning. It’s the same with the things people say to me, and what arises in me in reactivity – conditioning. None of this is Truth. I am finally free.

I don’t say this as a grand statement about enlightenment. I mean simply that I am free from the grip of my mind and my deep emotional conditioning, inasmuch as I see it for what it is. It is no longer fooling me. I see through it all in a clear way. I am free.

In a sense it could be said that in the meditations, I perceived what arose in the Silence and the Silence itself as distinct from one another. And perhaps this is why Silence is often likened to the unknown. Because it is that – Silence is unknown and unknowing everything.”

I have decided to take my upcoming time in India off work for self-care and to volunteer for Amma’s charity ‘Embracing the World’, in their efforts to care for those affected by the flooding in Kerala.

This means I will be unavailable from the 30th August to the 26th September.

I will have limited digital contact, so you are welcome to try me. But please be aware that I cannot give sessions during that time.

Wishing you love and freedom from the heart of Silence,

xDaisy

Stillness and Service

Hello,

How are you?

I am well. I wanted to let you know of two upcoming events which I am attending, to give you the chance to plan sessions if you want to:-

I will be on a silent meditation retreat with Adyashanti in England from the 11th – 18th August, and I am going to serve on Amma’s ashram in India from the 30th August – 26th September.

Much Love to you,

xDaisy

AMMA :-) :-) :-)

Hello 🙂

How are you?

I am happy and well, if tired, and now without the time to write you the email about the wonderful Manifesting Intention course which I had hoped to write. I leave to be with Amma early tomorrow morning. Many more of you wanted sessions than I had anticipated, so my time has been well spent giving these. Please bear with me on that email though; there is so much exciting stuff to share with you once I have the proper time to go through my notes.

I am thrilled about seeing my teacher! I will be with Her in Seattle, San Ramon and Los Angeles. I leave early tomorrow morning and return on the 19th June (morning). I will be engaged in seva (selfless service) while I am there and will have very limited digital access.

www.amma.org

I hope this email finds you well and enjoying life, and I very much look forward to seeing you after the 19th June.

Love,

xDaisy

Manifesting Intention

Hello 🙂

How are you? I am very well indeed, and writing to you from the airport lounge as I begin my epic journey of many parts back to London, from the Vortex Healing course in Virginia Beach which just ended.

I land late on the 24th, and am offering sessions from 25th to 31st May (before Amma for 2 weeks). Please WhatsApp, text or call to book for this period or for when I am back (19th June onwards).

The feeling of bliss and happiness is profound…really profound. If any of you are on the Vortex trajectory and thinking about stepping off, I strongly encourage you to persevere with courses. Awakening to Divinity (last one) and Manifesting Intention (this one) are hard to describe they are so good!! Just Wow……and very few words. I feel so grateful to the Divine, to Amma, to my Vortex family and to Ric, for facilitating this course. The sense of awakeness is ever deeper and deeper. That’s the most amazing thing. And this sense of happiness and bliss arising from within, regardless of situations, amazes me… Everything is so soft…

I could just hug and kiss everyone! Probably not advisable though, in an airport lounge.

I am so looking forward to sharing this new energy of Manifesting Intention with you 🙂 🙂 🙂  Must go for now, but simply wanted to connect with you all and share this…this – whatever this is, in some way. I will write some coherent stuff soon. There’s a lot of new and interesting information with this course.

Much Love,

xDaisy

Sessions in London :-)

Hello 🙂

How are you? I am well. Integrating the Awakening to Divinity Vortex Healing course I just took in America. Then it was my Birthday, hence why it has taken so long to write. I wanted to let you know that I will now be in London until December. Please make the most of this time to have sessions in person. I will have the venue in Barbican on Wednesdays. After December I will be in London 3 days per week as usual. Distance sessions are available at any time.

Obviously the most important thing to mention is that Amma will soon be with us! Please note that the program is being held in Surrey, so it is advisable to get accommodation.

Amma’s London Visit Dates: Friday 17 & Saturday 18 November

Sandown Park Racecourse, Esher KT10 9AJ

I was contemplating today, the role of self-judgement and judgement of others in locking conditioning more in place – because that’s what it does. In my experience, personally and professionally, everything is karmic – it’s all about cause and effect, actions which create consequences, usually stretching back beyond the place we can even see. This karma has a momentum, which is strong, and it will play out in some way – even if a being like Amma comes in and softens it greatly. So the best we can do is to release the energy of it and reduce it using any tools we have, wake up inside of it, and serve selflessly. There’s no point in getting dark about it and self-criticising, because that doesn’t help, and if anything this actually makes the experience of what’s happening worse. I hope this helps you with your process.

What I want to say initially about this Vortex course is that there is no sense of separation anymore. It’s incredible… For those of you who follow these kinds of things, it is the biggest shift since Core Veil, which for me was 12 years ago. It’s not that nothing has shifted in between, but the enormity of what has changed I could only compare to the Core Veil movement, yet it’s more total. As I was saying to a client today though, it’s not that everything’s perfect, it’s not ego-gratifying – which is what we all secretly continue to hope that awakening will be. At the same time, there is no separation. What a strange life life is living!

I will write properly once I am more integrated. Please do call or text if you would like an appointment – I would love to see you 🙂

Love,

xDaisy

Grace

Hello 🙂

How are you? I am very well. This past week, as I was walking across Victoria station and thanking the universe for orchestrating my journey from East Sussex perfectly, I uttered audibly, “It’s Grace.” Then it hit me – but everything is. Even after awakening there can be this tendency to think of Grace as coming from ‘outside’. As the realisation dawned on me, I saw that it’s not like that at all. There is no outside. Everything is Grace. The intensification of oneness that followed stopped me in my tracks (sorry London commuters!). The truth is, Grace isn’t ‘given to us’ when we’re good, because Grace is the very substance of everything. It’s what we are and what everything is, pre-existing whether we think we are good or bad in any moment.

I will be in London giving sessions Thursday (tomorrow) – Saturday, for the last time before America. Please call or text to book. Otherwise please feel free to book a distance session at any other time. As a reminder, I will be away in America for further training in Vortex Healing from the 11th – 23rd October (that’s next week). NB I will have very limited digital access at that time.

If, like me, you want to see Amma in Europe at a few places and haven’t booked or arranged things yet, do so soon because places are getting booked up and prices are rising. I am only just getting onto it now.

The Adyashanti retreat in Surrey next August is now open for registration. It’s 7 nights – a special treat nowadays 🙂 I highly recommend this silent meditation retreat, which I feel is second only to being with Amma in person. Here is the link (do it now if you want to, because they always get overbooked):-

https://www.adyashanti.org/index.php?file=retreatsdetails1&eventid=1366

I leave you with this from Marlies Myoku Cocheret, whose recent email moved me deeply:-

Please take a moment to realize that everything can drop at any moment. This body, this mind, this or that feeling or sensation – not in your time, but Her time. Where do you want to put your attention when the moment comes…..which is every moment?!”

~ Marlies Myoku Cocheret

Love,

xDaisy

As Deep As Peace

Hello 🙂

You are as deep as peace. Yes, you. I feel I want to share this truth, following the online meditation group I just did with Marlies Myoku Cocheret. If you would like to participate in this opportunity for Silence, check the calendar section of her website. The groups are by donation each Wednesday, at 6pm UK time.

http://www.marliescocheret.com

Something else I learned this week from this wonderful offering is that there is no difference in the Beingness here with eyes open or eyes closed. This may sound obvious, and I ‘knew’ it before, but I actually experienced and perceived it today. That is the difference between truth and fiction. It’s an incredible thing that this Being that we all are, this one thing, is here all the time and never goes anywhere. We run to many places searching for safety, but that is only a relative safety, meanwhile true safety does exist in one place. The discovery of this true safety is the end of fear, so much so that fear can still arise – is allowed to be what it is – within this deep vastness of the One, which could also be called Beingness or truth. And no one has to do anything to get to this recognition. I personally really enjoy meditation and all kinds of spiritual practices, yet no one factually needs to do that to see what they are, right now, in this moment. All that is required is seeing reality as it is, without allowing the Self to be fettered by objects ‘outside’ or ‘inside’ (objects meaning everything you can think of).

I would also like to share how much I am enjoying Rupert Spira, whom I went to see at Alternatives on Monday. Apologies for not telling you sooner, I didn’t remember that I was going until the day. Here is his website for more details (for example, an upcoming retreat on the 3rd December):-

http://www.non-duality.rupertspira.com

This coming week, I will be in London Monday – Wednesday inclusive (i.e., 25th – 27th September). Please call or text to book. At other times distance sessions are available.

A reminder of Amma’s visit on the 17th – 18th November (Devi Bhava – 18th night). Please note that AMMA IS NOT IN LONDON this year. She is in Esher, Surrey, at Sandown Race Course. You will do well to book accommodation, as the venue is not very easily accessible from London. See the following site for details:-

http://www.amma.org.uk

Enjoy your week,

Love,

xDaisy

Sessions in London: Saturday – Tuesday

Hello 🙂

How are you? I am well, and enjoying country life here in East Sussex. Children are playing in the background, out in the sun, and I feel such peace in my heart. I really don’t have much to report or offer in words today, but wanted to let you know that I will be in London Saturday – Tuesday. The sessions I have left are on Monday and Tuesday, at a home in Camberwell where I am house-sitting. Distance sessions are available at any other time.

Please note that I will be continuing training in Vortex Healing® in America from the 11th – 23rd October, at which time I will not be offering sessions and will have limited digital access of any kind.

I leave you with this, which a friend just sent me from Adyashanti:-

You do not need to be perfect to be whole, you do not need to be worthy to be complete…

You are not here to be perfect. No one is perfect. You are here to love, and to love well.  ~ Adyashanti

Love,

xDaisy

Love

Hello 🙂

How are you? I am well 🙂 enjoying swimming in the sea, doing Acro Yoga in the countryside and giving distance sessions 🙂 I will be in London giving sessions Fri – Sun inclusive, so please call / text to book. Otherwise distance healing is always available 🙂

I finally have the time and space to reflect on the US Summer Tour with Amma, which I did half of this year, freestyling from San Ramon (in Northern California) to Dallas, Texas. I must say that this was the best time I have ever had with Amma… I had previously thought that my ‘Amma heydays’ had passed (during my first Summer tour in 2002, and on staff last year), but with Amma life just gets better! I think that’s almost like reflected light bouncing off the reality that the awakening embodiment evolution we are inside of can always go deeper. I want to share with you an excerpt from my diary. This part I wrote in San Ramon, stop 1 of 4:-

‘It’s another day in paradise here. And the Silence is palpable. It sings from the birds, dances across this lake, dawns within, shining outward like a sun.

