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Posts tagged ‘stillness’

Sep 30

Devotion

Hello 🙂

How are you?

I am here in London, adjusting to the changes that my life brings, in this case the return from ashram life to city life. I don’t know if anyone remembers that seminal track by Goldie – ’Inner City Life’? That more-or-less encapsulates how it feels.

When sitting down to write about a living master, one faces a dilemma: the sense that the living presence of such a being, and the ‘experience’ (for want of a better word) of that, can never be confined to words or descriptions. It’s very hard to say anything about Amma. She both is and is not, she manifests as both form and formless in a continuous cascade. Perhaps the way in which my friends and I feel her in the most tangible way, is as Supreme Love: a Love that goes completely beyond anything imaginable, and which cuts through every vestige of the human ego, revealing the ultimate secret of this universe. If anyone is asking why I spend so much time with my spiritual teacher, this is why.

I wish I could give some kind of account of my stay with Amma in Amritapuri, but that really would just be words. You see, it’s a living thing with her. You don’t go about your day and then sit down and write your diary, and feel all good about what you’ve understood, and then go to sleep again. It’s not like that. The path with Amma is the path of action, of expression, of interaction and of an outpouring of a selflessness you had no idea was inside you, waiting to come out. This Love moves, this Silence transforms without leaving itself. This true way throws the human being into complete Mystery, not only once, but constantly. And miracles rain down upon everyone in that ashram like the monsoons. I’m aware that I sound like I’ve drunk the Kool-Aid – lol!

Those of you who have visited the ashram will know that one of the ways people deepen in their closeness with Amma and her teachings, is through sharing stories about her. I heard many extraordinary accounts while I was there this time. One never knows whether such stories are true, mythological or a version of a truth. To me, that is not ultimately the most important thing: for me, it is this unknown space…this Mystery, that such stories deepen me into which matters the most. One night, we met a new friend. As we got to know him over the course of our stay on the ashram (in saying ‘we’ and ‘our’, I am referring to Steve and I – yes, we are back together 🙂 🙂 :-)), this friend began to tell us the story of how he met Amma. The story begins before he was born. His father heard about Amma and took my friend’s sister to meet Her in Manchester in 1989. When they went for Darshan the father said to his daughter, “You are in the presence of God, you can ask anything you like.” The daughter told Amma that she wanted a little brother. Amma looked to the father and asked if he and his wife wanted another child. The father replied Yes, but that they could not, because his wife had gone through the menopause. Amma said Ok, and smiled at the daughter. A couple of months later, the mother began her periods again. Soon after this, she was pregnant. My friend was born in due course. Not long after the birth, Amma was due to visit England again. The father stayed at home with his new son (my friend), while the mother – who had never met Amma yet – and her daughter went to the program. As the mother fell into Amma’s arms for Darshan, Amma said to this woman – who she was meeting for the first time and had no information about – “Are you happy now that you have a son?” The mother burst into tears and surrendered. Hearing this story flooded me with energy rushes and goosebumps. I would never want to, or try to, prove whether it is true or not. I don’t know that. All I can say is that the sense of resonance throughout my entire being upon hearing it was overwhelming, and that the feeling of reality, realness, hitting-the-mark – whatever you want to call it – opened up within me in a profound way.

This actually leads me into something else I wanted to share with you. People often ask me about intuition, and feel that I have some expertise in this area. I don’t know about that, but I did discover something more about the whole thing when I was with Amma in the ashram. I hope that including this diary entry might assist you in your own journey with with your sense of intuition / instinct.

“12/9/18

The answer came in Darshan today. There was no need to tune-in, check, ‘ask Amma inside’, or anything like that. When I was relaxed and open – simple, and in my being, one could say – I felt during Amma’s long embrace that [X]. It didn’t come mentally. It didn’t come through any kind of asking. It didn’t come in a big bang. It came through the feeling body. This relative truth came as a sort-of feeling, a kind-of sense, which ran like a river through my heart. So, yes, as [Y] reminded me that time: trust the truth that comes naturally, like a gift.”

That’s all for now. If you would like to book a session or talk about anything, please call, message or text me.

