How are you? I have quite a lot to tell you today. Firstly, who came to Amma? And how was it, if you did? One of you summed up her first experience with Amma in such a beautiful way that I want to share it. She said, “I’m just completely blown away by her. It’s the highest level of love. How lucky are we to be in her presence.” And that’s it.
I found this part of Amma’s speech particularly inspiring. Amma said that anger is the only thing that can truly defeat us; whereas patience is true victory. She pointed out that there are numerous things each day which can cause us to get angry. But when we do, we actually empower that situation or person to control our mind. Amma compared projecting anger at someone with grabbing a burning ember and throwing it at them: we get burned first, before burning the other person.
As you may have guessed from the title of this newsletter, Steve Vieau and I’s awakened relationship has come to its final end. It happened on the 15th October, hence my recent silence and withdrawal. I don’t feel that it is necessarily appropriate to share details about how the break-up happened. But I will say that it was deeply shocking, almost like experiencing trauma or PTSD. After that, it was excruciatingly painful and devastating for me, because he is the love of my life. The pain was beyond words, unbearable loss – almost as if I was losing Amma – which plunged me into literally the deepest darkness of my life. Thank goodness I was then miraculously with Amma in person. After what She transmitted to me, I am now beginning to experience the ending of Steve and I’s relationship as a healthy and powerful hit to my ego: a way for the Divine to completely destroy what is untrue inside, and create transformation. The whole thing is gradually becoming sobering, humbling and liberating. Which is why I chose the title I did for this newsletter today. Thank you to all those who rode the rollercoaster of the past two years with us, supporting us in our journey together. I also want to express how much solace and love I am finding in the Divine, in my friends and in all of you: my work is even more precious to me at this time.
There is an opportunity to learn Amma’s incredible IAM Technique on the 23rd and also to be with Br. Shubamrita (Amma’s senior disciple) on the 30th. Please contact me for further details about these events at MA Centre UK (Amma’s Bromley ashram).
A note to please correspond with me via WhatsApp, Messenger, phonecall or text for a swift response – i.e., not email. For hopefully obvious reasons, I have deactivated my Facebook account, so please don’t think that I have blocked or de-friended you if we were connected on there. FB Messenger still works fine.