Last night I had Darshan with Amma. I prayed in the queue several times, and the power of that prayer made me fall asleep, so that the helpers kept needing to wake me up. The unconsciousness in me wanted to drag me down and numb me out. My prayer was this: “I realise now that my longing for ‘x person’ is truly my longing for Divinity. Please remove any and everything within which says otherwise, believes otherwise, feels otherwise and is otherwise.”

When it came to the person in front of me, Amma did something she had never done in the 16 years I have been with her. As that person’s Darshan was ending – before, even – Amma reached out her hand and took mine. She then literally pulled me into her lap. It was as if she was saying, “Take my hand – I will show you how to do this.” And even deeper than that, I felt a direct pulling into Divinity. I let go in her arms. She had heard my silent prayer and answered it.’

This part I wrote after my final stop in Texas, during a layover in Calgary, Canada:-

‘Although what I’ve learned is way beyond words, I’m going to attempt to sum it up.

1) I experience a Love now that is a Love beyond love… It is deeper and clearer than any other love in my life. And everything, everything, can be done through this Love. Through and as this Love. I don’t have to go into analysing, into ‘hard truth’ or into separation of any kind. Those who told me to love someone less (basically) were never right, and deep down I knew that they weren’t. That way was wrong for me – I needed something higher. And that’s what Amma has revealed to me on this tour. From this True Love, everything can be accomplished. All barriers can melt. All pain can be healed, and all fear. Being honest and clear about what I really love, which is also what I really want, allows everything… I’m no longer confused – I see what’s real. And it’s so, so beautiful…

2) Amma is, and has always been, my teacher. She reveals everything to me, in time. It’s a flow…

3) Slow down. Slow down. Slow down.

4) Go beyond. When I get caught in the victim, in misery, in despair – simply go beyond. There is literally no value in wallowing there. Perhaps do some seva, do sadhana, do sports – it could be anything really. But dwelling doesn’t help, and it isn’t loving or valuable.’

It’s interesting to re-read these expressions and to see how differently things have played out back here at home than I thought they would at that time. It’s been way more challenging than I could have expected. The direct presence of a True Master is a precious thing. Back in ‘the world’ I find it harder to live out what I know. On one hand it is happening anyway, because it is the truth. But worldly life is far more messy and gritty than we bargain for when we are with the master. If we don’t follow through on what we know to be true though, on that deep discovery (or perhaps recovery is a better word), then the time on ‘retreat’ was essentially of little value. It is a high challenge to be what we really are in the world rather than in the ashram / monastery. It is not the path for everyone, yet it is my path, and I think for many of you also.

In case you don’t have these, here are the dates for Amma’s Europe Tour:-

http://www.amma-europe.org/ammas-tour.html

Enjoy your week 🙂

Love,

xDaisy

Outside of Mind

Hello 🙂

How are you?

I would like to share a poem I wrote this morning after sadhana, and inspired ever more by this deep practice (of the 1000 Names and the IAM technique from Amma).

What a violent thing

To bring mind in here!

To this sacred place,

This holy Silence.

 

Outside of mind

Lies all things,

And all non-things.

Your cascading lights

Cannot fool me anymore,

For I have found something

Here, exquisite.

 

In these long halls

Of Silence upon Silence,

I meet the innermost –

The maker –

The original Spark.

 

Yet She is so Silent…

So nothing,

And so everything.

 

No song-and-dance fanfare.

Simply Silence gazing,

Just gazing.

She sees it all –

Sips it all in,

And rests.

 

It is some miracle that this poem came out from me, considering that I am still in that heartbreak which I wrote to you about in February. Really it has been going on since January. The blood and the guts of this particular heartbreak are hellish. But I am ever grateful to my friends for their support, and similarly to Amma, Adyashanti, Vortex Healing and my healers. What to do? We are all in the same boat going down the stream, playing out our karma. Yet, paradoxically, this is happening right in the middle of an all-encompassing awakening embodiment evolution.

My friend Alexandra Stone was kind enough to interview me for her website, please have a look:-

http://www.alexandrastone.studio/blog/

And finally, I want to thank those of you who have been giving me such rich and powerful feedback on the sessions. When you are self-employed, the only way you really know you are doing a good job is when clients or teachers tell you so. My heartfelt thanks for bringing smiles and tears of joy to me 🙂

I have a couple of spaces left in London Sat & Sun. Also, let me know if Wed – Fri might suit you (as that is possibly when I will next be in London). In the meantime, please contact me for distance healing.

Much Love and gratitude,

xDaisy

Sessions in London: Fri (tomorrow) – Mon

Hello 🙂

I am now living in Ditchling temporarily, in a beautiful healing home full of yoga, Vortex and of course Amma, with friends 🙂 It’s stunning here… I can’t get over how lucky I am to have space, time and fire for embodiment, sadhana, self-healing and all the other things I love in life.

This is a short reminder that I will be in London this Fri – Mon inclusive. The spaces I have left are on Sunday and Monday, so please message me on WhatsApp or FB to book (or call me there / Skype.) Phone reception is terrible here, so internet is best for now. Or feel free to book a distant session on any other day.

Amma’s visit to London has been arranged now, thanks to the hard work of volunteers. She will be with us Friday 17th and Saturday 18th November (that’s the Devi Bhava) at Sandown Park Race Course. I will update you with details as they come in (they are not yet on the site).

I hope to see you in Londinium 🙂

Love,

xDaisy

London Sessions: Fri – Mon inclusive

Hello 🙂

How are you? I am well; missing you all actually, and hoping that you are getting on well. I will be in London offering sessions from Fri – Mon inclusive, so please call or text if you would like one. Internet, and even my T Mobile network (essentially all virtual communication methods) are still poor here in Rodmell village. BT are slowly fixing the problem. Hence why I cannot write as much to you as I would like, nor answer you as promptly as I would prefer. However, when it comes to distance sessions, everything works. Make of that what you will 🙂

I want to share the most beautiful passage from Adyashanti. We read it out loud in our Adyashanti group and it drew tears. I really haven’t ever met another person who can communicate through words what it is truly like to wake up and embody that awakening, in such an open, accurate and rich way. I suggest reading this very slowly:-

       “This inner revolution is the awakening of an intelligence not born of the mind but of an inner silence of mind, which alone has the ability to uproot all of the old structures of one’s consciousness. Unless these structures are uprooted, there will be no creative thought, action, or response. Unless there is an inner revolution, nothing new and fresh can flower. Only the old, the repetitious, the conditioned, will flower in the absence of this revolution. But our potential lies beyond the known, beyond the structures of the past, beyond anything that humanity has established. Our potential is something that can flower only when we are no longer caught within the influence and limitations of the known. Beyond the realm of the mind, beyond the limitations of humanity’s conditioned consciousness, lies that which can be called the sacred. And it is from the sacred that a new and fluid consciousness is born that wipes away the old and brings to life the flowering of a living and undivided expression of being. Such an expression is neither personal nor impersonal, neither spiritual nor worldly, but rather the flow and flowering of existence beyond all notions of self.

         So let us understand that Reality transcends all of our notions about Reality. Reality is neither Christian, Hindu, Jewish, Advaita Vedanta, nor Buddhist. It is neither dualistic nor non-dualistic, neither spiritual nor nonspiritual. We should come to know that there is more Reality and sacredness in a blade of grass than in all of our thoughts and ideas about Reality. When we perceive from an undivided consciousness, we will find the sacred in every expression of life. We will find it in our teacup, in the fall breeze, in the brushing of our teeth, in each and every moment of living and dying. Therefore we must leave the entire collection of conditioned thought behind and let ourselves be led by the inner thread of silence and intuitive awareness, beyond where all paths end, to that place of sacredness where we go innocently or not at all, not once but continually.

         One must be willing to stand alone – in the unknown, with no reference to the known or the past or any of one’s conditioning. One must stand where no one has stood before in complete nakedness, innocence, and humility. One must stand in that dark light, in that groundless embrace, unwavering and true to the Reality beyond all self, not just for a moment but forever without end; for then that which is sacred, undivided, and whole is born within consciousness and begins to express itself. That expression is the salvation of the whole. It is the activity of an inward revolution brought down into time and space.”

~ Adyashanti, The Way of Liberation, pg 37

I will leave you to digest that. I would love your comments, if you have some.

Much Love,

xDaisy

Walking in the Footprints of the Divine

Hello 🙂

How are you?

I am well, and thoroughly enjoying life in Rodmell. I was reflecting the other day that life here, each step, is like walking in the footprints of the Divine. When I do sadhana, when I walk on the South Downs, when I see my friends…there’s this sense of the One in a very potent way. It actually feels a bit like being high all the time, no matter what is going on inside or outside. I think it must be the way that nature reflects ones own Divinity continuously, right into the bones of the body. Feeling happy, content and easy becomes normal. In a more specific example: whereas normally I see with my eyes closed (as with sessions), when I do the 1000 Names or the IAM in my bedroom, I see with my eyes open: there are bright white lines of energy everywhere – the natural energy of creation.

I had an insight during a session this week, which may help to illuminate how and why Vortex Healing works – a question many of you have asked me. As I was channelling into someone, all of a sudden I perceived that the energy was literally saturated with timeless presence…to the point that it even was that presence, and as I tracked it I could see that this was infusing the conditioned pattern within this person. Then it was that very ’embrace’ itself which dissolved the conditioning. At the time, there were no thoughts or reflections, only a sense of total oneness. But afterwards I began to reflect that (presumably) the reason for this kind of saturation process is that the energies we use in Vortex arise directly from Divinity; I don’t see how anything else could have that depth of effect on patterning. Another way to look at it is that presence takes conditioning out of time. The only way the conditioning seems real is because it is time-based – it is history, it is not presently occurring. So when that aspect of time is released by the presence-suffused energy, then the conditioning has no option but to collapse back into the timeless – into eternity – i.e., absolute presence.

