How are you?
I want to write a little about my experiences with Mother Meera during her visit to London, happening now. I have been fortunate enough to have been seeing her for around 10 years. Please see this website if you would like to know more:-
As soon as I was seated in the hall yesterday, there was this return to the natural state. It’s not that easy to put into words, but suddenly meditation was happening with no meditator and without any effort to meditate. I could feel Silence pouring like liquid gold through my body, and now and then there were rushes of something like energy, as if my cells were coming alive after a deep sleep. This took over, and in that takeover, I returned to innocence. Each thought, story and emotion which arose was unresisted and simply seen for what it was, without indulgence. Again, there was no efforting – it all seemed to happen without me. I sat like this for a long time.
When it was my turn to join the queue for the staring Darshan, a bhajan from Amma began to ‘play’ in the background of my awareness 🙂 When I was in front of Mother Meera with her hands on my head, my mind came to a complete stop, and even this bhajan stopped. As she looked into my eyes, I experienced total and utter oneness…which seemed to pour itself into infinity. Everything left me – all suffering, all concepts – all things left. As I rose and walked down the steps after this, a different bhajan from Amma began to ‘play’ lightly once again 🙂 I sat for a long time afterwards. When Mother Meera did her group staring Darshan at the end, I noticed such a shift in the energy in the entire room… Did anyone else feel that? It was wonderful to see some of you there 🙂 and hopefully you all got my email detailing this visit a while back?.
After I left with friends to eat together, several remarkable things happened that day, which I simply cannot see as anything but Divine synchronicity and Grace 🙂 Firstly, on the way home strangers kept talking to me – and this is on the tube in London!! One mother began to talk to me about her son skateboarding – a big part of my history in this life 🙂 On the next leg of my journey, a woman began to offer everyone her chocolate biscuits – literally opening them up to strangers in the carriage. I felt such a love for people radiating from this action and from within this woman…so much so that I commented on it, and she knew that she had this gift. It actually turned out that she used to serve me fish’n’chips in the area where I lived many years ago! This got me thinking of one of my closest friends in the world (whom I had become estranged from) who lived in that area too. Later that evening – and I’m not joking! – that friend called me, completely out of the blue, to apologise and ask if we could be friends again. Incredible… And then that night, my Mum and I started laughing together spontaneously like children – like we used to when we were both younger. We couldn’t stop! And then we hugged and made up about a stupid fight we’d had. I could hardly take in all the Grace…
It really couldn’t have come at a better time. These last two months have been so painful… First my uncle died suddenly, then I broke up with my fiancé and then there grew this rift (described above) between my close friend and I. The pain of breaking with Steve got so intense that I was crying almost continuously, with bone-crushing emotional agony. In facing this depth of pain and loss without running away from it, I eventually experienced self-effulgence for perhaps the first time on my own. In the end, I was forced into the Light within myself. My heart still overflows with love and passion for Steve… And yet, simultaneously, there is a deep intuitive clarity that we cannot be together at this time. It’s the weirdest thing ever in my life. If I were to go against this, I would be sacrificing my integrity, and I simply cannot do that anymore. Even for the love of my life.
I would love to hear your experiences with or after Mother Meera, so please don’t hesitate to write to me about them. Or about anything else (as I have demonstrated here! I hope you will forgive my indulgence :-). I look forward to seeing you or working with you again soon.
So much Love 🙂 🙂 🙂