Much Love,

xDaisy

Aug 22

“The silent abyss beyond all knowing” ~ Adyashanti

Hello 🙂

How are you?

I am in the midst of a potent time in my life, between the retreat I have just completed with Adyashanti and the time I am about to spend with Amma. I feel such wonderment and gratitude about this. They are the only words I can find in this moment to express how I am feeling. I don’t know why my life is this way – so filled with Divine opportunities – and why it is not another way. I can only bow down before the Grace that brought this all here.

The way I feel from being on the 7 day silent meditation retreat with Adyashanti is that I have now put all my eggs in one basket – that of Silence. There is this abiding trust now in the wisdom of Silence itself. On the level of experience (as it could be called), the Silence has become the foreground. It is hard to give an explanation of what this means for anyone who is struggling to understand (which may be no one of course). But here is an excerpt from my diary on retreat, of a particular day when this started to open fully:-

“Something really beautiful began to happen during the Silent Sittings today. I could, and still can, see all the way through my thoughts. I experience that absolutely everything arising there is conditioning. Previously, I had been assigning Truth to many many things…… Now I see that none of this is Truth. The contraction deep in my belly when something comes up is not Truth – it is conditioning. It’s the same with the things people say to me, and what arises in me in reactivity – conditioning. None of this is Truth. I am finally free.

I don’t say this as a grand statement about enlightenment. I mean simply that I am free from the grip of my mind and my deep emotional conditioning, inasmuch as I see it for what it is. It is no longer fooling me. I see through it all in a clear way. I am free.

In a sense it could be said that in the meditations, I perceived what arose in the Silence and the Silence itself as distinct from one another. And perhaps this is why Silence is often likened to the unknown. Because it is that – Silence is unknown and unknowing everything.”

I have decided to take my upcoming time in India off work for self-care and to volunteer for Amma’s charity ‘Embracing the World’, in their efforts to care for those affected by the flooding in Kerala.

This means I will be unavailable from the 30th August to the 26th September.

I will have limited digital contact, so you are welcome to try me. But please be aware that I cannot give sessions during that time.

Wishing you love and freedom from the heart of Silence,

xDaisy

Aug 10

Manifesting Intention Review

Hello 🙂

How are you? This email is a little late in coming to you, but I have finally had the chance to gather my thoughts from the last Vortex Healing training – Manifesting Intention – which I completed at the end of May.

Before I get started on that, I want to remind you that I am fortunate enough to be attending a silent meditation retreat with Adyashanti from tomorrow until the 18th August. This means absolutely no digital contact during that time.

Another reminder, as not everyone realises yet, I have the venue in Barbican back on Wednesdays, for those of you who cannot (or prefer not to) be treated at home. Distance sessions continue as normal. I have decided to keep my price the same, rather than raising, having looked into it with the support of Amma and Merlin (the Divine Being at the heart of Vortex Healing).

So, what do we mean by ‘Manifesting Intention’? Firstly, it’s important to explain that this has nothing to do with the plethora of techniques about getting what you want. This has to do with alignment and rooting inside Divinity, and then meeting that as it manifests through creation. One way of thinking about it is that it’s the Divine getting what it wants: you being the Divine at the deepest level of what you are, but certainly not on the level of ego or I or mine / me. Manifesting Intention is not about manifesting ‘my will’. As a healer, the difference between this and everything else we have in Vortex Healing is that I am going directly to Divine Intention at the point that it arises in creation, and channelling from there. We now use the term ‘re-manifesting’ instead of ‘transforming’ or ‘clearing’, because to heal what is being healed we are actually helping to re-manifest the Divinity from inside what is off. Now, of course, the manifesting of Divine Intention is happening all the time through all of creation. The transmission I have from this class helps you to align more deeply with that. In this way, it’s a healing and an awakening and an embodiment aid all at the same time. Pretty mind-blowing!

In class, we talked a lot about kidney energy. You will have noticed that I focus a lot there in almost every session, and now I have a way of channelling compressed Jing and Chi energies into the kidneys using MI (Manifesting Intention). I learned more about why this part of the body – and its resonance throughout the rest of the body – is so important. The Chi of the kidneys governs hormones – that’s a huge chunk of your body’s systems – and the kidney energy holds the toned-ness and strength of the whole body.