I would also like to share my experience with Mother Meera on Tuesday morning. Did any of you get to see her? I know some of you have written to me about it. Others of you, please do write with your experiences as I’m always interested to read them. Every time I see this being it is very different to the last. What I experienced this time was more in the touch than in the eye gazing itself – i.e., the part where you kneel in front of Mother Meera and she touches your head. When this happened, what I felt was everything within and in my external life align into a single point. Suddenly everything was fulfilled and made sense, but without the mind being involved at all. I suppose that’s one reason why I still go to her: to re-perceive what is taking place through my bodymind as Divinity all the time, yet often going unnoticed. It is without destination or reason, yet it is the only thing that’s truly real.

I am planning to write to you about my sacred time with Amma, but it is still percolating. I would like to highlight one thing, though, which she kept on repeating: her request is that we all plant trees, and especially encourage children to do so. This is in order to preserve nature.

Next week I will be in London giving sessions on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. Please message or call me (preferably) if you would like one. Distance sessions are available sooner than that of course.

See you soon I hope,

Love,

xDaisy

Contemplation in the Sun

Hello 🙂

How are you?

First of all, I want to let you know that I will be in London on Wednesday this week in the Barbican. I need the rest of the week to sort out my housing situation in Brighton, which needs turning around within literally 7 days. Skype sessions are available though, of course.

I had one of those moments today, where I was between work (equine assisted therapy and a little job I do for a friend in London) and I stepped out into the sun in the garden where I was. I was immediately struck by the ordinary beauty of things. Simply the other buildings, the music from a party somewhere in the background, and the sky. Finally I could stop for a while, and I did. My mind began to chatter and then to fade, melting into my heart as often it does. It felt so good to feel, to be barefoot on the ground and to be able to loaf for an hour, with nothing to do! I felt so free… Silence pervaded completely. Eventually a thought came: What if I spent the rest of my life just being free? Something opened wider within, in this contemplation. I mean, what if any of us simply chose inner freedom, true peace, right now – and for every ‘now’ forever? I am well aware that this makes no sense in a way! But can you feel into what I’m saying? In other words, what if you, reading this right now, never ever left whatever realisation you have had about the true nature of what you are?

The next thought that came was, What would that take? I saw that it would require a willingness to relinquish all future plans. I also saw I would need to never leave what I know and to never believe or follow through on another thought / piece of negativity. It was humbling…to say the least.

Anyway, I wanted to share this exploration with you now, in hindsight, to see if you resonate with it or have perhaps had a similar kind of insight too? 🙂 Please do write with your comments on this.

Love,

xDaisy

London this week: today, Friday and Saturday

Hello,

How are you? A short note to say that for London sessions, today and Sat are now full this week. But there are a couple of spaces left on Friday. Distance sessions are always available of course, via Skype.

I also wanted to share this video with you. I never tire of Amma’s Swami Dayamrita. In particular it is his integrity, authenticity and humility which really touch me. They are rare qualities in people I have found. Let me know your feelings on this interview. Mine are very passionate!

SOULJOURNS – SWAMI DAYAMRITA, AMMA’S SENIOR DISCIPLE

SOULJOURNS – SWAMI DAYAMRITA, AMMA’S SENIOR DISCIPLE

Welcome to Souljourns and to the amazing story of a former atheist, a well educated man who came to know of Amma…

Much Love,

xDaisy

Easter Deal: Half Price on Friday & Monday :-)

Hello 🙂

I’m sorry about the short notice of this offer. I only just realised today that it is Easter this weekend. Therefore Good Friday and Easter Monday sessions are half price, £45, and will be done on Skype / phone only. This also applies to pre-booked sessions on those days.

I have a couple of spaces left this Thursday in London, so please let me know if you would like one.

Anyway, how are you?

I must say that I’m enjoying Brighton massively. The things I love the most are the sea, the beach, the South Downs and the people. They seem interested in celebrating life. There is perhaps more emphasis on sangha, friends, family, creativity, seva and sadhana. Then work is done to support lifestyle, rather than the other way round. I wish you were all here! In this sunshine, it is truly idyllic 🙂

Much Love,

xDaisy

Vibrational Reality

Hello,

The vibrational quality of reality has come into my life strongly this past week. I am talking about the sense that what we are – expressed as both formless and form – ripples outwards and touches everything. Paradoxically, this ‘vibrational reality’ is both everything and also emerges from everything – like a birth – simultaneously. And it’s not just when we are praying, meditating or having nice thoughts 😉 When we truly get this, deeply feel it, it is kind of shocking. Here it all is, broadcasting out, all the time. I would like to know, what is your sense of this?

I was at the bus stop in Camden late on Friday night, returning home from visiting my 4 year old friend and her mother and another friend. You can imagine the scene: chaotic, teaming with life, gritty, intense. I was engaged in the Adyashanti Fierce Love course I am currently doing, which involved a guided meta meditation (on my iPod). I found this meditation very difficult: to breathe in the sorrow of the world and breathe out loving kindness. Was it too exposing to do it right there, in the middle of a kind of bizarre babylon, I wondered to myself? I decided to do it anyway. Immediately, a man approached me asking for a cigarette. I replied that I was meditating. But I saw my spiritualised ego instantly: there I was, doing meta, and I basically told someone to fuck off in a very ‘nice’ way. Off went the man, and I felt sad. I let it go and continued the meditation. Within moments he was back. Suddenly, he started stroking my arm and holding it. Ordinarily I would have physically pushed him off, but something deeper stopped me. He asked, “Can you help me?” and I said “Yes” without hesitation or thought. Looking directly into his eyes now and taking out my earphones, I began to help him find a street he was looking for. Then he said, “Can I take you with me?”. There was so much longing in his eyes and deeper underneath that, his essence was shining out. “We can cuddle and watch Disney movies”, he continued. I refused and he said, “Can I kiss you?”. Again I refused and pointed him to the street he was trying to reach. He asked to kiss me again and again I said No. It may sound naive to some, but I knew what he really wanted to kiss. I knew what he really wanted to take with him. That’s an example of the movement of vibrational reality, which is a non-personal yet intimate movement. That’s the gift we are really able to give anyone, in any moment of our lives.

The way I felt during this event reminded me of a picture given to me by a client this week. He was using it to illustrate the way he felt during the recent Foundational Vortex Healing training, in which his Amma mantra was running automatically throughout.

~ Alex Grey, ‘Spiritual Energy System’ (1981)

A little reminder that I will be moving to Brighton on the 2nd April and commuting to London to give sessions each week. More on that as it unfolds. To conclude today, I thought I would share this beautiful poem which a friend sent to me having heard Adyashanti read it on the recent silent meditation retreat at Mount Madonna (California):-

There’s a thread you follow.

It goes among things that change,

But it doesn’t change.

People wonder about what you are pursuing,

You have to explain about the thread,

But it is hard for others to see.

While you hold it, you can’t get lost.

Tragedies happen, people get hurt or die,

And you suffer and get old.

Nothing you do can stop time’s unfolding.

You don’t ever let go of the thread.

~ William Stafford

Wishing you all well,

Love,

xDaisy

Self No Other

Hello,

How are you? I have had to wittle this group down due to technicalities with Yahoo, so I hope no one I’ve knocked off feels left out. I am thinking of you all with a warm and surrendered heart and wondering where life is taking you… Please do write with your stories – they are always welcome 🙂

Thank you to those of you who responded to my last email; I feel your warmth and compassion. I know some of you have been concerned and wondering how I am, so I thought I’d fill you in a little and update you on this process, hopefully in a way that speaks to you and your process too. What I am going through in its deepest essence at the moment is heartbreak. I’m sure many of you have been through this too. So unexpected and so very deep, yet at least I know I have loved fully. I have heard some people say to me that they have never been in love before, even people who are quite a lot older than I am, and (perhaps) that is saddest of all.

The process has been that through fully embracing this heartbreak, as much as I am able in my fragile humanness, there is a continuing kind of breakdown breakthrough and entering into Divinity. I want to credit here my sadhana practice, Amma, Adyashanti and Vortex Healing and the engagement in these. There was also a sudden breakthrough during a group healing I was lucky enough to be part of – many thanks Chetana and Will Thornton. I was amazed at the turnaround and transformation after receiving this healing – almost like night and day – and the subsequent sense of completely withdrawing into the Self. Here is what I wrote about it in an email afterwards:-

“I just want to share that something has completely left me since this healing. Now I feel as if there is only the Self itself, and that’s all. It’s like nothingness, but not that empty feeling of emotional vacuum at all. It’s devoid of noise, there is only Silence. Grounded in Self now.”

In my diary I reflected further:-

“So this is it. It was always here. Right here… No wonder no one could give it to me. What this is could never be bought nor sold. ‘The peace which surpasses all understanding’, now I know You. Now I know You… You are this – are me. It’s not outside, it never was outside.”

When I arose the following morning, I knew I had to move home to Brighton. It’s funny because I have just remembered in writing this, that Eckhart Tolle once said one day he simply knew he had to move to North America. Moving as Self, it’s not a question of working things out. It’s letting go without end.

I will be coming to London every week to see you for sessions, so please don’t worry about that. I expect I will move around the beginning of April. Please do not hesitate to email or call me if you have any questions about this.

With Love in my heart,

xDaisy

The Invitation Of Suffering

Hello,

Happy Shivaratri! Today Shiva’s energy pours into creation, like the sword of Truth cutting through vines of illusion, the perfect day to let go of all remaining attachments the ‘me’ is clinging to. With the addition of the full lunar eclipse coming on Sunday, you may be feeling like doing nothing rather than planning / manifesting. If so, I would really encourage you to trust this instinct, drawing awareness inside into the heart of Life. This is a fantastic time to engage in that inner dive, via sadhana, chanting, bhajans, relaxation, quietness, or whatever you feel truly drawn to.

