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Posts tagged ‘embraced’

Why Breaking Up Is Sometimes Good

Hello 🙂

How are you? I have quite a lot to tell you today. Firstly, who came to Amma? And how was it, if you did? One of you summed up her first experience with Amma in such a beautiful way that I want to share it. She said, “I’m just completely blown away by her. It’s the highest level of love. How lucky are we to be in her presence.” And that’s it.

I found this part of Amma’s speech particularly inspiring. Amma said that anger is the only thing that can truly defeat us; whereas patience is true victory. She pointed out that there are numerous things each day which can cause us to get angry. But when we do, we actually empower that situation or person to control our mind. Amma compared projecting anger at someone with grabbing a burning ember and throwing it at them: we get burned first, before burning the other person.

As you may have guessed from the title of this newsletter, Steve Vieau and I’s awakened relationship has come to its final end. It happened on the 15th October, hence my recent silence and withdrawal. I don’t feel that it is necessarily appropriate to share details about how the break-up happened. But I will say that it was deeply shocking, almost like experiencing trauma or PTSD. After that, it was excruciatingly painful and devastating for me, because he is the love of my life. The pain was beyond words, unbearable loss – almost as if I was losing Amma – which plunged me into literally the deepest darkness of my life. Thank goodness I was then miraculously with Amma in person. After what She transmitted to me, I am now beginning to experience the ending of Steve and I’s relationship as a healthy and powerful hit to my ego: a way for the Divine to completely destroy what is untrue inside, and create transformation. The whole thing is gradually becoming sobering, humbling and liberating. Which is why I chose the title I did for this newsletter today. Thank you to all those who rode the rollercoaster of the past two years with us, supporting us in our journey together. I also want to express how much solace and love I am finding in the Divine, in my friends and in all of you: my work is even more precious to me at this time.

There is an opportunity to learn Amma’s incredible IAM Technique on the 23rd and also to be with Br. Shubamrita (Amma’s senior disciple) on the 30th. Please contact me for further details about these events at MA Centre UK (Amma’s Bromley ashram).

 

A note to please correspond with me via WhatsApp, Messenger, phonecall or text for a swift response – i.e., not email. For hopefully obvious reasons, I have deactivated my Facebook account, so please don’t think that I have blocked or de-friended you if we were connected on there. FB Messenger still works fine.

Love,

xDaisy

Divine Doors

Hello 🙂

How are you?

I am rejoicing in learning today 🙂 I learned so much from listening to Anthony Gorman on the Vortex Healing classes I took with him recently, here in London. One thing was a completely new way of looking at bridging (not sensing, but rather the connection from me to you which allows Divine energy to penetrate deeply into your system). The aspect of bridging that I knew most about, is a manner of connecting with you as oneness. And then it’s as if I create rivers through which the Divine energies pour and move themselves into you. But Anthony explained another side of bridging, which I had thought about less. He said that what makes us better bridges (and more “qualified” – to use his word – as healers to address issues in you), is actually what we have survived and worked through ourselves. I find this profound… I always had a slight inkling that my own life experiences were designed in some mysterious way for the service of others, but I hadn’t heard this spoken out loud before.

To follow on from what I wrote about the EarthWorks classes I attended recently, I wanted to mention that I can make a Divine Guidance Door into an object for you, as part of a session. This helps you with your own sensing and seeing from Truth. It takes about 15mins – like a regular Divine Door. You can sit with the object, or ask questions if that is more natural to you. For example, I made one for myself in a small rose quartz crystal. Other possibilities include an Angelic Divine Door. Believe it or not, I have one of those in my trainers! Nature Divine Doors are also available.

Here is the link for Amma’s Europe Tour. She will be in Surrey on the 1st and 2nd Nov. It’s free, it’s a party – what’s not to like? 🙂 Please let me know via message or call if you need any information about the event of the year 🙂 It’s also really cool to see her in another city if you can: you get more space and time to just be with Amma, when it isn’t your home city.

https://amma.org/meeting-amma/europe

I will be at Marlies Cocheret in London on Fri 4th Oct and Sat 5th Oct, so please join me if you can (flyer attached). Booking is important for this.

On the 6th Oct, there is the Official Opening Day of the MA Centre UK (Amma’s ashram), which is in Bromley. It’s free, but advisable to book your place:-

https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/ma-centre-opening-celebration-tickets-71802686769

Please note (as some people are not aware) that I need 24hrs notice to change or cancel a session, otherwise the session will be charged at the normal rate.

See you soon,

Much Love,

xDaisy

 

Giving Sessions in London :-)

Hello 🙂

How are you?

I am well and feeling rejuvenated after my trip to see Amma in Canada. I have to say that this was one of the most incredible times I have ever had with Amma, or in my life – well, they always seem to go together 🙂 I feel so much Grace and fortune have come to me, and so blessed to have been part of what was going on there. I am now back giving sessions in London, so please do message or call me.

Before I went on my trip, a friend was telling me the way he thinks of Amma. He said, “To me, she is the Master of Being Human”. I love that!!! I have often said that it is Amma who has taught me the most over the years about how to be a better human being. But this expression from my friend says this and even more. I generally think of Amma as Divine (which is fair enough, because I perceive her as the exact embodiment of Divinity in human form, very rare) yet this description stunned me. It also contains the flavour of Amma’s own humility. Swami Dayamrita once captured a similar-ish kind of sentiment when he said in a documentary about his time with Amma, “I don’t care if she is God or she is Devil – she is my Mother.” He went on to say that the biggest miracle he has ever seen Amma perform is her Darshan. Day after day and hour after hour. He said that it isn’t even the great human feat of being able to do this that moves him most; it’s that she would want to do it.

I would like to pass on to you some of the teachings and expressions I gathered from my time at the Toronto program. Something Amma said which touched me very deeply was this: don’t ever hesitate to give love, because love is the only thing that you can always give. 🙂 🙂 🙂 – You know those times when you’re not sure..? When you feel like withholding love from someone..? And then there’s that moment when you go one way or the other..? That’s the space getting addressed here I feel. So beautiful… Amma also said that this human life is meant to be born in love, to be lived in love and to end in love.

I think my favourite thing of all that Amma said this time follows here. During the retreat, we were getting ready for the Q&A session, in which anyone can ask a public question to Amma. Amma announced that it was time, adding that 2 + 2 can never equal 5: the Truth has been given already, she said. So we can ask about our personal problems, what we see, what we hear, what we sense etc. She left it at that. There was still a Q&A session, but how transformed we all were in it!

During her Devi Bhava speech, Amma expressed that we should not allow praise to get to our heads or criticism to get to our hearts. She also reminded us that growing old is not the same as growing up: growing old happens without any effort and is the journey towards death, but growing up happens when we mature spiritually, and is the journey towards immortality. She pointed out that even the next breath is not in our hands. We need to recognise this truth, she said, and spend the time we have left in this life realising God within (which she defined as, that within us which cannot be changed). In connection to this, Amma has often said that far from being a luxury, God realisation is our birthright.

I hope you enjoyed these Amma inspirations 🙂 If you would like more, Br. Shubamrita is coming to London on Sunday to give a talk. I will be there. Here are the details (this talk is free):-

https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/finding-our-true-home-talk-by-br-shubamrita-tickets-64310417189

See you soon,

Love,

xDaisy

Where does happiness lie?

Hello 🙂

How are you?

It is possible to have been on a spiritual path or an awakening path for many years, yet still hold on to secret drives, particularly regarding happiness. Even though all of this can easily be spiritualised of course 😉 So, where does happiness really lie? I would love to receive your feelings and ideas about this, so please do write to me if you feel to.

I suppose the way this question got answered for me, wasn’t so much by asking the question and then analysing: it came in a different way. It was more a case of something which was there before, falling away – and noticing what was gone. One day, I went to Amma’s ashram in London to do seva. Before beginning the seva, there was a satsang (literally meaning, meeting in truth). I don’t know why on that day I had such a profound realisation, since I do many of those satsang practices every day, and have done for years. As I was chanting Archana (the 1000 Names of the Divine Mother), I was staring at Amma’s picture on the altar in front of us all. Suddenly something hit me like a flash : the source of happiness lies within me. It was quite a shock, and yet so evident and in a way, obvious, even though this whole thing was very subtle. Then a cascade of insights followed, such as the fact that happiness is never going to be found in a man, or in a partnership, in having a child, or in anything external. And also, I realised that the words ‘happiness is a choice’ (as Amma has said many times) are actually true. I realised that I am not “going to find it” in a relationship, I am not “going to find it” ‘one day’. Happiness is here, now! Happiness is already here, before I begin looking for it. On the level of thought, it was like, “Wow! Happiness is nowhere outside me.”

A reminder of timing and prices, as some people have not received these:-

All sessions are 1 & 1/4 hrs

In-person (in your home) = £100

Barbican venue (most Wednesdays) = £90

Distance healing (via WhatsApp, Skype etc.) = £75

I’d also like to inform you of some dates I will be away: I have very recently decided to visit Amma in Toronto, 12th – 22nd July. I will take that time off for sadhana (spiritual practices), self-care and seva (selfless service). Therefore please plan your sessions accordingly, and message me if you would like to book.

I hope this email finds you well and enjoying the warmth 🙂

Love,

xDaisy

Bank Holiday Goodies :-)

Hello 🙂

How are you?

I am well, and continuing to adore and enjoy my time in my new houseshare in this beautifully green area of London 🙂

I want to let you know that I will be offering sessions this Bank Holiday Monday the 27th May for only £50 (distance healing, 1 hour sessions). Please text, call or message if you would like this 🙂

I read these words from Amma, which a friend had posted on Facebook recently, and they really moved me.

“There are many masters around the world who have attained the ultimate state. If they could do it, you too should be able to do it. Why have doubts? Try. Doubting is learned; you have learned to doubt. You have never learned to believe, to have faith. Doubt is your number one enemy. Faith is your best friend. Have faith and put forth effort. You will see the outcome.” ~  ❤️  Amma (Sri Mata Amritanandamayi Devi)

We have the tendency to think that there are very few masters who have truly realised the Self, and to want to give up easily on this birthright and this path. But, as Amma points out, this is not true; just as it is not true that it is too difficult for us. I think that for women in particular this can be a deep issue, which obscures the inherent awakeness. I really like this quote because of how orienting and opening it is. Read in a certain way, it directs the intent and perhaps the ego itself, even, to the Source.

I hope you enjoyed it and that you enjoy your evening. Looking forward to seeing you soon. Much Love,

xDaisy

Divinity Intended

Hello 🙂

How are you? I am very well and settling into my new home in South East London. Yes, I have moved 🙂 I had no idea what a real home with the most appropriate energies around you could do for a person… It really is amazing how different I feel about everything and how much freer I feel on a human level.

I would like to share with you this piece of writing I did about 3 years ago, which I uncovered during the move. I wrote it on a retreat, held by my friends Chetana and Will. I hope that perhaps it carries you somewhere:-

Divinity Intended

I cannot speak…for talking this out is nothing at all anymore. This Silence bears witness to all of that and is also all of that. No need for words anymore. My silent spoken friend, awareness, finally stayed after his tea was drunk.