We also discussed gut health. These days there is a lot of talk about micro-biome and it was interesting to get Ric Weinman’s (teacher of the class and holder of the Vortex Healing lineage) opinion about this. He made the point that it’s not just about what we are eating, even though that is important. He believes that the health of the gut is a reflection of the health of the entire system. It reveals where a person is mentally, emotionally, karmically, genetically etc. Also, certain kinds of probiotics can actually be unhelpful (for example some can even exacerbate candida), so it is a good idea to tune in with your body before buying a probiotic. I tend to do this with all supplements anyway – and yes, you can even do this through the screen when shopping on Amazon 🙂 Simply feel from your body – perhaps with eyes closed to make it easier to see / sense – and experience whether your body wants that particular product or not.

With skin problems, Ric advised examining the liver. Essentially, when the liver is not functioning well, then the body is forced to detox it’s shit through the skin. He said that the toxicity comes from karmic (past life), genetic, emotional and food / environmental / physical factors and lifestyle stress combined.

And we have made a breakthrough in clearing chronic viruses such as Herpes and Epstein-Barr with Manifesting Intention. It is now possible to knock out most of these, even the very tricky Herpes!

See you after the retreat 🙂

Love,

xDaisy

Jul 28

Stillness and Service

Hello,

How are you?

I am well. I wanted to let you know of two upcoming events which I am attending, to give you the chance to plan sessions if you want to:-

I will be on a silent meditation retreat with Adyashanti in England from the 11th – 18th August, and I am going to serve on Amma’s ashram in India from the 30th August – 26th September.

Much Love to you,

xDaisy

Jul 4

Amma: Compassion Visionary

Hello 🙂

How are you? I am very well indeed 🙂 I was hoping to write to you earlier, but it seems now is the time. First of all, just to let you know that I am back in London and working – so please do message or call my phone to book a session. Plus, I have the venue back. So it’s Wednesdays at Barbican. Some of you will appreciate this, as you either cannot have sessions in your home, or prefer not to. House calls, though, and distant sessions remain available.

Being with Amma on her west coast US Tour was phenomenal… If you have not yet had the chance to meet this fascinating visionary of Compassion, please do take the opportunity. Amma tours for around eight months of each year and the rest of the time is in her ashram in Kerala (India). So, if you are ever going abroad, check in with her websites to see if your paths cross. The dates for the London program at the moment look to be the 11th – 12th November at Sandown Race Course in Surrey (with the Devi Bhava all-nighter being on the 12th). Please do check nearer the time for the update on this, as it can change.

Amma is not just another teacher, another guru. We are talking about, without mincing words, the most exact embodiment of Divinity on the planet alive today. The benefits of spending time in Her physical presence simply cannot be quantified. Just a few examples of this are: experiencing the true nature of Unconditional Love, broadening learning on how to give and why it is so important, and awakening and embodiment. Not to mention engaging in the far-reaching humanitarian aid work Amma is doing, through Her global charity ‘Embracing the World’, and all its volunteers. Bear in mind that neither Amma, nor the Swamis or Swamini, nor any of her senior devotees, nor any of us are paid for the work we do. This is why her charity remains uniquely effective in delivering to its millions of recipients in India and all over the world.

Check out her charity:-

www.embracingtheworld.org

Her US Tour (still happening):-

www.amma.org

And her Indian site:-

www.amritapuri.org

Above, you will find all the information you need on meeting Amma and on her charitable activities. If you do not, please don’t hesitate to ask me.

I want to give you a little personal account of just a couple of the amazing things I experienced with Amma this time. The first is a diary entry from my working week in between having just taken the Vortex Healing® Manifesting Intention course and my time with Amma:-

25/5/18

I was in my bedroom contemplating this continuous drive towards God which I feel so pressingly within. All of a sudden, an alarm began to ring very loudly. I had never heard this particular alarm before and didn’t know where it was coming from. I searched the room. Finally, hidden behind furniture, I found this old dusty digital clock; clearly, it had been left untouched for months, maybe even years. Within the displayed time was 108. As I gazed at this in amazement, the numbers turned to 109, and the alarm clock stopped ringing.