Before I engage in the subject of my email today, I would like to announce two pieces of good news. Firstly, my close friend who I described in earlier emails is now cancer-free! Upon discovering this information from doctors, she said, “This is a miracle”. Considering that her father died suddenly in the middle of her cancer treatment, and that initially the cancer was seen as potentially fatal, I am inclined to agree with this statement. The other news is that my friend Daniel has been made into a Vortex Healing teacher. I can’t think of anybody I would rather be in this position 🙂

Now, aside from these wonderful things, I have been in the midst of deep personal suffering since the beginning of the year, the likes of which I have rarely experienced in this lifetime. The process is a mixture of internal and external, becoming so excruciating that I was basically left with three directions in which to go with it: 1) into the victim, 2) into improving my life in an attempt to fight back against things or 3) into Truth and a total embrace of what is. Once the first two were seen through, I was left with no choice but to take the third option. The way this all looked in real terms by the way, was a bloody mess. Yet I came to realise gradually that the suffering, which I had always managed to bypass in some way in the past without seeing that that was what I was doing, wasn’t going anywhere – if anything it was getting worse. That was the moment at which I was finally, genuinely, willing to lose to Life. It was at once a recognition of which of ‘us’ (though ironically there was no experience of separation) was stronger – that Life itself was simply much more immense than any remaining sense of me, and also a feeling of being crushed into oblivion by my own conditioning, or by God – honestly, I don’t even know which it was – but whatever it was, it worked. What I mean by ‘it worked’ is that suffering itself became the invitation into freedom, Truth, God, Love. I took it, and I continuously now accept that invitation on a moment to moment to moment basis. The felt sense is like a huge weight has been lifted off my body and there is a simple and profound texture of oneness pervading everything in experience. I have had many ‘drops’ into this before, but this time there is a sense of permanence (if I can use that word), of a not-coming-and-going, but a resting of oneness in / as this form.

So to save you time and struggle, I suggest this as a practice for you too. Begin to notice the nature of your suffering now: is it really something which shouldn’t be there? Can you receive it fully right now?

Listen to your gut instinct. From there you will sense your true Yes and your true No, both to these questions and more importantly to the situations, people and choices in your life.

Love,

xDaisy

Videos

Hello 🙂

How are you? Friends have been sending me videos to watch on YouTube recently and I thought I would share them with you too. So moving to watch, and relax and be connected 🙂

Here is one with Ric Weinman giving a talk in Watkins spiritual bookshop in London:-

Vortex Healing and Merlin by Ric Weinman

This is amazing, and I won’t spoil it for you!:-

Inside the Superhuman World of the Iceman

Inside the Superhuman World of the Iceman

Wim Hof first caught the attention of scientists when he proved he was able to use meditation to stay submerged …

Here is one of my absolute favourite guides, smashing through taboos and pointing to freedom through the physical:-

Awakened lovemaking – Marlies Cocheret

Awakened lovemaking – Marlies Cocheret

With love, directness, and humor, Marlies invites our spirituality down from the clouds right into this human bo…

And here are Adyashanti and Francis Bennett discussing the book I am currently reading, ‘Resurrecting Jesus’. Our local vicar wants a copy of the book, having spoken with me,  and I am going to give it to him. That was a good moment 🙂

Adyashanti & Francis Bennett on “Resurrecting Jesus” – Buddha at the Gas Pump Interview

Adyashanti & Francis Bennett on “Resurrecting Jesus” – Buddha…

Also see http://batgap.com/adyashanti-francis-bennett-resurrecting-jesus/ Adyashanti, author of The Way of Liber…

So, enjoy 🙂

Love,

Daisy

Underneath All Currents

Hello 🙂

How are you? I feel relieved that Equinox was on Wednesday (they say ‘living in a world of plenty’) and that Mercury retrograde ended on Thursday. Seeing Bjork live at the Royal Albert Hall in conjunction with these events was pure magic 🙂 I also noticed how incredibly deep the satsang went on Thursday evening at Villa Devi, which other people in the group also reported. As a reminder, we chant (amongst other things) the 108 Names the 1000 Names of the Divine Mother (Archana), sing bhajans and meditate – inspired by Amma.

I have been into Bjork’s musical genius since the age of 13, and have now seen her live 5 times over a period of 21 years. Yes – I used to be obsessed! I had a moment before I walked into the auditorium this time, which I wanted to share with you. I was in the loo putting on my lipgloss. Suddenly I felt this Silence deepen and come in through my body from the left, like a liquid. As I looked at myself in the mirror, I realised something which in words would be, “I know who I am now”. I could feel the qualitative difference from when I used to come and see Bjork – now the tangible quality of Beingness, you could say, was here and was seen as what I actually am. The freedom felt immense; the freedom of not-knowing yet knowing, I guess you could call it Realising – I am This, this Silence. And I want to specify, it isn’t knowing who I am the way people usually say that – “She knows who she is” – about someone with charisma or power, for example. Not that. And it isn’t knowing as such, in the way we normally mean that. It is genuinely perceiving my own nature and the nature of all things and beings. Without filtration, without ‘winning’, without ‘losing’, without anything… There is such relief when you know that; a deep alleviation of that nagging separate feeling that dogs you before, which I see in so many people’s eyes. The point of sharing this, apart from simply sharing, is to use myself as an example of the fact that it is true that Silence is our nature and that one can certainly discover that in a genuine way, if one is interested in doing so.

I have been enjoying the sessions with you so much recently… They have taken on a different quality, an other-worldliness, as my sensing unfolds itself into your systems and as Grace makes its mysterious appearance often. I feel honoured that you would share all of your process with me – the laughter, the tears, the cosmic side, the dark side and all the sides of you. Thank you.

To finish I would like to share with you my favourite Bjork song. I have chosen a link without a video, to enhance the listening aspect, in the hope that the song will drop deeper into your ears. When I first discovered this song, I was about 14 and I fell in love with it. I experienced all kinds of deep emotions inside my room listening to it and often crying. Nowadays I perceive it as being a piece about Stillness. Whatever it is doesn’t really matter, it is a work of art in the truest sense: full, empty, meaningful and meaning-free.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=17yWeynOfOI

Love,

xDaisy

Homecoming

Hello 🙂

How are you? I hope you are engaging in your deepest intention, and that you are well. This weather in London, though greyer today, is a continuous joy to be in…

I want to write a little more about the effects of the silent meditation retreat with Adyashanti. As he says, a spiritual experience is only valuable inasmuch as it has a lasting effect on one’s everyday life. We’ll see about that in time… For now I can say that, since the retreat, something has changed. The Silence is here, in a new way. What also feels different is that my ‘questing’ energy, my chasing after Divinity, has come to an end. That energy was in me for nearly 20 years this year. I think I believed it was necessary to have that in order to find the Divine, but I now question whether that is true. It could be that my ‘questing’ actually masked Divinity from me. Either way, in the end I got far more, and also far less really, than I bargained for. Needless to say, my relationship with Amma, Vortex Healing and Adyashanti have transformed a great deal. That is ongoing and I can’t say much about it at the moment that would make sense. The funny thing is though, even my Mum has remarked on the change in me several times since this retreat. One time she said, “You know who you are now”. That raised a smile 🙂

What I can talk about is how my work with you has changed. My sessions now feel like I am resting and creating from Silence. Then I look to my sensing abilities and begin to see how the healing energy is naturally moving. It’s like painting with Light. One of you commented that, “You are like a conduit now. You don’t even need to channel.”

Adyashanti will not come back to Europe next year due to his health problems, but I highly recommend his retreats in America if you feel drawn:-

http://www.adyashanti.org/index.php?file=retreatsschedule

I would like to close with an excerpt from my diary on the retreat, which now feels almost predictive of the aforementioned stopping:-

“I found a snake by the side of the road today. It was dead. I told it I was sorry it had died, especially since it was so young – a baby, I think. It was charcoal grey on the underbelly and brown and radiant on top. It shone somehow, with brown, like one of those sandstone rings you can get. I wonder what kind of snake it is? I don’t remember seeing a snake in England before. The first three I saw were rattlesnakes, in Arizona, when I was eleven. The only other one I’ve seen was on the Ashram. That one was so beautiful: it was moving in that classic snake dance and it was bright green. Sort-of cascading along a sandy path. Come to think of it, they were all deeply significant times when I saw those snakes… I wonder what is happening here and what wonders are in store after this retreat? 🙂 This snake was so small and thin and beautiful. And it had a tiny, soft face. I saw the beauty in death.”

I look forward to seeing you soon,

Love,

xDaisy

Oceans

Hello,

I wanted to remind you that I am back in action now and that I will be offering distance sessions via Skype or phone on Monday Bank Holiday, half price: £45. This deal includes pre-booked sessions.

The retreat was sensational… Really something unexpectedly mind-blowing. What I want to say about Adyashanti is that he is possibly the only teacher or guide I know who refuses to take authority away from anyone, even in a subtle way. I have found this to be consistently true over the 14 years that I have known him. The effect of that, is actually immense. Greater than I could have imagined before doing this silent meditation retreat. I will write more as I go. For now, I would like to share with you a poem I wrote in the middle of the retreat (hence the title of this post). However, due to formatting issues here, I am unable to do so. Therefore please contact me on daisynokes22@yahoo.com to receive it.

See you soon,

Love,

Daisy

Silent Meditation Retreat with Adyashanti

Hello,

I must say I am thrilled to have the opportunity to deepen into this great, deep silence……….who knows what will happen in this great adventure into the unknown? The inner dive, swan dive, into mystery. I will be unavailable in communication – on a silent meditation retreat – from tomorrow until the 22nd Aug, when I will be back in action.

I want to share a few more learnings from the Ammathon (as a friend rightly called it!), which I hope will benefit you. During the program in Toronto, Amma said something which really struck me. She said, “Vasanas have no power of their own. It is we who give them power.” I realised in that moment, how powerless negativity really is. Her statement also cut through, in me, the tendency to become so familiar with something, that I begin to misuse it. What I mean is that I have talked about my ‘vasanas’ (latent negative tendencies) or issues or behaviour so many times, I can forget that it is I myself who permits them to have the power they have and who actually gives that power to them. I thought this could strike a chord for many of you as well. I would add that it is our tendency to identify with such internal arisings, which is the mechanism by which we give them the most power.

