How are you? I am well 🙂 enjoying swimming in the sea, doing Acro Yoga in the countryside and giving distance sessions 🙂 I will be in London giving sessions Fri – Sun inclusive, so please call / text to book. Otherwise distance healing is always available 🙂
I finally have the time and space to reflect on the US Summer Tour with Amma, which I did half of this year, freestyling from San Ramon (in Northern California) to Dallas, Texas. I must say that this was the best time I have ever had with Amma… I had previously thought that my ‘Amma heydays’ had passed (during my first Summer tour in 2002, and on staff last year), but with Amma life just gets better! I think that’s almost like reflected light bouncing off the reality that the awakening embodiment evolution we are inside of can always go deeper. I want to share with you an excerpt from my diary. This part I wrote in San Ramon, stop 1 of 4:-
‘It’s another day in paradise here. And the Silence is palpable. It sings from the birds, dances across this lake, dawns within, shining outward like a sun.
Last night I had Darshan with Amma. I prayed in the queue several times, and the power of that prayer made me fall asleep, so that the helpers kept needing to wake me up. The unconsciousness in me wanted to drag me down and numb me out. My prayer was this: “I realise now that my longing for ‘x person’ is truly my longing for Divinity. Please remove any and everything within which says otherwise, believes otherwise, feels otherwise and is otherwise.”
When it came to the person in front of me, Amma did something she had never done in the 16 years I have been with her. As that person’s Darshan was ending – before, even – Amma reached out her hand and took mine. She then literally pulled me into her lap. It was as if she was saying, “Take my hand – I will show you how to do this.” And even deeper than that, I felt a direct pulling into Divinity. I let go in her arms. She had heard my silent prayer and answered it.’
This part I wrote after my final stop in Texas, during a layover in Calgary, Canada:-
‘Although what I’ve learned is way beyond words, I’m going to attempt to sum it up.
1) I experience a Love now that is a Love beyond love… It is deeper and clearer than any other love in my life. And everything, everything, can be done through this Love. Through and as this Love. I don’t have to go into analysing, into ‘hard truth’ or into separation of any kind. Those who told me to love someone less (basically) were never right, and deep down I knew that they weren’t. That way was wrong for me – I needed something higher. And that’s what Amma has revealed to me on this tour. From this True Love, everything can be accomplished. All barriers can melt. All pain can be healed, and all fear. Being honest and clear about what I really love, which is also what I really want, allows everything… I’m no longer confused – I see what’s real. And it’s so, so beautiful…
2) Amma is, and has always been, my teacher. She reveals everything to me, in time. It’s a flow…
3) Slow down. Slow down. Slow down.
4) Go beyond. When I get caught in the victim, in misery, in despair – simply go beyond. There is literally no value in wallowing there. Perhaps do some seva, do sadhana, do sports – it could be anything really. But dwelling doesn’t help, and it isn’t loving or valuable.’
It’s interesting to re-read these expressions and to see how differently things have played out back here at home than I thought they would at that time. It’s been way more challenging than I could have expected. The direct presence of a True Master is a precious thing. Back in ‘the world’ I find it harder to live out what I know. On one hand it is happening anyway, because it is the truth. But worldly life is far more messy and gritty than we bargain for when we are with the master. If we don’t follow through on what we know to be true though, on that deep discovery (or perhaps recovery is a better word), then the time on ‘retreat’ was essentially of little value. It is a high challenge to be what we really are in the world rather than in the ashram / monastery. It is not the path for everyone, yet it is my path, and I think for many of you also.
In case you don’t have these, here are the dates for Amma’s Europe Tour:-
Enjoy your week 🙂