As many of you know, 108 is a particularly auspicious number in Indian spirituality and we chant the 108 Names of the Divine Mother as part of Amma’s recommended sadhana (spiritual practices). A week and a half afterwards, it felt like this bolt-from-the-blue came to fruition while I was on Tour with Amma. I was in Seattle and had been up all night on Devi Bhava, being with Amma and doing seva (selfless service) with my friends. Here is an excerpt from what I wrote:-

4/6/18

After Darshan, I was given a seat right in front of Amma. I fell Silent, totally peaceful, content and happy. Eventually I was moved, but I lingered at the back of the stage. I was left untouched standing there for more than an hour – during which time I was totally transfixed by Amma. Watching Her, I deepened more and more into Silence.

Then, the man who plays the guitar beautifully began to play a solo during Swami Dayamrita’s bhajan set. It was so wonderful, it began to carry me… Suddenly, I was overcome and I began to cry. I felt everything and nothing, I felt union. The sense of union (for want of a better word – a word that doesn’t exist) was so deep…in a felt way, in a way that was choiceless and without an exit gate or any room for doubt. I felt relief and completion in a way that was total. I called out in my heart to Amma, “Thank you, thank you, thank you Amma. I can hardly believe that this is my life. Help me to Surrender – I want to Surender all of my life, everything, to You.” I was crying for a long time; every time I would look at Amma, it would start again. It had hit me – really, really hit me – what She is doing here. I felt overwhelmed at seeing the Reality of Her. That she chose this life she is living – that She has come to us to uplift us, in the most profound sense – the whole world, the whole of humanity. It’s hard to get it across in words, what I felt and perceived. I kept crying and silently calling out to Amma in my heart, “Thank you, thank you Amma – thank you Amma, thank you Amma.” The gratitude I felt was completely overwhelming. In between my tears and praying, I would simply watch Her giving Darshan, feeling this one-pointed longing / bridging into Divinity itself – like I was being fast-tracked to God. When my mind would occasionally start up again, Amma would turn and look at me, and my mind was stopped, and I would be returned into the Silence. It was as if She was showing me the utter beyond-ness of Divinity through this whole thing.

I would like to end with a quote directly from Amma. I hope you enjoy it. I recommend reading it out loud to yourself for full effect:-

“Compassion does not see the faults of others. It does not see the weaknesses of people. It makes no distinction between good and bad people. Compassion cannot draw a line between two countries, two faiths or two religions. Compassion has no ego; thus there is no fear, lust or passion. Compassion simply forgives and forgets. Compassion is like a passage. Everything passes through it. Nothing can stay there. Compassion is love expressed in all its fullness.”

~ ❤️ Amma (Sri Mata Amritanandamayi Devi)

Love,

xDaisy

May 31

AMMA :-) :-) :-)

Hello 🙂

How are you?

I am happy and well, if tired, and now without the time to write you the email about the wonderful Manifesting Intention course which I had hoped to write. I leave to be with Amma early tomorrow morning. Many more of you wanted sessions than I had anticipated, so my time has been well spent giving these. Please bear with me on that email though; there is so much exciting stuff to share with you once I have the proper time to go through my notes.

I am thrilled about seeing my teacher! I will be with Her in Seattle, San Ramon and Los Angeles. I leave early tomorrow morning and return on the 19th June (morning). I will be engaged in seva (selfless service) while I am there and will have very limited digital access.

www.amma.org

I hope this email finds you well and enjoying life, and I very much look forward to seeing you after the 19th June.

Love,

xDaisy

May 24

Manifesting Intention

Hello 🙂

How are you? I am very well indeed, and writing to you from the airport lounge as I begin my epic journey of many parts back to London, from the Vortex Healing course in Virginia Beach which just ended.

I land late on the 24th, and am offering sessions from 25th to 31st May (before Amma for 2 weeks). Please WhatsApp, text or call to book for this period or for when I am back (19th June onwards).