I saw what is true for me and accepted the somehow burden of it. This being done, You came in again. Then, the deeper revelation – the surrender……. No holding back this time. You showed me all, You revealed Yourself in the night, in the day, in the detail – all at once. That timeless moment – Now. All my burdens are laid down in You. All my heavy weighty blindness and my deafness to Your song is gone. Now I see it all. The game that I played – You knew my every move. You were always bathing it in that Light, yet only now can I see this.

What needs to happen, needs to happen. Yes, this is true. But what I failed to understand was the pitch perfect way this is all going. The sheerness of a thousand songs called out in Your name. It must be as it is and as it will be. You are the One, I am That. I found You again, and in the finding, I am no longer me. No longer isolated from You, my beautiful Muse, my all, my everything. I didn’t know that this way is the way. This precise way which you are unfolding… Divinity Intended. Not outside anymore, not happening to a me. Divinity Intended. A button unbuttoned and a comb combed. The jeans and the hair of Existence.

What has to happen…it’s unfolding, opening – at Its pace alone. Only Your rhythm exists. You lovemaker… It’s all happening now, and now, and now. There is no other; no other at all. This is Your game, and I feel no distance from You anymore. Somehow, I have not transferred this, not managed to translate this – the incredible depth of what is here.

Upcoming events you may be interested in:-

Monthly Satsangs are now held at the MA Centre UK (Amma’s ashram in Bromley) 🙂 Please email vakeesyam@fastmail.fm 

Marlies Cocheret is offering a websang meditation group (by donation) each Wednesday, at 6pm (UK time): https://www.marliescocheret.com/

Tony Parsons is having his next Open Discussion in Hampstead on the 1st June:-

http://www.theopensecret.com/talks.html#london

My wonderful housemates are offering a concert at Alternatives (in Piccadilly) on the 3rd June. Please contact me re: tickets. They are actually upstairs singing as I write this 🙂 🙂 🙂 Here they are in action:-

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m88nld_V5aA

Rupert Spira is next appearing in London on the 7th June in Marylebone:-

https://non-duality.rupertspira.com/meet

And finally, if you would like to go on retreat with Adyashanti in England this August, you can still get on the waiting list (which many people end up getting onto retreat from, in my experience) : https://www.adyashanti.org/programs/in-person/retreats-detail/england-5-night-retreat-1449

 

I would like to remind you that sessions are now 1 & 1/4 hrs and are priced as so:-

Call-out (in your home) = £100

Barbican venue = £90

Distance healing = £75

Please make a note of these changes if you have not already done so. Please also note that the quickest and easiest way to get hold of me is via a message of some kind, or a phonecall.

Love to you and bye for now,

xDaisy

Earthshift and Deepening in Divinity

Hello 🙂

How are you?

I am well and finally getting the chance to sit down and write to you. At the end of my time with Amma in India, I actually went on an unplanned trip to Boston to do some advanced training in Vortex Healing, as some of you have heard.

The first class I took was the ‘Earthshift’. This type of Vortex class is a fantastic opportunity to work on the earth and on humanity’s consciousness as a whole. Ric (the founder of Vortex Healing and teacher of this class) had perceived a particular point of ‘choice’ in human history where the human race had moved into a type of Maliciousness / negativity / evil. He wanted our help as a group to release this karmic choice point (which had actually happened 200,000 years ago), thereby aligning humanity a little more closely with Love and Truth instead. The angelic realm was very involved in this. Amongst other extras, we also focussed our channelling power into humanity’s psyche and the individual karmic burdens which were part of this Maliciousness at the level of humanity as a whole.

The second class was one in which we melted into embodiment of another class I took a few years ago (you may remember, it was called ‘Awakening to Divinity’). This class was about resting in and as Divinity, utilising powerful group meditations and transmissions to assist this. There really isn’t much to say about that as you can imagine – lol! But what I can speak about are the new skills and insights I have to offer you in sessions, which also came from this training.

Ric discovered that the core emotional (karmic + genetic) position of human beings and also other species, is Loneliness. The Core Loneliness we feel deep down exacerbates the false sense of separation from Divinity, and in turn creates hunger for various things : power, status, security, sex, connection, love etc. etc. At the same time, the survival anxiety conditioning we carry fuels that hunger. So this core emotional position is very important to address and can have amazing results, which is why we even worked on Core Loneliness in the class itself.

Whereas before in session, the Divine was transmuting the point of choice (in terms of a particular issue) for you (i.e., the point in childhood where something happened, like a trauma, and you ‘chose’ to align with and continue a particular past-life theme), because of this class several other Choice Points can also now be released – including Genetic and BodyMind Choice Points.

Another amazing tool I have from this class is called Bio-Dynamic Flow. Receiving this work feels a bit like Cranial-Sacral or Jin Shin techniques. A variety of ‘flows’ and ‘tides’ that exist everywhere in creation are activated and directed to melt away places of rigidity and tension in the human body, and system as a whole. This Bio-Dynamic Flow moves in slow waves, akin to there being a ‘very long tide’ in Cranial work, if you like. Please note that this particular tool can only be used in person. The best description I have heard of it so far was from a client, who said, “It’s like relaxing at the level of atoms.”

I am changing the timing and fees of my work. Sessions are now 1 & 1/4 hrs:-

Call-out = £100

Barbican venue = £90

Distance healing = £75

Please make a note of these changes.

There are some upcoming events in London which you might be interested in:-

Mother Meera is giving her ‘staring Darshan’ near Preston Road (almost Wembley but not quite) on the 30th April and 1st May:-

https://mothermeera.org.uk/darshan-uk/

Br. Shubamrita (a senior disciple of Amma) is coming from the ashram in India to give a talk on ‘Overcoming Loneliness’ (no, the synchronicity has not been lost on me – lol!):-

Sat 4th May, 6pm – 9pm, Merton Arts Space, Wimbledon Library, Compton Road, London SW19 7QA

Rupert Spira is giving a talk at the Steiner venue in Marylebone on the 10th May:-

https://non-duality.rupertspira.com/meet

I hope you had a good Easter, and perhaps attended the wonderful Extinction Rebellion 🙂

Love,

xDaisy

Back in London :-)

Hello 🙂

How are you? I have missed you on my epic trip! I am back in London and giving sessions – so please contact me by text, WhatsApp or Messenger to book.

I think the biggest gift Amma gave me this time was to make me believe in love again. Or perhaps to remind me that I never really stopped believing. And she did this in one single Darshan (the hug). When you consider what I have been through recently, with the breakdown of my engagement to Steve, this is quite something. I had spent two months crying, yet as soon as Amma returned to the ashram from her North India Tour, I received a spontaneous unplanned Darshan (without even a token), and everything changed. It was as if the light-switch of my heart got turned on again. How she does what she does I will never know, but I am so deeply grateful that she does it. And thus my personal healing journey began…

I heard a story at the ashram, from a long-time Amma devotee, which I would like to share with you. It is taken from recorded talks by Swami Paramatmananda (Nealu). Many many years ago, when the ashram was a different place and Amma’s organisation was small, it was nearing bedtime and Amma was brushing her teeth with the Swamis. Suddenly she froze in the middle of brushing and fainted on the floor. When she had come round, Swami Paramatmananda asked, “Amma, what happened – why did you pass out?” Amma told him to go and look in a particular hut on the ashram. There he would find a monk sitting in front of his altar and crying to the Divine. Amma said that this monk’s focus was so one-pointed to the Divine, to realise enlightenment, that she had left her body to go directly to him. That was why she had collapsed. Sure enough, the Swami went to the hut and there was the monk in swathes of devotion, crying his heart out in surrender in front of his altar.

To finish (as I have very limited time for anything but giving sessions at the moment) I want to share an inspiring quote which I heard on the plane, as part of a TED talk on emotional maturity:-

“Courage is not the absence of fear. Courage is fear walking.”

Sending you so much Love and Peace,

xDaisy

India Sun Rising

Hello 🙂

How are you?

I received more replies to my last email than to any other email I have ever written. It is good to discover that authenticity and transparency are so valued in the world. Your responses were wise, insightful and heart-warming, and all that positive energy has done wonders for the healing process I am in. Having said that, this is the process of my lifetime, and I am still so deeply in it that it is too early to share about it just now. As I mentioned in the other email, I will be taking my time with Amma in Amritapuri to heal myself. But please know that I will be giving sessions again from the 10th April onwards.

Events you might like:-

On Saturday 23rd March, there are Bhajans and Satsang (including meditation and chanting) at Amma’s UK ashram in Bromley. Please arrive by 5 30pm: 40A Letchworth Drive, Bromley, BR2 9BE

On Saturday 31st March, there are Bhajans and Satsang (including meditation and chanting) at Amma’s UK ashram in Bromley. Please arrive by 10 30am: same address

On Friday 5th April, Rupert Spira will be giving a talk in Marylebone:-

https://non-duality.rupertspira.com/meet/2019/04/05/evening-meeting-at-rudolf-steiner-house-london

On Saturday the 6th April, Tony Parsons will be giving a talk in Hampstead:-

https://www.theopensecret.com/talks.html#london

I will be flying tomorrow. Take good care of yourselves while I am away, and please meditate 🙂 Amma always reminds us that meditation is more precious than gold, and that even a few moments spent in meditation are not a waste of time.

Much Love to you, I will miss you,

xDaisy

Fierce Grace

Hello 🙂

How are you?

I will get straight to the point today. I’m afraid I have some shocking and sad news which I want to share with you as a matter of transparency and authenticity. Within the last few weeks, Steve has ended our engagement and our relationship. I think we are both still in shock about this. The change is drastic, especially on a human life earth level. Knowing him as well as I do, I know that he would not have done this without good reasons, even though these reasons are only partially clear at the moment.

In facing and working through the extreme emotions and thoughts I am having, I am moving gradually into acceptance. Slowly, I am developing trust in what is happening. And when my intuition visits, it seems to be saying Yes to the ending of my partnership with Steve. I am left in astonishment at how unpredictable the dynamic aspect of Truth is.

As self-care, I have decided to take my upcoming time at the ashram in India with Amma (7th March – 8th April) to focus on healing myself. Before and after this period I am still working, so please don’t be shy about asking for sessions.

Love and best wishes to you,

xDaisy

Amma Hits London Tomorrow! :-)

Hello 🙂

How are you? I am good 🙂 I have spent the day (like my other days off at the moment) helping to build the new ashram for Amma in Bromley. I love doing seva (selfless service)… 🙂 It honestly makes me happier than anything in the world. I have no idea why – lol! But I really love it. Soon the new place will be ready and will operate as the M.A. Centre for the UK, and as a community centre in between Embracing The World events.

Tomorrow Amma comes in person to Sandown Racecourse in Esher, Surrey. The final night is Friday and it’s the all-nighter. Here is all the information you need:-

www.amma.org.uk

If you haven’t yet met Amma, here is a documentary you may be interested in watching:-

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YsxZI0PBl_A&t=17s

I am still here until the 27th, when I fly to the ashram in India for 3 and a half weeks – so I will return from there on the 22nd December. Please book your sessions accordingly, as I will not be able to give sessions from the ashram this time. I will be available via WhatsApp, Messenger and email there though, but bear in mind it is rural India without Wifi, so contact will be sporadic.