The most core life story I had, the one which had most coloured my experience of reality in this lifetime, came up during the last couple of days with Amma. We save the best for last, don’t we? For me, that was the love story – the agony and the ecstasy of romantic love, and underlying that, the nagging feeling that the right relationship would fulfil me and close any remaining ‘gap’. This probably sounds familiar to some of you, perhaps to many of you. I know – it’s a hard one to admit! I am not going to share the private details of that, sorry 😉 But please bear with me anyway. There is something more important than that part of the story. It began on the treadmill, of all places, not somewhere I frequently find myself. But going to the gym occasionally, during the tour, helped me get time by myself (which is almost completely impossible on staff) and helped me move energetics that were stuck. Suddenly on this treadmill, the desire to be free of that core story hit me, like never before. I simply HAD to be free of it; I could carry it all no more. So with this fire, I made a silent cry – a prayer – within, to Amma. With that, I let go, knowing that it could go either way: perhaps I would get free of this pattern, perhaps I would not – it was in the hands of Divinity now.

Shortly after this, Amma did a Q&A with the retreat group outside, in the unseasonably hot evening sun. There were only about 500 of us there. Right from the beginning, I felt a large amount of fear and anxiety coursing through my system, to the point where I could barely sit still. I didn’t know why I was feeling this way, it was like a body thing. I decided to focus more intensely on the question that was happening, and on Amma’s answer. As I looked at Amma, she made a certain movement as she talked with her hands, and with that I was gone. I felt as if I was merging into Amma from where I was – it was part-visual, part-kinesthetic (akin to the way I sense, during a session). As this happened, any remaining sense of separation fell away and I began to cry. In this oneness and tears and the whole un-conveyable experience, I suddenly knew that all my desire, lack and longing for this person – and all women and men who I had ever felt that towards – was really the longing for God. I simply knew it. Not as a concept and not as a philosophy, and not as an excuse. I actually saw it. I saw it in such a way, that it felt like I could never actually un-see it. I also sensed intuitively that all my other desires were also the longing for God. I felt freed at last…….truly, truly free.

(NB God in my perception is also Truth, wholeness, unity, oneness etc.) The next thoughts were, “Why have I been running after men and women all this time?” and “How could I have missed this reality all these years?” Then the strangest thing happened: I experienced depression for the first time in my life. As I sat, purposefully alone, eating dinner, I felt depressed. But there was absolutely no resistance to it. The sense of oneness was so broad and pervasive, that there was absolutely no problem with feeling depressed. In fact, I was pleased to be having the experience, because before that I never understood what depression was. I knew what pain was, deep gruelling emotional pain, but I didn’t know depression until that moment. I then experienced suicidal ideation! But again, there was no problem with this either, because there was zero resistance to it. And it existed in a context of oneness, of Love. After about an hour, both of these so-called negative experiences passed of their own accord, without me doing anything at all about them.

In hindsight, I believe they occurred because my ego had just lost its trump card, which was the core love story drama. With that gone, it seems like it had to play the depression and suicide cards to try to regain ‘control’ of my bodymind. But that didn’t work: these feelings and thoughts simply passed through, as I said. So then I was just there: story-less and One, feeling a sense of ordinariness and freedom. Nothing special, yet complete liberation.

I make my newsletters personal because I don’t believe I can help unless I talk from my own direct experience. I hope that by reading this something may have resonated or sparked for you.

See you soon, after the retreat,

Love,

xDaisy

Why Amma?

Hello,

How are you Londoners and people of the world? 🙂 I hope if you are in London that you are enjoying this heat wave we are lucky enough to be having 🙂

I want to address a question today which people often ask me, or ask me without words. Why Amma? Why do I do this? Why go and pay a handsome fee to work without pay, under conditions which some would consider harsh?

The answer is simple: it’s love. I look at Amma, and I love her. The depth of that love makes me want to support her work, serve Embracing the World (her global charity), and beyond that, to serve life in its entirety. For me, it’s passion; it’s not a ‘being good’ thing. It’s not even spiritual. Imagine being in love…now times it by 500…that’s nowhere near it. This is bhakti (devotion) in real terms.

Everyone has their own particular relationship with Amma, and certainly Amma devotees are all there for different reasons. Some of my friends, clients and family feel put off by the culty appearance of it all, by some of the devotees (who can be far from loving) and by the pretentious ‘holier than thou’ dynamics. Those of you who know me even a little bit, know I am definitely not the poster girl for holiness 🙂 No; it’s a love thing. Pure and simple.

So, what were the physical realities of being on volunteer tour staff, you may wonder. In my particular seva, we were working around 14 hours per day (every day) and longer on a Devi Bhava (the all-nighter). We got roughly 5 hours sleep per night, on the floor, sharing a room and bathroom with between 6 and 40 women. Then, after the long Devi Bhava, we would get on a coach and travel to the next city. Some of those journeys were over 22 hours long. When we arrived, we would sometimes get only a few hours sleep before set-up and work began. We delivered programs in 10 cities, over a 6-week period.

In between all this, I would squeeze my way onto the stage to spend time with Amma. Occasionally, Amma would call the staff to receive Darshan. I would like to share with you my diary entry about this:-

6/6/16

I don’t know how possible it is to put this into words…

Impossible.

*  *  *  *  *  *  *

But let me try.

Amma called us for Darshan in Seattle on Devi Bhava. As I entered the stage in the queue, I decided to make a prayer within. I said something like, ‘Amma, please assist me in focussing on the goal of this life: on realising God. Please help me to remain focussed even during this tour.’

As I laid my eyes upon her, hugging the person in front, tears welled up. I felt this love for her that was beyond anything I had ever experienced, and yet ordinarily human at the same time. I simply rejoiced within, at the sight of her. She moved my head around quite a bit before finally placing it on her heart, while she answered the questions of some devotees to her right. It always amazes me how one never feels left out in this scenario: Amma’s attention is deeply with each one of us simultaneously, which is testament to the sheer depth of oneness she is living. She then kissed my cheek and embraced me, chanting in my ear with a kind of vehemence in her voice, “My daughter! My daughter! My daughter!”, over and over again. I fell into total oneness…….. At the same time, the human being felt her as my teacher and as my mother – somewhere where those two are one and the same. And the experience of trust was overwhelming. As Amma finished the hug and handed me prasad, we drew back from one another and she looked deeply into my eyes. I cannot adequately express in words what I felt pass between us in that exchange: it was simply beyond the beyond. I then felt deep gratitude and expressed it somehow from oneness. Amma’s expression altered to one of such profound compassion….…something just too immense to convey. She embraced me again and then placed a chocolate in my mouth. That was the moment at which my searching gently stopped. My life’s search ceased in that moment. It was, perhaps, what many teachers have described as the end of seeking. Immediately after this I experienced true happiness: powerful, pure, authentic, unconditional happiness. I felt restored, redeemed – completely. There was total and utter wholeness. I’m not talking conceptually here, but actually. The real thing.

As I walked away, I collapsed on the stage in tears beside Amma. I was crying, and then I was sobbing; there was no way to do anything at all, and I couldn’t stop. But I was actually sobbing with happiness. My heart broke open under a force: that of revelation, unconditional happiness, union…Truth. Simultaneously, I experienced a spontaneous healing of my past, which came from nowhere. Dad’s death, the break-ups, the childhood trauma, the fear, isolation, despair, loss, loneliness, lack and doubt – all of these were consumed by something I cannot describe. I cried and cried, wiping my make-up from my face with my sleeve, only to cry uncontrollably again.

When the crying eventually stopped, I sat for a while. When I left the stage, I felt empty in the true sense of the word. Emptied of separation, of that heavy anxious burden. And the very subtle sense that something is missing, was gone. I could rest…finally, I could rest…… The feeling of resting and oneness were beautiful……profound. Paradoxically, there was an abundant feeling of vitality at the same time. But it was vitality without ownership. I realised that rest and vitality are the same thing. Eventually I went about the day, without saying a word about it to anyone.”

I hope you enjoy your day and that I get to see you soon 🙂

Love,

xDaisy

The End of the Film

Hello 🙂

How are you? I hope you are enjoying the Bank Holiday, and not working like my poor flatmate! I have decided to take tomorrow off in order to take proper care of myself before my move and big trip with Amma. My apologies to those of you who were waiting for this opportunity. There will be others once I get back (16th July). Obviously if you are in crisis, or even semi-crisis, do call me. I will be available until Friday, and then contactable sporadically by email while away.

I want to share with you a couple of interesting sessions which happened during the past week. I had the opportunity to work with someone who had not experienced healing before, which was an honour and a joy. She was naturally sensitive to Vortex and I felt the session went very deep, which was confirmed by what she said when she eventually came round. She said she was amazed to be able to “feel something so palpably that is simply energy”. This is something I forget nowadays because I am used to it: how incredible it is that simply channelling Vortex Healing can create this type of tangible effect on a person. She wrote to me the next day: “Thank you for such a magical experience. I felt so held and safe. Like I was truly blessed.”

I was also fortunate enough to do a session on a client who reminded me of me some years ago, which was a sweetness on a personal level 🙂 One of the things that was similar between us, was that she was crying and almost hyper-ventilating with a fear release during most of the session, yet she had the courage and the trust to keep going in anyway. That was me when I got into Vortex – every time I experienced the energy, I would react like this. I was able to see a good amount of detail about what the issue was for this person, and the childhood experiences that had concreted it. Afterwards, I was actually shocked by what she said and the way she said it. She exclaimed, “I was in so much pain! I’ve been in a serious car accident before and I wasn’t in as much pain as that.” Thankfully she had already intuited that this was a good thing in terms of her healing process. Bear in mind I was not using any bodywork, or therapy, in this session: my client’s response was purely due to the density of the underlying root conditioning breaking out from her.