The feeling of bliss and happiness is profound…really profound. If any of you are on the Vortex trajectory and thinking about stepping off, I strongly encourage you to persevere with courses. Awakening to Divinity (last one) and Manifesting Intention (this one) are hard to describe they are so good!! Just Wow……and very few words. I feel so grateful to the Divine, to Amma, to my Vortex family and to Ric, for facilitating this course. The sense of awakeness is ever deeper and deeper. That’s the most amazing thing. And this sense of happiness and bliss arising from within, regardless of situations, amazes me… Everything is so soft…

I could just hug and kiss everyone! Probably not advisable though, in an airport lounge.

I am so looking forward to sharing this new energy of Manifesting Intention with you 🙂 🙂 🙂  Must go for now, but simply wanted to connect with you all and share this…this – whatever this is, in some way. I will write some coherent stuff soon. There’s a lot of new and interesting information with this course.

Much Love,

xDaisy

Apr 4

Love

Hello 🙂

How are you? 

I want to write a little about my experiences with Mother Meera during her visit to London, happening now. I have been fortunate enough to have been seeing her for around 10 years. Please see this website if you would like to know more:-

https://mothermeera.org.uk/

As soon as I was seated in the hall yesterday, there was this return to the natural state. It’s not that easy to put into words, but suddenly meditation was happening with no meditator and without any effort to meditate. I could feel Silence pouring like liquid gold through my body, and now and then there were rushes of something like energy, as if my cells were coming alive after a deep sleep. This took over, and in that takeover, I returned to innocence. Each thought, story and emotion which arose was unresisted and simply seen for what it was, without indulgence. Again, there was no efforting – it all seemed to happen without me. I sat like this for a long time. 

When it was my turn to join the queue for the staring Darshan, a bhajan from Amma began to ‘play’ in the background of my awareness 🙂 When I was in front of Mother Meera with her hands on my head, my mind came to a complete stop, and even this bhajan stopped. As she looked into my eyes, I experienced total and utter oneness…which seemed to pour itself into infinity. Everything left me – all suffering, all concepts – all things left. As I rose and walked down the steps after this, a different bhajan from Amma began to ‘play’ lightly once again 🙂 I sat for a long time afterwards. When Mother Meera did her group staring Darshan at the end, I noticed such a shift in the energy in the entire room… Did anyone else feel that? It was wonderful to see some of you there 🙂 and hopefully you all got my email detailing this visit a while back?. 

After I left with friends to eat together, several remarkable things happened that day, which I simply cannot see as anything but Divine synchronicity and Grace 🙂 Firstly, on the way home strangers kept talking to me – and this is on the tube in London!! One mother began to talk to me about her son skateboarding – a big part of my history in this life 🙂 On the next leg of my journey, a woman began to offer everyone her chocolate biscuits – literally opening them up to strangers in the carriage. I felt such a love for people radiating from this action and from within this woman…so much so that I commented on it, and she knew that she had this gift. It actually turned out that she used to serve me fish’n’chips in the area where I lived many years ago! This got me thinking of one of my closest friends in the world (whom I had become estranged from) who lived in that area too. Later that evening – and I’m not joking! – that friend called me, completely out of the blue, to apologise and ask if we could be friends again. Incredible… And then that night, my Mum and I started laughing together spontaneously like children – like we used to when we were both younger. We couldn’t stop! And then we hugged and made up about a stupid fight we’d had. I could hardly take in all the Grace… 

It really couldn’t have come at a better time. These last two months have been so painful… First my uncle died suddenly, then I broke up with my fiancé and then there grew this rift (described above) between my close friend and I. The pain of breaking with Steve got so intense that I was crying almost continuously, with bone-crushing emotional agony. In facing this depth of pain and loss without running away from it, I eventually experienced self-effulgence for perhaps the first time on my own. In the end, I was forced into the Light within myself. My heart still overflows with love and passion for Steve… And yet, simultaneously, there is a deep intuitive clarity that we cannot be together at this time. It’s the weirdest thing ever in my life. If I were to go against this, I would be sacrificing my integrity, and I simply cannot do that anymore. Even for the love of my life. 