If you come to Amma in Sandown this week, come and find me in the massage area where I should be for most of the 3 days. Much Love to you all 🙂

xDaisy

Amma in London :-) :-) :-)

Hello 🙂

How are you?

I want to share the exciting news that Amma is coming on the 14th – 16th (incl all night 16th) November! She is returning to Sandown Racecourse (Surrey) this year. If you would like a gentle Seva (service job) with good vibes, please come and help us in the massage area. You can either help on reception, or (if you are a qualified and insured masseur) by giving treatments. Even a couple of hours volunteering makes a huge difference to Amma’s program, and to her unique international humanitarian aid charity ‘Embracing The World’. Doing Seva (selfless service) also creates happiness within and fills you with Shakti (Divine Energy) 🙂 Here is the link for information on the venue, transport and how to get a free Darshan (hug) token etc.:-

www.amma.org.uk

People often tell me about ‘seeing signs’, or ask me what I think about this. Spending time with Amma in Holland recently gave me the chance to be in solitude for long periods of time, and in that space some wisdom came to me which I want to share with you. What hit me is that, truly,  when we see a ‘sign’, we are often simply seeing our conditioning reflected – as if in a mirror. What we see, especially the ‘bad’ stuff, is usually not truth, but merely ego playing. It is mind, and that tends to see what it wants to see (no matter how convincing things seem). Many times we are taking things to be truths which are really our own negative (or positive) fantasies. The very origin point of such conclusions about ourselves, life and others is missing the mark completely. True truth, which can come as instinct or intuition, although it doesn’t need to, isn’t like that. It is calm and without doubt, it is clear without being forced, and without forcing. It is usually rarer than all those ‘signs’ and mind-made things.

Amma’s Devi Bhava speech in Holland was very moving and, though I tried to write down a lot of it, I was too moved to be writing during much of it. Absorbing her wisdom ended up being quite consuming. There were a few things I got down, though, which I would like to share with you. Amma said that there is a big difference between our physical and mental health: our physical health depends on how much we move our body, whereas our mental health depends on how still we keep our mind. She also pointed out that when we pour out our sorrows to God, it is actually like a meditation – a quest to reach God. And I love Amma’s version of make-up: she said, “Let us colour our lips with words of truth.”

I will be returning to Amritapuri (Amma’s ashram in India) from the 27th Nov – 22nd Dec, and during that time I will be unavailable for sessions. However, you can contact me on WhatsApp, Messenger and email, where I will be available for any crises. So please get your sessions in before that period, or book for afterwards.

Love,

xDaisy

Devotion

Hello 🙂

How are you?

I am here in London, adjusting to the changes that my life brings, in this case the return from ashram life to city life. I don’t know if anyone remembers that seminal track by Goldie – ’Inner City Life’? That more-or-less encapsulates how it feels.

When sitting down to write about a living master, one faces a dilemma: the sense that the living presence of such a being, and the ‘experience’ (for want of a better word) of that, can never be confined to words or descriptions. It’s very hard to say anything about Amma. She both is and is not, she manifests as both form and formless in a continuous cascade. Perhaps the way in which my friends and I feel her in the most tangible way, is as Supreme Love: a Love that goes completely beyond anything imaginable, and which cuts through every vestige of the human ego, revealing the ultimate secret of this universe. If anyone is asking why I spend so much time with my spiritual teacher, this is why.

I wish I could give some kind of account of my stay with Amma in Amritapuri, but that really would just be words. You see, it’s a living thing with her. You don’t go about your day and then sit down and write your diary, and feel all good about what you’ve understood, and then go to sleep again. It’s not like that. The path with Amma is the path of action, of expression, of interaction and of an outpouring of a selflessness you had no idea was inside you, waiting to come out. This Love moves, this Silence transforms without leaving itself. This true way throws the human being into complete Mystery, not only once, but constantly. And miracles rain down upon everyone in that ashram like the monsoons. I’m aware that I sound like I’ve drunk the Kool-Aid – lol!

Those of you who have visited the ashram will know that one of the ways people deepen in their closeness with Amma and her teachings, is through sharing stories about her. I heard many extraordinary accounts while I was there this time. One never knows whether such stories are true, mythological or a version of a truth. To me, that is not ultimately the most important thing: for me, it is this unknown space…this Mystery, that such stories deepen me into which matters the most. One night, we met a new friend. As we got to know him over the course of our stay on the ashram (in saying ‘we’ and ‘our’, I am referring to Steve and I – yes, we are back together 🙂 🙂 :-)), this friend began to tell us the story of how he met Amma. The story begins before he was born. His father heard about Amma and took my friend’s sister to meet Her in Manchester in 1989. When they went for Darshan the father said to his daughter, “You are in the presence of God, you can ask anything you like.” The daughter told Amma that she wanted a little brother. Amma looked to the father and asked if he and his wife wanted another child. The father replied Yes, but that they could not, because his wife had gone through the menopause. Amma said Ok, and smiled at the daughter. A couple of months later, the mother began her periods again. Soon after this, she was pregnant. My friend was born in due course. Not long after the birth, Amma was due to visit England again. The father stayed at home with his new son (my friend), while the mother – who had never met Amma yet – and her daughter went to the program. As the mother fell into Amma’s arms for Darshan, Amma said to this woman – who she was meeting for the first time and had no information about – “Are you happy now that you have a son?” The mother burst into tears and surrendered. Hearing this story flooded me with energy rushes and goosebumps. I would never want to, or try to, prove whether it is true or not. I don’t know that. All I can say is that the sense of resonance throughout my entire being upon hearing it was overwhelming, and that the feeling of reality, realness, hitting-the-mark – whatever you want to call it – opened up within me in a profound way.

This actually leads me into something else I wanted to share with you. People often ask me about intuition, and feel that I have some expertise in this area. I don’t know about that, but I did discover something more about the whole thing when I was with Amma in the ashram. I hope that including this diary entry might assist you in your own journey with with your sense of intuition / instinct.

12/9/18

The answer came in Darshan today. There was no need to tune-in, check, ‘ask Amma inside’, or anything like that. When I was relaxed and open – simple, and in my being, one could say – I felt during Amma’s long embrace that [X]. It didn’t come mentally. It didn’t come through any kind of asking. It didn’t come in a big bang. It came through the feeling body. This relative truth came as a sort-of feeling, a kind-of sense, which ran like a river through my heart. So, yes, as [Y] reminded me that time: trust the truth that comes naturally, like a gift.”

That’s all for now. If you would like to book a session or talk about anything, please call, message or text me.

Much Love,

xDaisy

Manifesting Intention Review

Hello 🙂

How are you? This email is a little late in coming to you, but I have finally had the chance to gather my thoughts from the last Vortex Healing training – Manifesting Intention – which I completed at the end of May.

Before I get started on that, I want to remind you that I am fortunate enough to be attending a silent meditation retreat with Adyashanti from tomorrow until the 18th August. This means absolutely no digital contact during that time.

Another reminder, as not everyone realises yet, I have the venue in Barbican back on Wednesdays, for those of you who cannot (or prefer not to) be treated at home. Distance sessions continue as normal. I have decided to keep my price the same, rather than raising, having looked into it with the support of Amma and Merlin (the Divine Being at the heart of Vortex Healing).

So, what do we mean by ‘Manifesting Intention’? Firstly, it’s important to explain that this has nothing to do with the plethora of techniques about getting what you want. This has to do with alignment and rooting inside Divinity, and then meeting that as it manifests through creation. One way of thinking about it is that it’s the Divine getting what it wants: you being the Divine at the deepest level of what you are, but certainly not on the level of ego or I or mine / me. Manifesting Intention is not about manifesting ‘my will’. As a healer, the difference between this and everything else we have in Vortex Healing is that I am going directly to Divine Intention at the point that it arises in creation, and channelling from there. We now use the term ‘re-manifesting’ instead of ‘transforming’ or ‘clearing’, because to heal what is being healed we are actually helping to re-manifest the Divinity from inside what is off. Now, of course, the manifesting of Divine Intention is happening all the time through all of creation. The transmission I have from this class helps you to align more deeply with that. In this way, it’s a healing and an awakening and an embodiment aid all at the same time. Pretty mind-blowing!

In class, we talked a lot about kidney energy. You will have noticed that I focus a lot there in almost every session, and now I have a way of channelling compressed Jing and Chi energies into the kidneys using MI (Manifesting Intention). I learned more about why this part of the body – and its resonance throughout the rest of the body – is so important. The Chi of the kidneys governs hormones – that’s a huge chunk of your body’s systems – and the kidney energy holds the toned-ness and strength of the whole body.

We also discussed gut health. These days there is a lot of talk about micro-biome and it was interesting to get Ric Weinman’s (teacher of the class and holder of the Vortex Healing lineage) opinion about this. He made the point that it’s not just about what we are eating, even though that is important. He believes that the health of the gut is a reflection of the health of the entire system. It reveals where a person is mentally, emotionally, karmically, genetically etc. Also, certain kinds of probiotics can actually be unhelpful (for example some can even exacerbate candida), so it is a good idea to tune in with your body before buying a probiotic. I tend to do this with all supplements anyway – and yes, you can even do this through the screen when shopping on Amazon 🙂 Simply feel from your body – perhaps with eyes closed to make it easier to see / sense – and experience whether your body wants that particular product or not.

With skin problems, Ric advised examining the liver. Essentially, when the liver is not functioning well, then the body is forced to detox it’s shit through the skin. He said that the toxicity comes from karmic (past life), genetic, emotional and food / environmental / physical factors and lifestyle stress combined.

And we have made a breakthrough in clearing chronic viruses such as Herpes and Epstein-Barr with Manifesting Intention. It is now possible to knock out most of these, even the very tricky Herpes!

See you after the retreat 🙂

Love,

xDaisy

Stillness and Service

Hello,

How are you?

I am well. I wanted to let you know of two upcoming events which I am attending, to give you the chance to plan sessions if you want to:-

I will be on a silent meditation retreat with Adyashanti in England from the 11th – 18th August, and I am going to serve on Amma’s ashram in India from the 30th August – 26th September.

Much Love to you,

xDaisy

Amma: Compassion Visionary

Hello 🙂

How are you? I am very well indeed 🙂 I was hoping to write to you earlier, but it seems now is the time. First of all, just to let you know that I am back in London and working – so please do message or call my phone to book a session. Plus, I have the venue back. So it’s Wednesdays at Barbican. Some of you will appreciate this, as you either cannot have sessions in your home, or prefer not to. House calls, though, and distant sessions remain available.

Being with Amma on her west coast US Tour was phenomenal… If you have not yet had the chance to meet this fascinating visionary of Compassion, please do take the opportunity. Amma tours for around eight months of each year and the rest of the time is in her ashram in Kerala (India). So, if you are ever going abroad, check in with her websites to see if your paths cross. The dates for the London program at the moment look to be the 11th – 12th November at Sandown Race Course in Surrey (with the Devi Bhava all-nighter being on the 12th). Please do check nearer the time for the update on this, as it can change.