It is sometimes hard for people to believe it could be true that even physical pain is not really rooted in the physical body. Perhaps it is simply too threatening for some to entertain the idea that the wild torrents of the inner landscape with which we are all in touch (to some degree or another), the subtle bodies and the unknown itself, could be the true origin of the suffering we experience on any and every level. But what would such a person conclude if they were actually watching the above session unfold..? It is an interesting question.

I had the pleasure of talking with two friends about awakening yesterday, one at lunchtime and one at nighttime. Lucky me! In the first conversation, my friend and I were talking about what it meant to us to ‘want awakening’ before it happened. For both of us, it wasn’t something that we knew really; it was something much more subtle than that. And yet this subtle unknown curious sense burned and resonated within each of us. And somehow, we both found ourselves waking up young and before almost everyone around us. We shared that awakening is not a game – there’s no game there, no map or gain – there’s no point to it basically. Even the word awakening is misleading in a way. We went on to say that, as human beings, we all do what we love: we are into what we are into, and that’s simply that. In reality, nothing ‘gets you there’ – gets you interested or engaged or involved or awake, if you are not already into it. It’s not a progressive thing – like a hobby, or a career, or a soulmate connection, or climbing the spiritual ladder. It’s nothing like that. It’s so simple…so simple, and so unfrilly.

In the other conversation, I was speaking to a friend and saying that once you have this insight, life is kind of over – and at such a young age. Lol! And yet, some part of the ego can still hold on all over again and think there is something still to get or gain. I said to him, “It’s like if I gave you a DVD and then told you what happens at the end. If you were sensible, you would put the DVD down and walk out of the room. There’s nothing in it for you now you know the ending. But I bet you would watch the film anyway, just for the drama leading up to it?” He laughed in agreement and added, “Yes. It’s like after you really experience what’s real, you know that all desires are really the desire for that. So they seem transparent – fake almost – and it’s pointless to try to fulfil them in a way. Because now you know the ending. Plus that end is here and now – it’s here already.”

I’ll leave you with that. If I don’t get the chance to say it again before I go, then thank you for being such wonderful clients 🙂 I will see you very soon – in July,

Love,

xDaisy

Pilgrimage to Paradise

Hello sunshine lovers, energy enthusiasts and helpers of mankind,

My title refers to an old trance tune on Sourmash records, which was helpful in bringing me towards spirit in my teenage years. In a deeper way, I am referring to what I am about to do in June: I am very excited – and honoured – to have been given a staff position on Amma’s US tour! I will be volunteering in the clothing boutique. It’s funny because I was thinking of ways I might get into the feminine and embody that more, and then I got given this position 🙂 Feel free to ask me any questions you may have about what I will be doing or what the tour involves.

Are any of you going to be there, or thinking of going to a couple of stops? Here are the stops in full:-

Seattle, WA

June 4-5 Public Program

San Ramon, CA

June 7-9 Public Program

June 10-12 Retreat

June 12 Evening Public Program

Los Angeles, CA

June 14-16 Public Program

Santa Fe, NM

June 18-19 Public Program

June 20-22 Retreat

June 22 Evening Public Program

Dallas, TX

June 24-25 Public Program

Chicago, IL

June 27-29 Public Program

New York, NY

July 1-3 Public Program

Boston, MA

July 5-6 Public Program

Washington, DC

July 8-9 Public Program

Toronto, ON

July 11 Public Program

July 12-14 Retreat

July 14 Evening Public Program

I will be away from the 3rd June to the 16th July without internet or phone access, so please do get all your sessions in before then.

I have been re-doing the Art of Meditation with Adyashanti this week and wanted to share some of the wisdom with you. Adya discusses the fact that awakening is not just an initial moment in which the I falls away, but it is also an ongoing unfolding. And for that part, meditation is crucial. In this sense, he disagrees with non-dual teachings – and I think rightly so – which tend to discourage practice (albeit covertly). Even if it is not said outright, the implication in many non-dual teachings is that practice is not all that important. Yet I simply haven’t met anyone who is deeply embodied as their true nature who has not engaged deeply in ongoing practices. So from my point of view, I wholeheartedly agree with Adyashanti on this important and often perplexing point. Please do offer your experiences with this, as I would be interested in them.

Bye for now, and do call or contact me before the 3rd June,

Love,

xDaisy

This Love

Hello 🙂

This is a new day,

This is a brand new day!

Your crimson tide washes over my heart,

This Love,

This Love…

I wish I could more accurately translate to you the sense of doing the 1000 Names this morning. It leaves a perfume, a scent, of such depth and bliss…and ultimately pure non-separation, oneness. If you are not doing a regular practice, I highly recommend starting today. Even if you only do a 15 minute meditation in the morning or at night, you will find that over time you begin to see clearly again, the way you used to as a child. To see things AS THEY ARE. What a huge privilege…! In fact, Amma has said:-

I didn’t come to teach anyone anything. I came to remind you of a song you once knew, but have since forgotten  ~ Amma

It’s quite a statement coming from an avatar, the one kind of being who actually can truly teach, directly, and with acute accuracy. So we can see then, that this enlightenment game is really not about teachers or teachings. It’s about something else entirely… I would dearly love to hear your thoughts on what it is about, so please write to me about this 🙂 Also, please do join me on Facebook. Search for Daisy Nokes. I know I went through a privacy period, but that is over now.

How did you fair over Shivaratri on Monday, followed by the solar eclipse and Picses supermoon on Tues and Wed? Yes, that much did happen! The Shiva day, from my point of view, is about stillness manifesting into creation (sometimes in a variety of ways 😉 and the solar eclipse creates a deep purging of old pain, so that new projects can blossom. The supermoon in Picses represents the unconscious of humanity, the collective unconscious, what is being denied, coming out and releasing. I would love to hear any stories you have about Mon, Tues and Wed 🙂

If you feel you would like to join in with weekly coming-togethers of like hearted souls, just to remind you that I am going to Villa Devi in London every week to sing and chant and be with Amma devotees. It is a deeply transformative and amazing way to deepen your practices or path and to gain the sense of community. Let me know if you would like to be put on their mailing list.

Some of the results I have been getting through working with the U-AP level of Vortex Healing are remarkable. A client rang me to say that she “couldn’t feel anything” and she was concerned that she was emotionally disconnected. But when I looked into her system I could see that the work we had done together was so transformative that she had lost an entire ‘place’ or position in consciousness from which she had been living her life up until now. That is the power of this healing art combined with the way I work with Amma. I always wanted something which could actually remove issues, not just make the prison more comfortable, but actually deconstruct the prison piece by piece. Thank goodness I found Amma and Vortex Healing and that I am able to share that deconstruction with you, in you. This is the deepest gift I have ever been given.

I also facilitated a session this week in which I worked on the core position underlying back pain that my client had had for over 8 years, and with which she had been working in a variety of very helpful ways. Yet somehow the pain remained. Immeditately after the session she was able to flex her lower back again and the pain was barely noticeable! She also remarked that her voice had changed. This is something wonderful which can happen after a session, as if the person is speaking from a different place and without something ‘in the way’, that something being the issue worked on.

There was also a beautiful moment when I was doing some awakening coaching with a client and I asked her (because she was feeling a lack of clarity) what clarity meant to her. She replied simply, “Knowing my Truth and moving towards it”. I knew immediately that it was a pivotal moment for this person, because once you speak so authentically out loud the Divine hears (and you yourself hear) that and the transformation of life truly begins anew.

Ok that’s all for now. A bit of a long one – thank you for bearing with me 🙂 I feel very over-excited!

Love to you, beautiful blessed being,

Daisy

Group Vortex Healing

Hello,

How are you this rather cold day? On Sunday I was given the opportunity to facilitate a group healing on Leila Sadeghee’s Yoga Immersion here in London. It went very well indeed and I was thrilled about it! Leila commented that it felt to her like receiving an individual session, which is encouraging considering that there were around 20 people receiving the work. A lot of information came through also for people individually afterwards when they approached me with questions and comments about their experiences. All in all, it was wonderful and something I would like to continue with in the future. It was the first time since Dad died 5 years ago that I have facilitated a group and it feels good to be back in the groove of that. I would like to know if you would be interested in receiving group healing, either at a distance or in person at the venue in London EC1?

I want to share a personal healing miracle which happened last week. As some of you know, my mother and I have a challenging relationship and have had for as long as I can remember. This culminated in an argument one night recently, revolving around her disapproval of my life and my awakening path, including her speaking against Amma, which was the biggest trigger for me. The next day, I attended an Amma satsang and dedicated the sadhanas there to healing this fraught relationship. I did this again during an additional satsang that week. I also wrote a loving email to Mum, apologising for what I had said in the argument. Although Mum did not apologise or engage, something in her email response made my sensing ears prick up. She said she had had a ‘car prang’ that week, nothing serious but she was a little shaken by it. In November last year, I had a clear premonition that she would die in a head on collision with another car. I had had glimpses of this a couple of times before, but had put it down to fear in my own system. However, the premonition in November was so clear that I decided to do healing on it and I also told Mum. She did not react well, she was angry, but I felt it was the right thing to do to warn her so that her awareness might be present should the situation arise. On hearing of the recent car prang, I had the feeling that perhaps it was the dissolution of her karma by the Divine, which I have heard that Amma is capable of doing. I asked my healer this and, as we discussed it, it became clear to both of us that that was indeed the case. Of course we could both be wrong, only time will tell, but if this is true then it is a healing miracle… If this is true, then it puts a whole new light on the deeper reason for the falling out Mum and I had, and on the sheer power of the satsangs, and of Divine intervention. I personally feel blown away by this experience…

Something else which came to me this week and I wanted to share with you is that, if you want awakening in this lifetime you have to really want it, naturally, and you need to truly engage with your life and your path (dharma). None of this hiding out in non-dual getaways will do it – it doesn’t work. I tried it for years, and I see a lot of people trying to do it that way, but what happens is you get stuck and believe you are ‘there’, even if that means ‘nowhere’ (which, if you look at the ego, is actually still trying to get somewhere). Many of the so-called teachers of non-duality etc. in London and around the world are not where they think they are in terms of awakening and embodiment (I am not talking about Tony Parsons here). It is not very difficult to see this if you sense directly into their consciousness. Another way is to look at how they avoid life or their conditioning, or at how they treat others and behave. Often such ‘teachers’ are not really embodying the Truth that they have glimpsed or awoken to. That means that as a student / participant they can’t really help you. Looking at someone like Adyashanti for example, it is clear and evident that the embodiment there is very real and very deep. That is rare, in reality.

