Out of the Blue
First off I want to tell you about an upcoming training in the IAM, Amma’s meditation technique, which came to her in a vision while she was taking a nighttime stroll around the ashram many years ago. I highly recommend it to anyone looking for a way to connect with Divinity, a fantastic meditation technique or simply a way to unwind, calm thinking down or relax the nervous system. Whatever intention you bring to it, will gradually manifest in your life. It is being held in Brighton / Lewes on the 17th / 18th September. The cost to cover room hire etc. is £35; please contact me if you are interested.
My next recommendation is the Foundational Vortex Healing course being held here in London, 19th – 23rd September with Anthony Gorman. It is hard to begin to explain what Vortex Healing has brought into my life so far because it is so broad and deep. I was thinking recently about why I practice Vortex Healing more than the other helping modalities I am trained in. I came to the simple conclusion that, in my personal and professional experience, it is more effective at deepening you into the core of what you are and releasing the roots of what you aren’t, than any other modality of help I have trained in or experienced first hand.
Now back to the Amma tour this summer 🙂 It was interesting to hear Amma explain in an aside during one of her talks in L.A., that the external aspect of Kali – the fierce appearance – is designed to bring out the dormant doubt in the devotee. I immediately thought of those of you who have felt that Amma has glared at you or ignored you etc. over the years. If she is indeed an embodiment of Kali (which I personally believe), then this might help you make sense of what she is doing there. From my perspective, no action Amma makes is unconscious, and Yes – she can bestow focus on many many people at once. Anyone who has experienced the ‘staring Darshan’ at the end of Devi Bhava will know about this. When she is ‘Kali with us’, perhaps Amma is indeed purposefully bringing out the poison of doubt in the process of life and Divinity. If this kind of insecurity exists within in a suppressed state – for example, as cynicism – it gives rise to all kinds of distortions and disorders in the experience of living, not to mention in the body. On a similar note, it is not uncommon for people to not want to be with Amma if they have strong issues with their own mother. It is easy to put your birth mother’s face over Amma’s face, subtly and subconsciously projecting onto her. If you had painful childhood experiences, you may then fear that she will hurt you in some way, get angry with you, punish you for something you did or ignore you etc. If this sounds like you, you may even find that when you approach her for Darshan, that you have negative thoughts towards Amma. All of that is part of the process of you healing from things which are sometimes unimaginably deep in your system. It will not hurt Amma in any way. In fact, she has been known to ask us to project anger and negativity onto her using the Amma dolls, in order to release in a harmless way. It is possible to see at some point, that the thoughts you have towards Amma are really thoughts you harbour towards yourself.
On a different note, Amma is really urging us all to plant trees if possible, adding the chilling words that, “when we cut down trees, remember we are building our own coffin.” She is also encouraging anyone who has outside space to plant a small vegetable garden and try to eat the produce from that. This means we will not go hungry when food runs short in the future and we will also avoid consuming the pesticides etc. on supermarket vegetables. Not to mention that we save money and get in touch with the earth at the same time 🙂
Now for a little story 🙂 I had a profound experience of Divine Intention during this tour with Amma. Having something like that really changes your life, because before that the idea that the Divine can reach into your life and move it in a certain direction is often just that – an idea, perhaps a hope, or a dream. Here is what happened to me. Out-of-the-blue, during Devi Bhava in Toronto (the final stop on the tour), my boss told my friend and I to go and sit with Amma on the stage. We were understandably astonished, because this lady is known for wanting people to work very hard. We jumped at the chance and made our way onto the stage. We stood beside the ‘bouncer’, an entertaining yet stern man who always wears a suit, and manages the part of the stage nearest to Amma on all the US tour programs. Again out-of-the-blue, he invited us to sit together directly next to Amma. Let me explain that this never happens! It was really out of character for him. We felt so lucky, and beamed at one another 🙂 As I watched her up-close, each movement Amma made as she gave Darshan would bridge me deeper into presence… Then, she suddenly turned and looked at both of us directly, smiling. It was amazing… That look will never leave me. It was a look of the purest knowing… It was so rich, so full… Both my friend and I reported the same things: it felt like Amma was communicating that she herself had brought us into this tour on staff, and that this exchange with her was a kind of ‘graduation’. We both felt this deep sense of Amma acknowledging all the seva we had done, and of the inner work we had done and also we felt this incredible depth of solidarity between us. We felt as if Amma had given each one to the other to help us complete the tour. Somehow I knew, intuitively, that I had just had a real life experience of Divine Intention. And in the wake of that, doubt vanished. I wish I could put this all into words better. But maybe it isn’t possible to do that. The mystery manifesting into creation, manifesting in all kinds of ways, every moment… You can see why the wise men (and women) say, better to sit as silence.
I hope you enjoyed this email and that you are getting plenty of sun 🙂