Amma is not just another teacher, another guru. We are talking about, without mincing words, the most exact embodiment of Divinity on the planet alive today. The benefits of spending time in Her physical presence simply cannot be quantified. Just a few examples of this are: experiencing the true nature of Unconditional Love, broadening learning on how to give and why it is so important, and awakening and embodiment. Not to mention engaging in the far-reaching humanitarian aid work Amma is doing, through Her global charity ‘Embracing the World’, and all its volunteers. Bear in mind that neither Amma, nor the Swamis or Swamini, nor any of her senior devotees, nor any of us are paid for the work we do. This is why her charity remains uniquely effective in delivering to its millions of recipients in India and all over the world.

Check out her charity:-

www.embracingtheworld.org

Her US Tour (still happening):-

www.amma.org

And her Indian site:-

www.amritapuri.org

Above, you will find all the information you need on meeting Amma and on her charitable activities. If you do not, please don’t hesitate to ask me.

I want to give you a little personal account of just a couple of the amazing things I experienced with Amma this time. The first is a diary entry from my working week in between having just taken the Vortex Healing® Manifesting Intention course and my time with Amma:-

25/5/18

I was in my bedroom contemplating this continuous drive towards God which I feel so pressingly within. All of a sudden, an alarm began to ring very loudly. I had never heard this particular alarm before and didn’t know where it was coming from. I searched the room. Finally, hidden behind furniture, I found this old dusty digital clock; clearly, it had been left untouched for months, maybe even years. Within the displayed time was 108. As I gazed at this in amazement, the numbers turned to 109, and the alarm clock stopped ringing.

As many of you know, 108 is a particularly auspicious number in Indian spirituality and we chant the 108 Names of the Divine Mother as part of Amma’s recommended sadhana (spiritual practices). A week and a half afterwards, it felt like this bolt-from-the-blue came to fruition while I was on Tour with Amma. I was in Seattle and had been up all night on Devi Bhava, being with Amma and doing seva (selfless service) with my friends. Here is an excerpt from what I wrote:-

4/6/18

After Darshan, I was given a seat right in front of Amma. I fell Silent, totally peaceful, content and happy. Eventually I was moved, but I lingered at the back of the stage. I was left untouched standing there for more than an hour – during which time I was totally transfixed by Amma. Watching Her, I deepened more and more into Silence.

Then, the man who plays the guitar beautifully began to play a solo during Swami Dayamrita’s bhajan set. It was so wonderful, it began to carry me… Suddenly, I was overcome and I began to cry. I felt everything and nothing, I felt union. The sense of union (for want of a better word – a word that doesn’t exist) was so deep…in a felt way, in a way that was choiceless and without an exit gate or any room for doubt. I felt relief and completion in a way that was total. I called out in my heart to Amma, “Thank you, thank you, thank you Amma. I can hardly believe that this is my life. Help me to Surrender – I want to Surender all of my life, everything, to You.” I was crying for a long time; every time I would look at Amma, it would start again. It had hit me – really, really hit me – what She is doing here. I felt overwhelmed at seeing the Reality of Her. That she chose this life she is living – that She has come to us to uplift us, in the most profound sense – the whole world, the whole of humanity. It’s hard to get it across in words, what I felt and perceived. I kept crying and silently calling out to Amma in my heart, “Thank you, thank you Amma – thank you Amma, thank you Amma.” The gratitude I felt was completely overwhelming. In between my tears and praying, I would simply watch Her giving Darshan, feeling this one-pointed longing / bridging into Divinity itself – like I was being fast-tracked to God. When my mind would occasionally start up again, Amma would turn and look at me, and my mind was stopped, and I would be returned into the Silence. It was as if She was showing me the utter beyond-ness of Divinity through this whole thing.

I would like to end with a quote directly from Amma. I hope you enjoy it. I recommend reading it out loud to yourself for full effect:-

“Compassion does not see the faults of others. It does not see the weaknesses of people. It makes no distinction between good and bad people. Compassion cannot draw a line between two countries, two faiths or two religions. Compassion has no ego; thus there is no fear, lust or passion. Compassion simply forgives and forgets. Compassion is like a passage. Everything passes through it. Nothing can stay there. Compassion is love expressed in all its fullness.”

❤️ Amma (Sri Mata Amritanandamayi Devi)

Love,

xDaisy

AMMA :-) :-) :-)

Hello 🙂

How are you?

I am happy and well, if tired, and now without the time to write you the email about the wonderful Manifesting Intention course which I had hoped to write. I leave to be with Amma early tomorrow morning. Many more of you wanted sessions than I had anticipated, so my time has been well spent giving these. Please bear with me on that email though; there is so much exciting stuff to share with you once I have the proper time to go through my notes.

I am thrilled about seeing my teacher! I will be with Her in Seattle, San Ramon and Los Angeles. I leave early tomorrow morning and return on the 19th June (morning). I will be engaged in seva (selfless service) while I am there and will have very limited digital access.

www.amma.org

I hope this email finds you well and enjoying life, and I very much look forward to seeing you after the 19th June.

Love,

xDaisy

Manifesting Intention

Hello 🙂

How are you? I am very well indeed, and writing to you from the airport lounge as I begin my epic journey of many parts back to London, from the Vortex Healing course in Virginia Beach which just ended.

I land late on the 24th, and am offering sessions from 25th to 31st May (before Amma for 2 weeks). Please WhatsApp, text or call to book for this period or for when I am back (19th June onwards).

The feeling of bliss and happiness is profound…really profound. If any of you are on the Vortex trajectory and thinking about stepping off, I strongly encourage you to persevere with courses. Awakening to Divinity (last one) and Manifesting Intention (this one) are hard to describe they are so good!! Just Wow……and very few words. I feel so grateful to the Divine, to Amma, to my Vortex family and to Ric, for facilitating this course. The sense of awakeness is ever deeper and deeper. That’s the most amazing thing. And this sense of happiness and bliss arising from within, regardless of situations, amazes me… Everything is so soft…

I could just hug and kiss everyone! Probably not advisable though, in an airport lounge.

I am so looking forward to sharing this new energy of Manifesting Intention with you 🙂 🙂 🙂  Must go for now, but simply wanted to connect with you all and share this…this – whatever this is, in some way. I will write some coherent stuff soon. There’s a lot of new and interesting information with this course.

Much Love,

xDaisy

Love

Hello 🙂

How are you? 

I want to write a little about my experiences with Mother Meera during her visit to London, happening now. I have been fortunate enough to have been seeing her for around 10 years. Please see this website if you would like to know more:-

https://mothermeera.org.uk/

As soon as I was seated in the hall yesterday, there was this return to the natural state. It’s not that easy to put into words, but suddenly meditation was happening with no meditator and without any effort to meditate. I could feel Silence pouring like liquid gold through my body, and now and then there were rushes of something like energy, as if my cells were coming alive after a deep sleep. This took over, and in that takeover, I returned to innocence. Each thought, story and emotion which arose was unresisted and simply seen for what it was, without indulgence. Again, there was no efforting – it all seemed to happen without me. I sat like this for a long time. 

When it was my turn to join the queue for the staring Darshan, a bhajan from Amma began to ‘play’ in the background of my awareness 🙂 When I was in front of Mother Meera with her hands on my head, my mind came to a complete stop, and even this bhajan stopped. As she looked into my eyes, I experienced total and utter oneness…which seemed to pour itself into infinity. Everything left me – all suffering, all concepts – all things left. As I rose and walked down the steps after this, a different bhajan from Amma began to ‘play’ lightly once again 🙂 I sat for a long time afterwards. When Mother Meera did her group staring Darshan at the end, I noticed such a shift in the energy in the entire room… Did anyone else feel that? It was wonderful to see some of you there 🙂 and hopefully you all got my email detailing this visit a while back?. 

After I left with friends to eat together, several remarkable things happened that day, which I simply cannot see as anything but Divine synchronicity and Grace 🙂 Firstly, on the way home strangers kept talking to me – and this is on the tube in London!! One mother began to talk to me about her son skateboarding – a big part of my history in this life 🙂 On the next leg of my journey, a woman began to offer everyone her chocolate biscuits – literally opening them up to strangers in the carriage. I felt such a love for people radiating from this action and from within this woman…so much so that I commented on it, and she knew that she had this gift. It actually turned out that she used to serve me fish’n’chips in the area where I lived many years ago! This got me thinking of one of my closest friends in the world (whom I had become estranged from) who lived in that area too. Later that evening – and I’m not joking! – that friend called me, completely out of the blue, to apologise and ask if we could be friends again. Incredible… And then that night, my Mum and I started laughing together spontaneously like children – like we used to when we were both younger. We couldn’t stop! And then we hugged and made up about a stupid fight we’d had. I could hardly take in all the Grace… 

It really couldn’t have come at a better time. These last two months have been so painful… First my uncle died suddenly, then I broke up with my fiancé and then there grew this rift (described above) between my close friend and I. The pain of breaking with Steve got so intense that I was crying almost continuously, with bone-crushing emotional agony. In facing this depth of pain and loss without running away from it, I eventually experienced self-effulgence for perhaps the first time on my own. In the end, I was forced into the Light within myself. My heart still overflows with love and passion for Steve… And yet, simultaneously, there is a deep intuitive clarity that we cannot be together at this time. It’s the weirdest thing ever in my life. If I were to go against this, I would be sacrificing my integrity, and I simply cannot do that anymore. Even for the love of my life. 

I would love to hear your experiences with or after Mother Meera, so please don’t hesitate to write to me about them. Or about anything else (as I have demonstrated here! I hope you will forgive my indulgence :-). I look forward to seeing you or working with you again soon.

So much Love 🙂 🙂 🙂 

xDaisy

Grace

Hello 🙂

How are you? I am very well. This past week, as I was walking across Victoria station and thanking the universe for orchestrating my journey from East Sussex perfectly, I uttered audibly, “It’s Grace.” Then it hit me – but everything is. Even after awakening there can be this tendency to think of Grace as coming from ‘outside’. As the realisation dawned on me, I saw that it’s not like that at all. There is no outside. Everything is Grace. The intensification of oneness that followed stopped me in my tracks (sorry London commuters!). The truth is, Grace isn’t ‘given to us’ when we’re good, because Grace is the very substance of everything. It’s what we are and what everything is, pre-existing whether we think we are good or bad in any moment.

I will be in London giving sessions Thursday (tomorrow) – Saturday, for the last time before America. Please call or text to book. Otherwise please feel free to book a distance session at any other time. As a reminder, I will be away in America for further training in Vortex Healing from the 11th – 23rd October (that’s next week). NB I will have very limited digital access at that time.

If, like me, you want to see Amma in Europe at a few places and haven’t booked or arranged things yet, do so soon because places are getting booked up and prices are rising. I am only just getting onto it now.

The Adyashanti retreat in Surrey next August is now open for registration. It’s 7 nights – a special treat nowadays 🙂 I highly recommend this silent meditation retreat, which I feel is second only to being with Amma in person. Here is the link (do it now if you want to, because they always get overbooked):-

https://www.adyashanti.org/index.php?file=retreatsdetails1&eventid=1366

I leave you with this from Marlies Myoku Cocheret, whose recent email moved me deeply:-

Please take a moment to realize that everything can drop at any moment. This body, this mind, this or that feeling or sensation – not in your time, but Her time. Where do you want to put your attention when the moment comes…..which is every moment?!”