Just to remind you that, as I explained in my last newsletter, I have received guidance from the Divine on my price per session, which is now £90 for 1 & 1/2 hours.

Wishing you well,

Love,

Daisy

Mother Meera in London + other news

Hello 🙂

Is anyone seeing Mother Meera in London at the moment? I went last night and am still feelings the effects 🙂 One can feel when she is about to enter the hall because a deep silence falls through the consciousness of the room. As I sat with friends there in great silence, the meditation was totally natural…and this is the opportunity presented with this Master. I was not trying to do anything or control anything. I was simply sitting. One realises in this way, what true Stillness is. Because the mind can be talking, or not, one can be feeling, or not, and still awareness is fully present and remaining…simple and complete within itself. Then one knows “I am that”, without words, or ego, or anything at all. During the darshan, I noticed that I did not feel any separation from Mother Meera as I approached her and no sense that she was ‘above’ etc. (a big fixation in my conditioning). When I looked into her eyes there was still some remaining ego consciousness, and as I relaxed that fell away and there was only freedom…

It is easier once one has done the various Veil classes in Vortex Healing or woken up on one’s own / via another tradition or modality. But even if one has had only glimpses of freedom, any glimpse is the entirety. Either way, one sees at a certain point in spiritual maturity, that there is no need to leave that awareness for any reason. I don’t mean cling onto it, I just mean there is no need to go back into business with life after that: ‘I’ Vs the world etc. Because one knows that there is really no self, no I, that is separate from life itself.

Something very interesting which Ric (Vortex founder) wrote to us about, is that issues often come in pairs: for example, the ‘victim’ will also have the ‘victimiser’. One may well only be identified with one of these, but the other ‘silent partner’ will hold the primary position in place. So it is a good idea to work on both. I don’t want to overload you though! Each and every session is a deep deep dip into the freedom that you are, and a radical dissolving of what you are not.

I have received new guidance from the Divine on my price per session: this is now £90 for 1 & 1/2 hours.

As I was sitting in Costa waiting for friends before Mother Meera yesterday, it occurred to me that there is another and equal intuitive way of being to the process I described last week. Sometimes, ‘tuning in’ – especially when it is really checking (which comes from fear) – is not the best way. Intuition is natural, arising without the me getting involved. Upon perceiving this, I began to wonder what intuition was naturally speaking to me, regarding a particular situation in my life without tuning in – simply the natural, nature way…? What I found was, I got the same response as when I did it the other way. Sometimes, it is that one of these ways is better for one person and the other for the next person, and sometimes each way will be helpful for the same person but at different times. The thing about it is, you need to be clear enough in terms of having had some glimpse at least of freedom (awakeness), so that you are not coming entirely from the me sense, the ego, when attempting to follow your intuition. Practise is the best way and simply the living of life. I don’t usually recommend going to psychics because many of them are less clear than you are in their sensing of your situation, and it also tends to create dependency rather than freedom and empowerment. If you really trust a person’s intuition then it may be wise to follow what they recommend, but that trust needs to be really genuine, which could happen if you can naturally sense the integrity and awareness in that person’s system.

That’s all for now. I hope things are deepening for you,

Love,

Daisy

The Vortex Healing Way of Sensing / Psychic Perception

Hello 🙂

This weekend and last week I was lucky enough to have the opportunity to re-take the Vortex Healing classes Sensing and Advanced Sensing, with Anthony Gorman. I want to share with you some of what I discovered, in order to illustrate what you may be able to experience through taking classes in this amazing healing art, and also to share some of my journey since I am the person in service to your unfoldment when you have sessions with me.

Here is what I wrote in my notes on day 1 of Advanced Sensing:-

It’s only ever a question of awareness…….. There is no need to leave Truth, ever, full stop. In that sense, it is a choice. Do I want to be what I am, do I want to be as reality is – what reality is? Or do I want to be in illusion, trying to make things better (or worse), trying to get better, become something else, something different, something new? Is there something different, something new, other than this awake alive free fall that remains, despite all our attempts to distort and prevent it (because of our conditioning)?

It gives credence to Anthony’s reminder to us that this new and updated class is really assisting a very deep embodiment of whatever level of awakening has happened in each student. Also, and importantly, the Vortex Healing way of sensing is to sense from and as Awareness itself. This makes it different from most other kinds of healing modalities and sensing methods etc., which are often in reality accessing collected memory, on many different levels. In one way, that common technique is fine because one sees the story of a situation. But in another way, it could be seen as feeding the ego because it is not sensing the Truth of the situation, which would actually create more growth for the receiver.

Put in another way, Vortex Healing sensing is not about improving our ability to have experiences and see more ‘things’ – angels etc. It’s about awakeness waking up to itself in this moment, and from that the truth of the situation has space to arise.

Our looking for Sensing/Divinity/Love etc. makes us blind, because we’re coming from a perspective that is distorted by lack etc. – by deep conditioning. This new way is really about sensing without looking for anything. Sensing is on a need-to-know basis. We don’t sense what we don’t need to know. That’s why we often can’t see/get things we ‘want’, because that want point of view is coming from lack, or some other conditioning. We sense what we need to sense in that moment. As frustrating and sometimes terrifying as that is for the ego, that’s how it is.

To assist your own sensing ability, take what happened to me during lunch on the one-day Sensing class. This is an example of how simple all this really is and how helpful it can be:-

I was sitting in a busy restaurant with friends, trying to decide what to eat from the menu. My mind was telling me to have one dish and my body another. Usually, my story was that I should go with my body. But this time something else happened. When the waiter came, I ordered a different dish entirely, having no idea where this came from. In fact, I thought it was a dish I wouldn’t like, yet something – which wasn’t me – wanted to have it. So I went with that. The dish turned out to be so nourishing for my body and much better than anything the apparent me could have chosen. I also enjoyed it way more than I could have imagined. It was a laksa soup by the way, with chicken and coconut 😉

In this way, when you go with the Truth in any moment, because you have got to a point where you can feel that, the results are so much more deeply satisfying than anything your imagination could conjure up to tempt you with.

Are you aware that there is an Adyashanti online course starting very soon? It is called ‘The Art of Meditation’ and I am taking it, as are some of you I hear. I highly recommend these courses, even if (and perhaps especially if) you have never met Adya in person. Here is the link:-

http://www.adyashanti.org/index.php?file=specialeventsdetails6

Goodbye for now,

Love,

Daisy

Longing for the Divine

Hello,

How are you? I hope this correspondence finds you well. I want to share with you a poem I wrote some time ago about longing for the Divine. Listening to Adyashanti on the bus just now reminded me of it.

Oh what of this mystery?

I turn in the night,

Towards Love, towards You.

Here without motion,

Bathed in such Light.

You, who I can never have

And who never leaves.

Trails of longing remain,

Like vines

Cut off at the root.

Can I speak to You

Without opposition,

Without two?

Your gentle ears listen

Without existing.

A secret Life

Comes in the night.

I have begun attending satsang every week at Villa Devi in Brockley, South London, on Thursday nights. This is bringing oneness more deeply into my living life and I wanted to invite any of you who would be interested in coming. We sing bhajans, chant the Guru Stotra (like the 1000 Names) and perform other kinds of prayers to Amma. Contact me if you would like the details.

If you have not yet done so but would like to, you can sign up to have Mother Meera’s darshan here in London in February:-

http://mothermeera.org.uk/

Also, if you have not yet signed up but would like to, there is a waiting list for Adyashanti’s retreat this August. I recommend getting onto it asap if you want the chance of a lifetime to be on retreat in silence and with a truly gifted awakened guide:-

https://www.adyashanti.org/index.php?file=retreatsdetails&eventid=1221

Last but not least I would like to share something Amma once said:-

“I haven’t come to teach anyone anything. I have come to remind you of a song you once knew, but have since forgotten” – Amma

She utters such nectar with every breath…I thank the day I met this person. The only person I can call teacher and mean it.

I hope you are enjoying your week,

Love,

Daisy

The Significance of Following Your Intuition

Hello,

Happy New Year 🙂

I want to talk about something while I am in this ‘place’ as it were. Do you know how it is when you follow your intuition, including speaking that, even though it takes so much courage and it goes against your conditioned reflexes?

When I do this, as I did today, it is as if there is an atmosphere which fills the whole room or space…and the truth leaves a wake, waves which carry on. Yet everything is totally still, silent in its essence, and real. It is as if I am touching the depth of life itself, right here in my bedroom. Nothing and everything exists within this, and there is no ‘outside’ or ‘inside’. Simultaneously, my body quivers with the felt sense of oneness – like rushes down my legs and down through my crown. Perhaps this is where the absolute and the humanness meet?

To give the ‘story’ part of this, I would have to share something which I know the person involved would not want me to share. It is not one of you, but it feels wrong to detail this. Sorry to be vague.

On a different note, you will be pleased to hear that I received this from Ric recently:-

“This morning there was an upgrade to the U-AP and a major upgrade to the Protocol. My sense is that you will be able, when working through the Protocol for issues, to move at least twice as much in the same time frame, and deeper. Happy New Year!” (Ric Weinman)

The difference is palpable, so do get in contact if you would like to experience it. That’s all for now, as I can’t write more from this silence at the moment. I look forward to hearing from you though 🙂

Love,

Daisy

To surrender to the Divine is to not know

Hello,

I hope you are all well in the run-up to Christmas. Christmas is often a difficult time for people, as well as a time of joy, and I wanted to acknowledge that because I don’t think it gets much press (for obvious reasons). I am available over this period for support. The only days I will not be available are 24th Dec – 26th Dec and the 31st Dec – 1st Jan.

