Trust YourSelf, Trust the Deeper Intuition
How are you? I hope this email finds you well.
Is anyone doing The Art of Meditation with Adyashanti at the moment? It is going beautifully I must say.
It has taken me a while to write this time due to a deep pull into Embodiment. Part of this draw (which looks human and messy by the way, not a ‘nice’ spiritualised ideal) has revealed the realisation that I will not be continuing with psychotherapy. Although I love the way in which my rigorous training moves now in my healing work with you, and although I will be continuing with Equine Assisted Therapy which is pure joy, working as a therapist is not for me.
I went through a natural process to get to this life changing conclusion, which I want to share with you, so that you can be empowered by it in your own choice making processes. As you know, there are conditionings in us which are so powerful that they can take years to work through and which dictate much of our lives as they are now. So, how do we become clear in the midst of all that sticky, forceful and destructive stuff when making an important decision? This is where intuition goes from being a ‘nice-to-have’ add-on that makes life more interesting, to being the place from which you live your life, simply because it is the expressive aspect of Truth itself.
To share some of my process with this: I had become convinced that I had to do an MA in psychotherapy and believed that this movement was coming from Truth itself. So I set about visiting universities and making applications etc. Before sleeping one night, I did the 300 Names (an Amma practice) in bed, as I sometimes do. At 5 30am I woke up bolt upright, with the sudden sense “What am I doing? I am not doing an MA!” At the time I decided to shelve this, thinking I couldn’t be clear in the space I was in at that moment. In the morning, I went to the forest (Highgate Woods) and sat for many hours in deep contemplation and meditation about the MA. I repeated this in my bedroom a couple more times in the proceeding days. Each time, I received the same clear answers. The key was that I had to wait…..
Here is my suggested way:-
First, contact Truth within very deeply and stay there (I suggest meditation for this). Then ask a very specific question towards whatever you sense as that Divine (Truth) within, whether that be Amma, true Self, a deity etc. And then, wait……. Don’t go for that reflex which wants to grab your attention and is pulling at you. The Truth never needs to pull, and doesn’t actually move at all. Listen, sense and be open for what doesn’t move. Let the true answer reveal itself in that place, in it’s own time and by it’s own terms. Adyashanti has called this “the knowing which arises from not knowing”. Patience, humility and courage are important here. In this way, you touch what is you and simultaneously beyond you. It is the impersonal becoming the personal, and is also free from both of these definitive boxes.
Another observation, which may be of use to those of you who experienced trauma of any kind in your infancy and early years, is that what is called dissociation in psychotherapy is on the other levels of us a deep energetic twist in the heart. It is where the child has twisted to get away from something unbearable (abandonment, violence, sexual invasion or any other kind of abuse trauma). This twist then ripples into the pericardium muscle fascia and pulls on the nerves in the neck, sometimes causing burning and pain, and also often interferes with the ears and hearing. So problems can be present in any or all of these areas, though the root is emotional-karmic-genetic. Once I had deepened into the emotional pain behind the dissociative patterning in me one day (triggered by the upcoming ending after 3 years with my therapist), and cried a lot, I could actually hear far more clearly the next day and my neck was totally relaxed and opened. Auspiciously, I happened to have a cranial sacral session booked with a friend that day, which further helped 🙂
Last but not least, do you or anyone you know want to go on a transformational yoga retreat? If so, I can highly recommend one here: http://www.thepracticesoffreedomandwellbeing.com
Bye for now,