~ Marlies Myoku Cocheret

Love,

xDaisy

Sessions in London: Saturday – Tuesday

Hello 🙂

How are you? I am well, and enjoying country life here in East Sussex. Children are playing in the background, out in the sun, and I feel such peace in my heart. I really don’t have much to report or offer in words today, but wanted to let you know that I will be in London Saturday – Tuesday. The sessions I have left are on Monday and Tuesday, at a home in Camberwell where I am house-sitting. Distance sessions are available at any other time.

Please note that I will be continuing training in Vortex Healing® in America from the 11th – 23rd October, at which time I will not be offering sessions and will have limited digital access of any kind.

I leave you with this, which a friend just sent me from Adyashanti:-

You do not need to be perfect to be whole, you do not need to be worthy to be complete…

You are not here to be perfect. No one is perfect. You are here to love, and to love well.  ~ Adyashanti

Love,

xDaisy

Sessions in London: Fri (tomorrow) – Mon

Hello 🙂

I am now living in Ditchling temporarily, in a beautiful healing home full of yoga, Vortex and of course Amma, with friends 🙂 It’s stunning here… I can’t get over how lucky I am to have space, time and fire for embodiment, sadhana, self-healing and all the other things I love in life.

This is a short reminder that I will be in London this Fri – Mon inclusive. The spaces I have left are on Sunday and Monday, so please message me on WhatsApp or FB to book (or call me there / Skype.) Phone reception is terrible here, so internet is best for now. Or feel free to book a distant session on any other day.

Amma’s visit to London has been arranged now, thanks to the hard work of volunteers. She will be with us Friday 17th and Saturday 18th November (that’s the Devi Bhava) at Sandown Park Race Course. I will update you with details as they come in (they are not yet on the site).

I hope to see you in Londinium 🙂

Love,

xDaisy

Sessions In London: Saturday – Tuesday

Hello 🙂

How are you?

I had plans to write you an email of light and delight about my Amma trip, but after every spectacular Amma trip (as you may well know) there is a spectacular Amma comedown. Like everyone does, I thought I’d gotten away with it 😉 But it hit me upon waking this morning. One week isn’t bad though, it has to be said.

For the foreseeable future, I will be in London 3 / 4 days in a row per week (the journey is 3 hours door-to-door from Rodmell). If you reply to this email to let me know which day and time is ideal for you in general, then I will try my best to accommodate. I will next be in London from Sat – Tues. I would also like to encourage you to try distance sessions if you haven’t yet. Aside from there being something uniquely profound about this style of healing, it is also because I cannot come to London every day. Unsurprisingly, I am tired at this point, having lived in 5 different homes over the past 3 months, completed half of Amma’s Tour and continued to process a particularly painful personal life situation. Therefore, being able to be here in the depths of nature as much as possible is helping all of this immensely.

Mother Meera is in London during the coming week, so if you would like to meet / visit her, here is the link. I may be attending on Tues morning:-

http://mothermeera.org.uk/index.shtml

Here is what Wiki says about her, in case it’s your first time. I love her, yet I always like to peruse the non-hyped version:-

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mother_Meera

That’s all for now. Do keep me posted on you (best by message / call at the moment). Love,

xDaisy

Bank Holiday Deal on Monday! Plus Wed, Fri and Sat in London

Hello 🙂

How are you?

I am well and happy 🙂 I am also facing some very strong challenges indeed in my housing situation here in Brighton. I want to share them, yet feel it is inappropriate to do so, certainly at this stage. But suffice to say that when the spiritual rubber really hits the road in human life, I am left feeling so glad and grateful that I have led the examined (rather than the unexamined) life, not least for all the tools this has given me to face such situations. In particular, Amma’s presence and Grace in my life is proving no less than a Godsend at the moment.

As a result of all this, I have only just fully woken up to the fact that it is Bank Holiday this Monday. The offer is on, of special half-price £45 sessions (via Skype) 🙂 So please call / text / email me if you would like to take advantage of this.

I will also be in the Barbican on Wednesday and doing home visits in London on part of Friday and part of Saturday. The rest of the time distance healing is available via Skype 🙂

Wishing you well,

Much Love,

xDaisy

Contemplation in the Sun

Hello 🙂

How are you?

First of all, I want to let you know that I will be in London on Wednesday this week in the Barbican. I need the rest of the week to sort out my housing situation in Brighton, which needs turning around within literally 7 days. Skype sessions are available though, of course.

I had one of those moments today, where I was between work (equine assisted therapy and a little job I do for a friend in London) and I stepped out into the sun in the garden where I was. I was immediately struck by the ordinary beauty of things. Simply the other buildings, the music from a party somewhere in the background, and the sky. Finally I could stop for a while, and I did. My mind began to chatter and then to fade, melting into my heart as often it does. It felt so good to feel, to be barefoot on the ground and to be able to loaf for an hour, with nothing to do! I felt so free… Silence pervaded completely. Eventually a thought came: What if I spent the rest of my life just being free? Something opened wider within, in this contemplation. I mean, what if any of us simply chose inner freedom, true peace, right now – and for every ‘now’ forever? I am well aware that this makes no sense in a way! But can you feel into what I’m saying? In other words, what if you, reading this right now, never ever left whatever realisation you have had about the true nature of what you are?

The next thought that came was, What would that take? I saw that it would require a willingness to relinquish all future plans. I also saw I would need to never leave what I know and to never believe or follow through on another thought / piece of negativity. It was humbling…to say the least.

Anyway, I wanted to share this exploration with you now, in hindsight, to see if you resonate with it or have perhaps had a similar kind of insight too? 🙂 Please do write with your comments on this.

Love,

xDaisy

Self No Other

Hello,

How are you? I have had to wittle this group down due to technicalities with Yahoo, so I hope no one I’ve knocked off feels left out. I am thinking of you all with a warm and surrendered heart and wondering where life is taking you… Please do write with your stories – they are always welcome 🙂

Thank you to those of you who responded to my last email; I feel your warmth and compassion. I know some of you have been concerned and wondering how I am, so I thought I’d fill you in a little and update you on this process, hopefully in a way that speaks to you and your process too. What I am going through in its deepest essence at the moment is heartbreak. I’m sure many of you have been through this too. So unexpected and so very deep, yet at least I know I have loved fully. I have heard some people say to me that they have never been in love before, even people who are quite a lot older than I am, and (perhaps) that is saddest of all.

The process has been that through fully embracing this heartbreak, as much as I am able in my fragile humanness, there is a continuing kind of breakdown breakthrough and entering into Divinity. I want to credit here my sadhana practice, Amma, Adyashanti and Vortex Healing and the engagement in these. There was also a sudden breakthrough during a group healing I was lucky enough to be part of – many thanks Chetana and Will Thornton. I was amazed at the turnaround and transformation after receiving this healing – almost like night and day – and the subsequent sense of completely withdrawing into the Self. Here is what I wrote about it in an email afterwards:-

“I just want to share that something has completely left me since this healing. Now I feel as if there is only the Self itself, and that’s all. It’s like nothingness, but not that empty feeling of emotional vacuum at all. It’s devoid of noise, there is only Silence. Grounded in Self now.”

In my diary I reflected further:-

“So this is it. It was always here. Right here… No wonder no one could give it to me. What this is could never be bought nor sold. ‘The peace which surpasses all understanding’, now I know You. Now I know You… You are this – are me. It’s not outside, it never was outside.”

When I arose the following morning, I knew I had to move home to Brighton. It’s funny because I have just remembered in writing this, that Eckhart Tolle once said one day he simply knew he had to move to North America. Moving as Self, it’s not a question of working things out. It’s letting go without end.

I will be coming to London every week to see you for sessions, so please don’t worry about that. I expect I will move around the beginning of April. Please do not hesitate to email or call me if you have any questions about this.

With Love in my heart,

xDaisy

The Invitation Of Suffering

Hello,

Happy Shivaratri! Today Shiva’s energy pours into creation, like the sword of Truth cutting through vines of illusion, the perfect day to let go of all remaining attachments the ‘me’ is clinging to. With the addition of the full lunar eclipse coming on Sunday, you may be feeling like doing nothing rather than planning / manifesting. If so, I would really encourage you to trust this instinct, drawing awareness inside into the heart of Life. This is a fantastic time to engage in that inner dive, via sadhana, chanting, bhajans, relaxation, quietness, or whatever you feel truly drawn to.

Before I engage in the subject of my email today, I would like to announce two pieces of good news. Firstly, my close friend who I described in earlier emails is now cancer-free! Upon discovering this information from doctors, she said, “This is a miracle”. Considering that her father died suddenly in the middle of her cancer treatment, and that initially the cancer was seen as potentially fatal, I am inclined to agree with this statement. The other news is that my friend Daniel has been made into a Vortex Healing teacher. I can’t think of anybody I would rather be in this position 🙂

Now, aside from these wonderful things, I have been in the midst of deep personal suffering since the beginning of the year, the likes of which I have rarely experienced in this lifetime. The process is a mixture of internal and external, becoming so excruciating that I was basically left with three directions in which to go with it: 1) into the victim, 2) into improving my life in an attempt to fight back against things or 3) into Truth and a total embrace of what is. Once the first two were seen through, I was left with no choice but to take the third option. The way this all looked in real terms by the way, was a bloody mess. Yet I came to realise gradually that the suffering, which I had always managed to bypass in some way in the past without seeing that that was what I was doing, wasn’t going anywhere – if anything it was getting worse. That was the moment at which I was finally, genuinely, willing to lose to Life. It was at once a recognition of which of ‘us’ (though ironically there was no experience of separation) was stronger – that Life itself was simply much more immense than any remaining sense of me, and also a feeling of being crushed into oblivion by my own conditioning, or by God – honestly, I don’t even know which it was – but whatever it was, it worked. What I mean by ‘it worked’ is that suffering itself became the invitation into freedom, Truth, God, Love. I took it, and I continuously now accept that invitation on a moment to moment to moment basis. The felt sense is like a huge weight has been lifted off my body and there is a simple and profound texture of oneness pervading everything in experience. I have had many ‘drops’ into this before, but this time there is a sense of permanence (if I can use that word), of a not-coming-and-going, but a resting of oneness in / as this form.

So to save you time and struggle, I suggest this as a practice for you too. Begin to notice the nature of your suffering now: is it really something which shouldn’t be there? Can you receive it fully right now?

Listen to your gut instinct. From there you will sense your true Yes and your true No, both to these questions and more importantly to the situations, people and choices in your life.

Love,

xDaisy

Dharma Love

Hello,

How are you? I am well, feeling fully in the love-stream-flow today.

I have been reflecting recently on what really heals people the most. I have to say it is Love. Sounds obvious, but let me be more specific. When asked what practices we should do when we are not with her, Amma said only one word: “Sangha”. This means community, gathering together in and as what we truly value. In addition to a satsang setting, such as the wonderful Villa Devi offering, this quality of life happens naturally within dharmic friendship. It’s a phrase Adyashanti uses to describe the kind of friendship between two people on an awakening path. Touching this kind of friendship is incredibly transformative… You bounce off one another in your deepest places, encouraging each other to grow and face life with laughter and passion and warmth. Without any effort at all, the world seems to widen and disappear as the oneness you both are when you are together.

So I really encourage this. Yes, have healings, yes, do sadhana (spiritual practices), but often overlooked as an intense spiritual practice is – Call your true friend, get together, open your hearts to one another. No healing can truly take place without this kind of love and depth and intimacy.