On writing this newsletter, I have just finished my practices: the 1000 Names followed by the IAM Technique (please ask for more details if you wish). The sense of stillness, peace and unconditional Love is immense… I cannot recommend these highly enough. The discipline of any practice, though, done with openness of heart and regularity, brings you back to You. In the wintertime particularly, there exists this opportunity to flow into ourselves, deep within, to the Source, to the Light within darkness – the great deep midnight Light of awakeness.

I saw the most wonderful film last week, which you can find on Netflix. It is called ‘Awake’ and it documents the life of Paramahamsa Yogananda. The whole film is an amazing journey, and there was one part specifically which made a deep impression on me. It was when Yogananda was giving a speech in New York in the 1920s (around 15mins into the film) and he spoke about the centre of us being the spine; if you go in there, he said, “…you meet the Maker”. On hearing him speak these words, I spontaneously burst into tears and was pulled deep into my spine and into what he was speaking of, through the vehicle of emotional pain. I cried and cried and felt all this conditioning rush up my spine and out through my crown, while my sense-awareness naturally remained within the spine / gut area, expanding all the while, like a dissolution as Oneness. That was my experience of this great piece of filmmaking. If you watch it, I would love to hear about it.

I have been particularly struck by the sessions we have been doing together of late, and would like to share some of what you have said about them. After a session which cleared the issue of sorrow in one go, the receiver reported that she experienced the issue as being completely gone: she said that when she looked inside to find that place which had been there before, “there was nothing there – it was empty”. This is the joy of Vortex Healing®. It is amazing that it is able to get to issues deeply enough as to actually revive this natural experience. This doesn’t often happen in one session, but in this case it did.

In another session, I learned so much from my client. After talking awhile post-treatment, she said these simple yet profound words: “To surrender to the Divine is to not know”. It struck me right to my heart. Not only was it true for her, but it also pertained to current challenges in my own life. I felt these words coming from her real Self – not from something she had heard or rehearsed, but from that genuine place when innocence lives and thrives.

I have also had a few experiences where something takes over during a healing and I am no longer facilitating the healing at all – Divinity is simply pouring through as the natural expression of Life itself, faced with what needs to be transformed. That is something of deep personal significance to me, so I wanted to share it.

I also want to thank you for the deep compliments you have paid me in these past weeks. I won’t share what was said here, because it feels wrong, but you know who you are – thank you 🙂 I am not good at receiving these, but that doesn’t mean I don’t, and it is so very important for me to hear the good stuff, as well as the constructive criticisms you may have.

As always, these are just a few of the stories that have happened, and every single healing session is beautiful and deeply important.

Wishing you Love, Truth, whole-beingness,

Daisy

To consciousness – ahoy!

Hello 🙂

First of all I want to tell you about the IAM course on Saturday, London N8. This is Amma’s meditation technique, which she invented whilst walking around the ashram at 3am with no-one around. She went down to the beach and the steps came to her in a vision. I highly recommend training in this, because of the way in which it connects you to the Divine. It feels as if the Divine is pouring through your body. I found it particularly useful when I worked in Advertising, because I would feel kind-of protected all day in the office, after doing it in the morning. I will be there, brushing up my skills:-

http://amma.org.uk/iam.htm

There is a party of my friends going to Calais to give aid to refugees there. The dawning of this intention is something I was present for at a recent Amma satsang in Hove, and it was very beautiful indeed. I get goose bumps just remembering it… The selflessness of people never ceases to move and hearten me. You can contribute to the buying of blankets, boots, tents etc. for the homeless migrants by donating via PayPal using this email: calaiswintersupplies@gmail.com. Super easy and feels so good 🙂 Or if you would like to join them on the trip, please contact me by phone. They leave on the 14th Dec for a couple of days.

Regarding sessions with the U-AP, what I have learned is that using this new energy and consciousness does so much more than even the excellent ‘Protocol’. It’s the way it allows the receiver to fall into the arms of the Divine which makes it so unique. Here is what one of you emailed after session 2:-

“I had come to accept that working through trauma with clients as a psychotherapist, simply entailed the personal processing of other people’s unconscious within my own body as just par for the course, an inevitability of ‘depth’ work. I now see that this does not necessarily need to be so dense. That there is a way of positioning in relation to the Divine where this process can be lighter… After your healing yesterday I honestly am astounded at the effect. I had almost stopped believing that energy healing can be this powerful… It is to consciousness now that I feel so awake and alive… The work you have done on me in 2 sessions has awestruck me…the healing has blown my mind and inspired in me the awakening of connection and the primal energetic love and passion of existence.”

I learned from a friend this week and wanted to share with you, that when you are in difficulty – first, give it to God. This first and most important step is often missed in our rush to try to control the situation. Along similar lines, it occurred to me during a session this week, that when you pray, the prayer gets answered in the sense that God hears what it is that you are REALLY asking for. This is not to say that it isn’t important what you pray for, and more importantly the attitude with which you pray, simply that what we really need is often being distorted by the ego.

And lastly, but not leastly, the film ‘Un + Une’ by Claude Lelouche, which was by his own admission in the Paris program really a way to make a film about Amma, was released in France yesterday 🙂 If anyone hears of it being shown here in London, please do let me know. Here is a link for more info:-

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Un_plus_une

Love,

Daisy

Shadows and Light (I think Joni Mitchell had it there)

Hello,

“Every picture has it shadows

And it has some source of light,

Blindness, blindness, and sight…”

                 

                                                 Joni Mitchell

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ty_7d-qwYxs

So, Paris……. What a shock. I never usually watch the news, but when I did on Saturday morning I could only cry and curl up in pain about it all. In the end I had to take action, so I decided to do a healing on the situation, which I mentioned on the Vortex FB group. I felt happy seeing so many fellow healers join in and respond, rather than react, to what had happened. The attacks made me reflect on how much I love this city, London; it’s freedoms, tastes, smells, colours and sexualities, music, dirt and aliveness everywhere. I am in love with the city in which I was born, and to think of it being hit with such a wave of violence as Paris was, is horrifying. What I also want to acknowledge is how much it has brought to the surface fears and pain in me and in everyone I have treated or interacted with this week. If you want to express anything about it, please feel free to write to me or call.

I hope those of you who visited Amma in London enjoyed yourselves 🙂 I know I did. I feel so very fortunate to have been touched in this way by her, in a way that is complete and whole. I especially liked part of her speech, in which she said, “It is what we give, not what we receive, which determines the value of our life”. Why is it that she can say the simplest of things, but it can cut all the way through, like the Truth itself?

I have a healing story to share with you. I treated a man who was in another country a long way away. He is the father of a client, fairly resistant to healing and from a generation where perhaps the idea of healing is less palatable. He had had cataract surgery recently and reached out for help when he was unable to see without double vision at long distances. The next day, less than 24 hours after the session, I received this text from my client quoting her father: “I am 🙂 My vision is now clearer up to 7 or 8 feet compared with yesterday”. I consider this quite something when you think that this was achieved in just one session using the U-AP, and on someone at a distance who was asleep at the time (plus essentially a non-believer).

A little update: the availability of the wonderful new venue I am working from in EC1, is Tues 6pm – 9pm and Wed 10am – 5pm. So please do book for in-person healing.

Finally, some Vortex trivia for you. During the Earthshift class, I asked Ric how many Vortex students there are worldwide. He said about 5000. Our little pot is growing 😉

Ok, goodbye for now. I hope you enjoy your weekend,

Love,

Daisy

The Call of the Heart

Hello,

Happy Guy Fawkes Day 🙂 I’m sure many of you are more focussed on Amma’s upcoming visit to London, beginning on Tuesday. For those of you who are wavering about whether to be with her or not, I want to tell you a story.

A friend and fellow devotee from Poland was staying with me and was booked onto the Eurostar to be with Amma the following day. I had no plans to be with Amma in Paris. That evening, we decided to buy ice cream from the shop and, outside, my friend turned and looked at me. It was much like any other moment, except that I felt Amma pour through her and into my heart. Then she said, “I can feel Her already”, and I replied, “Yes, so can I…”. As I crossed the threshold of the shop, I realised somehow that I was going to Paris the next day with her. It was 10 30pm; it seemed impossible. But when we got in, the picture of Amma on my altar seemed to flash with light. I sat with it all for a while, wondering “What is life asking of me regarding Paris?” (a tip gathered from Adyashanti). Immediately, I had a vision of myself in the hall at the Paris programme. The more I sat, the clearer the direction to go in became. I went online (it was now 11 30pm) and managed to find a very reasonable last minute deal. I rearranged my life, and we left at 5am the next morning.

It really is like this sometimes… Literally the calling of the heart from the Divine; direct, and beyond doubt. Here is an excerpt from my diary about what happened when I got there:

“I sat down on the stage and tried to see Amma. Swamiji and some media people were obscuring the view, but I was enjoying their cheerful exchange. Then, I saw Her from behind. Suddenly I felt a rush through my entire body and then all there was was stillness. My mind stopped. I closed my eyes and a vastness opened…there was no separation that I could feel at all. This stunning openness……. Eventually, thoughts returned. But there were so few and they felt as if they were disembodied voices, mouths talking to one another lower down in my body. I felt no identification with them. It was amazing though, to see how they build their web – thought by thought by thought, until we feel consumed. Then, I listened to one of them and I was drawn into a long and convincing story about my future: I “knew”…”It all makes sense”, I thought. I even experienced a kind of visual clarity while this was happening. But then my eyes met a sign on the stage which said, in French, “Please leave space here”. There was an internal laugh, and the whole of that story began to drop, unravel and become see-through. The deep silence of Being returned, though in a sense tainted with this grand tale that the bodymind had spun. I relaxed, smiling at the child sitting next to me, and fell into meditation again, impassioned by Amma’s beautiful form.”

I hope this sheds some light on your own process perhaps, or on why it is worth it to keep going as deeply into Truth as you can. I have observed that often after a great opening, the deepest conditioning can come up like that – masquerading as Truth, in a way. It takes a great deal of surrender to see through that kind of story, rather than following it.

I will be doing the Vortex Healing Earthshift this weekend, so I hope to see some of you there 🙂

And last but not least, thanks to one of you I now have a venue for in-person healing. This will most likely be available on Wednesdays in EC1, which I will confirm in due course.

Much Love to you,

Daisy