The other thing which has been on my mind to share with you, is the way in which shifts move in most people, and the sometimes resulting confusion of this. Let’s say you have a shift or an awakening. Really the description doesn’t matter because when something like this happens to you, it is beyond doubt and needs no external affirmation. Perhaps for a while, there is a deep and overriding felt sense of oneness, Truth, Divinity. And then, it may feel like this goes away. This is the point at which it is very easy for cynicism, doubt or confusion to take control. You may even tell yourself that nothing really happened. In actual fact, often what did happen was a permanent shift: what was there before, never actually returned. Yet the sense of this can feel distant.

In my perception and experience, what has normally happened is that the sense of oneness / transformation has become ‘normal’ – it’s integrated into the background, into the body. But it can feel like you’re back to square one and that you’ve ‘lost it’. The tendency, then, is to give up too easily, listening to cynicism, fear or doubt. The thing at this point, is to keep going, with an attitude of open receptivity. The reality of living awakening / Truth / Love / oneness / transformation / healing is that most people are not going to have an awakening / liberation / enlightenment along the lines of Amma, Ramana Maharshi, Adyashanti, Eckhart Tolle or Tony Parsons. Even though these beings are here inspiring us and showing the way in an absolutely crucial sense, I think it is misleading to believe that ‘my path’ will be the same as theirs. And this belief leads to a great deal of misunderstanding.

Your experience is your experience, and no teaching can get you out of it, no teaching can change what you are going to have to go through to satisfy that yearning for awakening / Divinity / transformation inside you. For most people, awakening embodiment evolution is a life-long thing. It’s really like that. It’s not something with a ‘final ending’, and it’s not something which happens in a flash and stays feeling like that forever. It simply doesn’t work like that, except for a tiny minority of people. And that minority is highly unlikely to be you. Awakening is a blood and guts thing and you have to get your hands dirty. So quit spiritually bypassing, throw yourself into the arms of Divinity, of the private Silence within you, of your friends and of your suffering. I say this equally to myself as I do to you!

Finally, here is a piece of writing I did on a Day Retreat with Chetana and Will in the Sussex countryside. I hope you enjoy it:-

Divinity Intended

I cannot speak…for talking this out is nothing at all anymore. This Silence bears witness to all of that and is also all of that. No need for words anymore. My silent spoken friend, awareness, finally stayed after his tea was drunk.

I saw what is true for me and accepted the somehow burden of it. This being done, You came in again. Then, the deeper revelation – the surrender……. No holding back this time. You showed me all, You revealed Yourself in the night, in the day, in the detail – all at once. That timeless moment – Now. All my burdens are laid down in You. All my heavy weighty blindness and my deafness to Your song is gone. Now I see it all. The game that I played – You knew my every move. You were always bathing it in that Light, yet only now can I see this.

What needs to happen, needs to happen. Yes, this is true. But what I failed to understand was the pitch perfect way this is all going. The sheerness of a thousand songs called out in Your name. It must be as it is and as it will be. You are the One, I am That. I found You again, and in the finding, I am no longer me. No longer isolated from You, my beautiful Muse, my all, my everything. I didn’t know that this way is the way. This precise way which you are unfolding… Divinity Intended. Not outside anymore, not happening to a me. Divinity Intended. A button unbuttoned and a comb combed. The jeans and the hair of Existence.

What has to happen…it’s unfolding, opening – at Its pace alone. Only Your rhythm exists. You lovemaker… It’s all happening now, and now, and now. There is no other; no other at all. This is Your game, and I feel no distance from You anymore. Somehow, I have not transferred this, not managed to translate this – the incredible depth of what is here.

Love,

xDaisy

Ammathon!

Hello 🙂

How was your Ammathon in London? I hope you got to see her. I had a wonderful time. Some highlights included getting Darshan with Mum in which Amma recognised her from 14 years ago, doing Arati for Amma (the flame) and feeling so deeply the sense of family and community. Also, I love to serve, especially Embracing the World, so that’s always good 🙂 I got a deep sense when doing the Arati to Amma that “I’m ok”, as if that was being said by Amma / Divine / my true Self. Sounds small, but it was actually very big for me. There was so much else, but I can’t write it all now. I will keep it brief as I am very tired and have yet to pack because……..

I have decided to go to the Netherlands with Amma at the last minute! I will be back on Thursday. Sorry that I couldn’t give you more notice about this.

I leave you with my two favourite quotes from Amma:-

(on meditation) “The mind automatically becomes still in the presence of Love”

and

(on being scolded for wildly serving) “In compassion, there are no rules”

Much Love and fond wishes to you,

xDaisy

Amma in London 11th – 12th October (all-nighter: 12th)

Hello 🙂

I am writing to remind you of the exciting news that Amma will soon be with us here in London 🙂 On Tuesday no less! If you are thinking of coming, it’s really important to allow much more time than you think you need. Either because queuing for a Darshan token takes longer, or because you want to stay in the energy longer, or you bump into that long lost friend etc. Something always happens with Amma. The atmosphere is teeming with life, with shakti, with all good things 🙂 I have been feeling her presence in the last 2 days in particular…there is this alive quietness speaking something…a language I don’t understand but that I knew long ago, and still know somehow – somewhere deep inside.

I will be on the massage area, most likely on the massage chairs, so do come and visit if you are there.

I have got hold of the Q&A I had with Adyashanti this summer during the retreat. It has given me a lot of cause to reflect on this awakening embodiment evolution and what stillness really truly is. If you would like to hear it, let me know and I can arrange it via Dropbox.

I hope this email finds you well and diving the deep inner dive to Truth. Enjoy this evening,

Love,

xDaisy

Underneath All Currents

Hello 🙂

How are you? I feel relieved that Equinox was on Wednesday (they say ‘living in a world of plenty’) and that Mercury retrograde ended on Thursday. Seeing Bjork live at the Royal Albert Hall in conjunction with these events was pure magic 🙂 I also noticed how incredibly deep the satsang went on Thursday evening at Villa Devi, which other people in the group also reported. As a reminder, we chant (amongst other things) the 108 Names the 1000 Names of the Divine Mother (Archana), sing bhajans and meditate – inspired by Amma.

I have been into Bjork’s musical genius since the age of 13, and have now seen her live 5 times over a period of 21 years. Yes – I used to be obsessed! I had a moment before I walked into the auditorium this time, which I wanted to share with you. I was in the loo putting on my lipgloss. Suddenly I felt this Silence deepen and come in through my body from the left, like a liquid. As I looked at myself in the mirror, I realised something which in words would be, “I know who I am now”. I could feel the qualitative difference from when I used to come and see Bjork – now the tangible quality of Beingness, you could say, was here and was seen as what I actually am. The freedom felt immense; the freedom of not-knowing yet knowing, I guess you could call it Realising – I am This, this Silence. And I want to specify, it isn’t knowing who I am the way people usually say that – “She knows who she is” – about someone with charisma or power, for example. Not that. And it isn’t knowing as such, in the way we normally mean that. It is genuinely perceiving my own nature and the nature of all things and beings. Without filtration, without ‘winning’, without ‘losing’, without anything… There is such relief when you know that; a deep alleviation of that nagging separate feeling that dogs you before, which I see in so many people’s eyes. The point of sharing this, apart from simply sharing, is to use myself as an example of the fact that it is true that Silence is our nature and that one can certainly discover that in a genuine way, if one is interested in doing so.

I have been enjoying the sessions with you so much recently… They have taken on a different quality, an other-worldliness, as my sensing unfolds itself into your systems and as Grace makes its mysterious appearance often. I feel honoured that you would share all of your process with me – the laughter, the tears, the cosmic side, the dark side and all the sides of you. Thank you.

To finish I would like to share with you my favourite Bjork song. I have chosen a link without a video, to enhance the listening aspect, in the hope that the song will drop deeper into your ears. When I first discovered this song, I was about 14 and I fell in love with it. I experienced all kinds of deep emotions inside my room listening to it and often crying. Nowadays I perceive it as being a piece about Stillness. Whatever it is doesn’t really matter, it is a work of art in the truest sense: full, empty, meaningful and meaning-free.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=17yWeynOfOI

Love,

xDaisy

ToDay of Manifestation

Hello 🙂

I have heard on the grapevine that today is an excellent day for manifesting….. 🙂 It would be a good idea for you to do something to bridge into your life what you need, want or what is your deepest desire in this lifetime.

Perhaps you could simply sit, allow Silence to prevail, and then call out from your heart to Divinity for what you want, as a deep prayer. Everyone will have their own version of what this looks and feels like. I felt called to do my own version this morning and it felt wonderful 🙂 Very blissful, which actually surprised me 🙂

Here is a little inspiration on your way:-

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lf6TQoQmiPk

Love,

xDaisy

Amma in London: 11th & 12th October

Hello 🙂

How are you? I wanted to tell you the exciting news that Amma is almost with us! I realised yesterday that the dates are drawing near – in just over a month Amma will be here in Alexandra Palace with us. So make sure to book your time off. It is FREE. You just need to queue for your free darshan token, whilst enjoying the buzzing atmosphere full of shakti delight 🙂 All proceeds go to the global humanitarian aid charity Embracing the World, and no one in the entire organisation is being paid, including Amma herself. Isn’t that cool? So cool… Visit me in the massage area if you like.

Here is the link for the whole Europe tour, in case you feel inspired to go and see her elsewhere too:-

http://www.amma-europe.org/ammas-tour.html

What else to say…? The sun is shining, my sessions with you are a constant source of joy and inspiration…as with the equine assisted therapy…the Silence remains strong and present…and I am eating ramen soup – my favourite 🙂

Let me know if you need anything, or want to talk through your deepening process,

Love,

xDaisy

Silent Meditation Retreat with Adyashanti

Hello,

I must say I am thrilled to have the opportunity to deepen into this great, deep silence……….who knows what will happen in this great adventure into the unknown? The inner dive, swan dive, into mystery. I will be unavailable in communication – on a silent meditation retreat – from tomorrow until the 22nd Aug, when I will be back in action.

I want to share a few more learnings from the Ammathon (as a friend rightly called it!), which I hope will benefit you. During the program in Toronto, Amma said something which really struck me. She said, “Vasanas have no power of their own. It is we who give them power.” I realised in that moment, how powerless negativity really is. Her statement also cut through, in me, the tendency to become so familiar with something, that I begin to misuse it. What I mean is that I have talked about my ‘vasanas’ (latent negative tendencies) or issues or behaviour so many times, I can forget that it is I myself who permits them to have the power they have and who actually gives that power to them. I thought this could strike a chord for many of you as well. I would add that it is our tendency to identify with such internal arisings, which is the mechanism by which we give them the most power.

The most core life story I had, the one which had most coloured my experience of reality in this lifetime, came up during the last couple of days with Amma. We save the best for last, don’t we? For me, that was the love story – the agony and the ecstasy of romantic love, and underlying that, the nagging feeling that the right relationship would fulfil me and close any remaining ‘gap’. This probably sounds familiar to some of you, perhaps to many of you. I know – it’s a hard one to admit! I am not going to share the private details of that, sorry 😉 But please bear with me anyway. There is something more important than that part of the story. It began on the treadmill, of all places, not somewhere I frequently find myself. But going to the gym occasionally, during the tour, helped me get time by myself (which is almost completely impossible on staff) and helped me move energetics that were stuck. Suddenly on this treadmill, the desire to be free of that core story hit me, like never before. I simply HAD to be free of it; I could carry it all no more. So with this fire, I made a silent cry – a prayer – within, to Amma. With that, I let go, knowing that it could go either way: perhaps I would get free of this pattern, perhaps I would not – it was in the hands of Divinity now.

Shortly after this, Amma did a Q&A with the retreat group outside, in the unseasonably hot evening sun. There were only about 500 of us there. Right from the beginning, I felt a large amount of fear and anxiety coursing through my system, to the point where I could barely sit still. I didn’t know why I was feeling this way, it was like a body thing. I decided to focus more intensely on the question that was happening, and on Amma’s answer. As I looked at Amma, she made a certain movement as she talked with her hands, and with that I was gone. I felt as if I was merging into Amma from where I was – it was part-visual, part-kinesthetic (akin to the way I sense, during a session). As this happened, any remaining sense of separation fell away and I began to cry. In this oneness and tears and the whole un-conveyable experience, I suddenly knew that all my desire, lack and longing for this person – and all women and men who I had ever felt that towards – was really the longing for God. I simply knew it. Not as a concept and not as a philosophy, and not as an excuse. I actually saw it. I saw it in such a way, that it felt like I could never actually un-see it. I also sensed intuitively that all my other desires were also the longing for God. I felt freed at last…….truly, truly free.

(NB God in my perception is also Truth, wholeness, unity, oneness etc.) The next thoughts were, “Why have I been running after men and women all this time?” and “How could I have missed this reality all these years?” Then the strangest thing happened: I experienced depression for the first time in my life. As I sat, purposefully alone, eating dinner, I felt depressed. But there was absolutely no resistance to it. The sense of oneness was so broad and pervasive, that there was absolutely no problem with feeling depressed. In fact, I was pleased to be having the experience, because before that I never understood what depression was. I knew what pain was, deep gruelling emotional pain, but I didn’t know depression until that moment. I then experienced suicidal ideation! But again, there was no problem with this either, because there was zero resistance to it. And it existed in a context of oneness, of Love. After about an hour, both of these so-called negative experiences passed of their own accord, without me doing anything at all about them.

In hindsight, I believe they occurred because my ego had just lost its trump card, which was the core love story drama. With that gone, it seems like it had to play the depression and suicide cards to try to regain ‘control’ of my bodymind. But that didn’t work: these feelings and thoughts simply passed through, as I said. So then I was just there: story-less and One, feeling a sense of ordinariness and freedom. Nothing special, yet complete liberation.

I make my newsletters personal because I don’t believe I can help unless I talk from my own direct experience. I hope that by reading this something may have resonated or sparked for you.

See you soon, after the retreat,

Love,

xDaisy

Out of the Blue

Hello,

First off I want to tell you about an upcoming training in the IAM, Amma’s meditation technique, which came to her in a vision while she was taking a nighttime stroll around the ashram many years ago. I highly recommend it to anyone looking for a way to connect with Divinity, a fantastic meditation technique or simply a way to unwind, calm thinking down or relax the nervous system. Whatever intention you bring to it, will gradually manifest in your life. It is being held in Brighton / Lewes on the 17th / 18th September. The cost to cover room hire etc. is £35; please contact me if you are interested.

My next recommendation is the Foundational Vortex Healing course being held here in London, 19th – 23rd September with Anthony Gorman. It is hard to begin to explain what Vortex Healing has brought into my life so far because it is so broad and deep. I was thinking recently about why I practice Vortex Healing more than the other helping modalities I am trained in. I came to the simple conclusion that, in my personal and professional experience, it is more effective at deepening you into the core of what you are and releasing the roots of what you aren’t, than any other modality of help I have trained in or experienced first hand.

Now back to the Amma tour this summer 🙂 It was interesting to hear Amma explain in an aside during one of her talks in L.A., that the external aspect of Kali – the fierce appearance – is designed to bring out the dormant doubt in the devotee. I immediately thought of those of you who have felt that Amma has glared at you or ignored you etc. over the years. If she is indeed an embodiment of Kali (which I personally believe), then this might help you make sense of what she is doing there. From my perspective, no action Amma makes is unconscious, and Yes – she can bestow focus on many many people at once. Anyone who has experienced the ‘staring Darshan’ at the end of Devi Bhava will know about this. When she is ‘Kali with us’, perhaps Amma is indeed purposefully bringing out the poison of doubt in the process of life and Divinity. If this kind of insecurity exists within in a suppressed state – for example, as cynicism – it gives rise to all kinds of distortions and disorders in the experience of living, not to mention in the body. On a similar note, it is not uncommon for people to not want to be with Amma if they have strong issues with their own mother. It is easy to put your birth mother’s face over Amma’s face, subtly and subconsciously projecting onto her. If you had painful childhood experiences, you may then fear that she will hurt you in some way, get angry with you, punish you for something you did or ignore you etc. If this sounds like you, you may even find that when you approach her for Darshan, that you have negative thoughts towards Amma. All of that is part of the process of you healing from things which are sometimes unimaginably deep in your system. It will not hurt Amma in any way. In fact, she has been known to ask us to project anger and negativity onto her using the Amma dolls, in order to release in a harmless way. It is possible to see at some point, that the thoughts you have towards Amma are really thoughts you harbour towards yourself.

On a different note, Amma is really urging us all to plant trees if possible, adding the chilling words that, “when we cut down trees, remember we are building our own coffin.” She is also encouraging anyone who has outside space to plant a small vegetable garden and try to eat the produce from that. This means we will not go hungry when food runs short in the future and we will also avoid consuming the pesticides etc. on supermarket vegetables. Not to mention that we save money and get in touch with the earth at the same time 🙂

Now for a little story 🙂 I had a profound experience of Divine Intention during this tour with Amma. Having something like that really changes your life, because before that the idea that the Divine can reach into your life and move it in a certain direction is often just that – an idea, perhaps a hope, or a dream. Here is what happened to me. Out-of-the-blue, during Devi Bhava in Toronto (the final stop on the tour), my boss told my friend and I to go and sit with Amma on the stage. We were understandably astonished, because this lady is known for wanting people to work very hard. We jumped at the chance and made our way onto the stage. We stood beside the ‘bouncer’, an entertaining yet stern man who always wears a suit, and manages the part of the stage nearest to Amma on all the US tour programs. Again out-of-the-blue, he invited us to sit together directly next to Amma. Let me explain that this never happens! It was really out of character for him. We felt so lucky, and beamed at one another 🙂 As I watched her up-close, each movement Amma made as she gave Darshan would bridge me deeper into presence… Then, she suddenly turned and looked at both of us directly, smiling. It was amazing… That look will never leave me. It was a look of the purest knowing… It was so rich, so full… Both my friend and I reported the same things: it felt like Amma was communicating that she herself had brought us into this tour on staff, and that this exchange with her was a kind of ‘graduation’. We both felt this deep sense of Amma acknowledging all the seva we had done, and of the inner work we had done and also we felt this incredible depth of solidarity between us. We felt as if Amma had given each one to the other to help us complete the tour. Somehow I knew, intuitively, that I had just had a real life experience of Divine Intention. And in the wake of that, doubt vanished. I wish I could put this all into words better. But maybe it isn’t possible to do that. The mystery manifesting into creation, manifesting in all kinds of ways, every moment… You can see why the wise men (and women) say, better to sit as silence.

I hope you enjoyed this email and that you are getting plenty of sun 🙂

Love,

Daisy

Why Amma?

Hello,

How are you Londoners and people of the world? 🙂 I hope if you are in London that you are enjoying this heat wave we are lucky enough to be having 🙂

I want to address a question today which people often ask me, or ask me without words. Why Amma? Why do I do this? Why go and pay a handsome fee to work without pay, under conditions which some would consider harsh?

The answer is simple: it’s love. I look at Amma, and I love her. The depth of that love makes me want to support her work, serve Embracing the World (her global charity), and beyond that, to serve life in its entirety. For me, it’s passion; it’s not a ‘being good’ thing. It’s not even spiritual. Imagine being in love…now times it by 500…that’s nowhere near it. This is bhakti (devotion) in real terms.

Everyone has their own particular relationship with Amma, and certainly Amma devotees are all there for different reasons. Some of my friends, clients and family feel put off by the culty appearance of it all, by some of the devotees (who can be far from loving) and by the pretentious ‘holier than thou’ dynamics. Those of you who know me even a little bit, know I am definitely not the poster girl for holiness 🙂 No; it’s a love thing. Pure and simple.

So, what were the physical realities of being on volunteer tour staff, you may wonder. In my particular seva, we were working around 14 hours per day (every day) and longer on a Devi Bhava (the all-nighter). We got roughly 5 hours sleep per night, on the floor, sharing a room and bathroom with between 6 and 40 women. Then, after the long Devi Bhava, we would get on a coach and travel to the next city. Some of those journeys were over 22 hours long. When we arrived, we would sometimes get only a few hours sleep before set-up and work began. We delivered programs in 10 cities, over a 6-week period.

In between all this, I would squeeze my way onto the stage to spend time with Amma. Occasionally, Amma would call the staff to receive Darshan. I would like to share with you my diary entry about this:-

6/6/16

I don’t know how possible it is to put this into words…

Impossible.

*  *  *  *  *  *  *

But let me try.

Amma called us for Darshan in Seattle on Devi Bhava. As I entered the stage in the queue, I decided to make a prayer within. I said something like, ‘Amma, please assist me in focussing on the goal of this life: on realising God. Please help me to remain focussed even during this tour.’

As I laid my eyes upon her, hugging the person in front, tears welled up. I felt this love for her that was beyond anything I had ever experienced, and yet ordinarily human at the same time. I simply rejoiced within, at the sight of her. She moved my head around quite a bit before finally placing it on her heart, while she answered the questions of some devotees to her right. It always amazes me how one never feels left out in this scenario: Amma’s attention is deeply with each one of us simultaneously, which is testament to the sheer depth of oneness she is living. She then kissed my cheek and embraced me, chanting in my ear with a kind of vehemence in her voice, “My daughter! My daughter! My daughter!”, over and over again. I fell into total oneness…….. At the same time, the human being felt her as my teacher and as my mother – somewhere where those two are one and the same. And the experience of trust was overwhelming. As Amma finished the hug and handed me prasad, we drew back from one another and she looked deeply into my eyes. I cannot adequately express in words what I felt pass between us in that exchange: it was simply beyond the beyond. I then felt deep gratitude and expressed it somehow from oneness. Amma’s expression altered to one of such profound compassion….…something just too immense to convey. She embraced me again and then placed a chocolate in my mouth. That was the moment at which my searching gently stopped. My life’s search ceased in that moment. It was, perhaps, what many teachers have described as the end of seeking. Immediately after this I experienced true happiness: powerful, pure, authentic, unconditional happiness. I felt restored, redeemed – completely. There was total and utter wholeness. I’m not talking conceptually here, but actually. The real thing.

As I walked away, I collapsed on the stage in tears beside Amma. I was crying, and then I was sobbing; there was no way to do anything at all, and I couldn’t stop. But I was actually sobbing with happiness. My heart broke open under a force: that of revelation, unconditional happiness, union…Truth. Simultaneously, I experienced a spontaneous healing of my past, which came from nowhere. Dad’s death, the break-ups, the childhood trauma, the fear, isolation, despair, loss, loneliness, lack and doubt – all of these were consumed by something I cannot describe. I cried and cried, wiping my make-up from my face with my sleeve, only to cry uncontrollably again.

When the crying eventually stopped, I sat for a while. When I left the stage, I felt empty in the true sense of the word. Emptied of separation, of that heavy anxious burden. And the very subtle sense that something is missing, was gone. I could rest…finally, I could rest…… The feeling of resting and oneness were beautiful……profound. Paradoxically, there was an abundant feeling of vitality at the same time. But it was vitality without ownership. I realised that rest and vitality are the same thing. Eventually I went about the day, without saying a word about it to anyone.”

I hope you enjoy your day and that I get to see you soon 🙂

Love,

xDaisy

Pilgrimage to Paradise

Hello sunshine lovers, energy enthusiasts and helpers of mankind,

My title refers to an old trance tune on Sourmash records, which was helpful in bringing me towards spirit in my teenage years. In a deeper way, I am referring to what I am about to do in June: I am very excited – and honoured – to have been given a staff position on Amma’s US tour! I will be volunteering in the clothing boutique. It’s funny because I was thinking of ways I might get into the feminine and embody that more, and then I got given this position 🙂 Feel free to ask me any questions you may have about what I will be doing or what the tour involves.

Are any of you going to be there, or thinking of going to a couple of stops? Here are the stops in full:-

Seattle, WA

June 4-5 Public Program

San Ramon, CA

June 7-9 Public Program

June 10-12 Retreat

June 12 Evening Public Program

Los Angeles, CA

June 14-16 Public Program

Santa Fe, NM

June 18-19 Public Program

June 20-22 Retreat

June 22 Evening Public Program

Dallas, TX

June 24-25 Public Program

Chicago, IL

June 27-29 Public Program

New York, NY

July 1-3 Public Program

Boston, MA

July 5-6 Public Program

Washington, DC

July 8-9 Public Program

Toronto, ON

July 11 Public Program

July 12-14 Retreat

July 14 Evening Public Program

I will be away from the 3rd June to the 16th July without internet or phone access, so please do get all your sessions in before then.

I have been re-doing the Art of Meditation with Adyashanti this week and wanted to share some of the wisdom with you. Adya discusses the fact that awakening is not just an initial moment in which the I falls away, but it is also an ongoing unfolding. And for that part, meditation is crucial. In this sense, he disagrees with non-dual teachings – and I think rightly so – which tend to discourage practice (albeit covertly). Even if it is not said outright, the implication in many non-dual teachings is that practice is not all that important. Yet I simply haven’t met anyone who is deeply embodied as their true nature who has not engaged deeply in ongoing practices. So from my point of view, I wholeheartedly agree with Adyashanti on this important and often perplexing point. Please do offer your experiences with this, as I would be interested in them.

Bye for now, and do call or contact me before the 3rd June,

Love,

xDaisy

This Love

Hello 🙂

This is a new day,

This is a brand new day!

Your crimson tide washes over my heart,

This Love,

This Love…

I wish I could more accurately translate to you the sense of doing the 1000 Names this morning. It leaves a perfume, a scent, of such depth and bliss…and ultimately pure non-separation, oneness. If you are not doing a regular practice, I highly recommend starting today. Even if you only do a 15 minute meditation in the morning or at night, you will find that over time you begin to see clearly again, the way you used to as a child. To see things AS THEY ARE. What a huge privilege…! In fact, Amma has said:-

I didn’t come to teach anyone anything. I came to remind you of a song you once knew, but have since forgotten  ~ Amma

It’s quite a statement coming from an avatar, the one kind of being who actually can truly teach, directly, and with acute accuracy. So we can see then, that this enlightenment game is really not about teachers or teachings. It’s about something else entirely… I would dearly love to hear your thoughts on what it is about, so please write to me about this 🙂 Also, please do join me on Facebook. Search for Daisy Nokes. I know I went through a privacy period, but that is over now.

How did you fair over Shivaratri on Monday, followed by the solar eclipse and Picses supermoon on Tues and Wed? Yes, that much did happen! The Shiva day, from my point of view, is about stillness manifesting into creation (sometimes in a variety of ways 😉 and the solar eclipse creates a deep purging of old pain, so that new projects can blossom. The supermoon in Picses represents the unconscious of humanity, the collective unconscious, what is being denied, coming out and releasing. I would love to hear any stories you have about Mon, Tues and Wed 🙂

If you feel you would like to join in with weekly coming-togethers of like hearted souls, just to remind you that I am going to Villa Devi in London every week to sing and chant and be with Amma devotees. It is a deeply transformative and amazing way to deepen your practices or path and to gain the sense of community. Let me know if you would like to be put on their mailing list.

Some of the results I have been getting through working with the U-AP level of Vortex Healing are remarkable. A client rang me to say that she “couldn’t feel anything” and she was concerned that she was emotionally disconnected. But when I looked into her system I could see that the work we had done together was so transformative that she had lost an entire ‘place’ or position in consciousness from which she had been living her life up until now. That is the power of this healing art combined with the way I work with Amma. I always wanted something which could actually remove issues, not just make the prison more comfortable, but actually deconstruct the prison piece by piece. Thank goodness I found Amma and Vortex Healing and that I am able to share that deconstruction with you, in you. This is the deepest gift I have ever been given.

I also facilitated a session this week in which I worked on the core position underlying back pain that my client had had for over 8 years, and with which she had been working in a variety of very helpful ways. Yet somehow the pain remained. Immeditately after the session she was able to flex her lower back again and the pain was barely noticeable! She also remarked that her voice had changed. This is something wonderful which can happen after a session, as if the person is speaking from a different place and without something ‘in the way’, that something being the issue worked on.

There was also a beautiful moment when I was doing some awakening coaching with a client and I asked her (because she was feeling a lack of clarity) what clarity meant to her. She replied simply, “Knowing my Truth and moving towards it”. I knew immediately that it was a pivotal moment for this person, because once you speak so authentically out loud the Divine hears (and you yourself hear) that and the transformation of life truly begins anew.

Ok that’s all for now. A bit of a long one – thank you for bearing with me 🙂 I feel very over-excited!

Love to you, beautiful blessed being,

Daisy

The Vortex Healing Way of Sensing / Psychic Perception

Hello 🙂

This weekend and last week I was lucky enough to have the opportunity to re-take the Vortex Healing classes Sensing and Advanced Sensing, with Anthony Gorman. I want to share with you some of what I discovered, in order to illustrate what you may be able to experience through taking classes in this amazing healing art, and also to share some of my journey since I am the person in service to your unfoldment when you have sessions with me.

Here is what I wrote in my notes on day 1 of Advanced Sensing:-

It’s only ever a question of awareness…….. There is no need to leave Truth, ever, full stop. In that sense, it is a choice. Do I want to be what I am, do I want to be as reality is – what reality is? Or do I want to be in illusion, trying to make things better (or worse), trying to get better, become something else, something different, something new? Is there something different, something new, other than this awake alive free fall that remains, despite all our attempts to distort and prevent it (because of our conditioning)?

It gives credence to Anthony’s reminder to us that this new and updated class is really assisting a very deep embodiment of whatever level of awakening has happened in each student. Also, and importantly, the Vortex Healing way of sensing is to sense from and as Awareness itself. This makes it different from most other kinds of healing modalities and sensing methods etc., which are often in reality accessing collected memory, on many different levels. In one way, that common technique is fine because one sees the story of a situation. But in another way, it could be seen as feeding the ego because it is not sensing the Truth of the situation, which would actually create more growth for the receiver.

Put in another way, Vortex Healing sensing is not about improving our ability to have experiences and see more ‘things’ – angels etc. It’s about awakeness waking up to itself in this moment, and from that the truth of the situation has space to arise.

Our looking for Sensing/Divinity/Love etc. makes us blind, because we’re coming from a perspective that is distorted by lack etc. – by deep conditioning. This new way is really about sensing without looking for anything. Sensing is on a need-to-know basis. We don’t sense what we don’t need to know. That’s why we often can’t see/get things we ‘want’, because that want point of view is coming from lack, or some other conditioning. We sense what we need to sense in that moment. As frustrating and sometimes terrifying as that is for the ego, that’s how it is.

To assist your own sensing ability, take what happened to me during lunch on the one-day Sensing class. This is an example of how simple all this really is and how helpful it can be:-

I was sitting in a busy restaurant with friends, trying to decide what to eat from the menu. My mind was telling me to have one dish and my body another. Usually, my story was that I should go with my body. But this time something else happened. When the waiter came, I ordered a different dish entirely, having no idea where this came from. In fact, I thought it was a dish I wouldn’t like, yet something – which wasn’t me – wanted to have it. So I went with that. The dish turned out to be so nourishing for my body and much better than anything the apparent me could have chosen. I also enjoyed it way more than I could have imagined. It was a laksa soup by the way, with chicken and coconut 😉

In this way, when you go with the Truth in any moment, because you have got to a point where you can feel that, the results are so much more deeply satisfying than anything your imagination could conjure up to tempt you with.

Are you aware that there is an Adyashanti online course starting very soon? It is called ‘The Art of Meditation’ and I am taking it, as are some of you I hear. I highly recommend these courses, even if (and perhaps especially if) you have never met Adya in person. Here is the link:-

http://www.adyashanti.org/index.php?file=specialeventsdetails6

Goodbye for now,

Love,

Daisy

Longing for the Divine

Hello,

How are you? I hope this correspondence finds you well. I want to share with you a poem I wrote some time ago about longing for the Divine. Listening to Adyashanti on the bus just now reminded me of it.

Oh what of this mystery?

I turn in the night,

Towards Love, towards You.

Here without motion,

Bathed in such Light.

You, who I can never have

And who never leaves.

Trails of longing remain,

Like vines

Cut off at the root.

Can I speak to You

Without opposition,

Without two?

Your gentle ears listen

Without existing.

A secret Life

Comes in the night.

I have begun attending satsang every week at Villa Devi in Brockley, South London, on Thursday nights. This is bringing oneness more deeply into my living life and I wanted to invite any of you who would be interested in coming. We sing bhajans, chant the Guru Stotra (like the 1000 Names) and perform other kinds of prayers to Amma. Contact me if you would like the details.

If you have not yet done so but would like to, you can sign up to have Mother Meera’s darshan here in London in February:-

http://mothermeera.org.uk/

Also, if you have not yet signed up but would like to, there is a waiting list for Adyashanti’s retreat this August. I recommend getting onto it asap if you want the chance of a lifetime to be on retreat in silence and with a truly gifted awakened guide:-

https://www.adyashanti.org/index.php?file=retreatsdetails&eventid=1221

Last but not least I would like to share something Amma once said:-

“I haven’t come to teach anyone anything. I have come to remind you of a song you once knew, but have since forgotten” – Amma

She utters such nectar with every breath…I thank the day I met this person. The only person I can call teacher and mean it.

I hope you are enjoying your week,

Love,

Daisy