I would love to hear your experiences with or after Mother Meera, so please don’t hesitate to write to me about them. Or about anything else (as I have demonstrated here! I hope you will forgive my indulgence :-). I look forward to seeing you or working with you again soon.

So much Love 🙂 🙂 🙂 

xDaisy

Mar 25

Easter Special: Half-price Sessions :-)

Hello 🙂

How are you?

I am offering you my usual gift this Easter: half-price sessions * £45 * for distance healing via Skype / WhatsApp / phone this Good Friday and Easter Monday!

Looking forward to seeing you,

Much Love,

xDaisy

Feb 8

Happiness Revisited

Hello 🙂

How are you? I am well, and enjoying London life once again. Yes, I’m properly back 🙂 There are a few things going on here that I thought you might be interested in. Each Thursday evening there is an Amma satsang at Villa Devi (an Amma community) in Brockley – please ask me for details, or join the FB group; then there is Mother Meera coming in April:-

https://booking.mothermeera.com/sessions/public

I will be there for the 10am session on the 3rd April, so let me know if you wish to join me. There is the inimitable (though many have tried) Tony Parsons, who gives a talk on the first Saturday of each month in Hampstead:-

https://www.theopensecret.com/talks.html#london

And the wonderful Rupert Spira, who sometimes give talks on a Friday evening in the same place. Additionally he does Alternatives in Piccadilly. I recommend a Q&A with him – really transformative and nourishing I have found:-

http://non-duality.rupertspira.com/home

On a different tack, I wanted to tell you what I have found out about happiness, according to research done by psychiatrists and psychologists (see the whole thing free on Netflix – ‘Happy’).

The findings showed that, contrary to popular belief, happiness is not created by circumstantial factors such as how much money you have, where you live etc: in fact these make up only 10%! The biggest single factor in the experience of happiness is actually genetics – a whopping 50%. It is interesting to note that, at baseline, one’s happiness spectrum (the up to the down) is largely influenced by our DNA. So if you’re feeling happy – no point in gloating, and if you’re feeling unhappy – you are not to blame and neither are your parents. Thankfully, we can work on genetics energetically using Vortex Healing, otherwise this could seem like something one had to resign oneself to 🙂 The other 40% is the most interesting part. Essentially this part, a whole 40%, is unaccounted for – it’s unknown. Make of that what you will 😉 What the scientists concluded about this part, also interesting I think, is that it is about our intentional activities – things we do to create happiness in our lives, such as being with friends, exercising, meditating, travelling etc. – and that variety is key to this part.

The aspect I found really warming about this research, was that it was discovered (again contrary to popular belief) that people who are focussed on intrinsic goals are happier than those focussed on extrinsic goals. Intrinsic goals were defined as personal development, close relationships of all kinds, and selfless service. Extrinsic goals were defined as status, image and wealth. It was found that the intrinsic types reported more happiness and less depression and anxiety than their extrinsic counterparts. It all completely goes against societal brainwashing. I was delighted to know that even scientists now believe that happiness is found within!

The research findings also made me think of Amma, whose entire organisation is centred around intrinsic goals, and who has always said that she doesn’t encourage us to do selfless service for her: it is because she sees how happy it makes us. And it really does. The happiest times in my life have been had serving her organisation. Even the focus on awakening has completely fallen away at times in these endeavours: all there was then was service in a seamless unbroken flow, without any sense at all of an ‘I’ or a ‘me’; without thought, without agenda and without distraction.

Wishing you deep happiness and even more than that, alignment with Divinity and the complete surrender to it.

Love,

xDaisy

Dec 10

Joy

Hello 🙂

How are you? I am very well indeed. I feel the happiest I have ever felt in my life. Happiness comes and goes, so I’m not forcing meaning into this, but I must say it is a delight to feel this way 🙂 🙂 🙂

I apologise for not writing sooner. I have been doing a lot of Europe Tour with Amma. I have also been welcoming a new relationship into my life. Some of you have already met Steve 🙂 The deep significance of this relationship to me is hard to put into words accurately. Being single for 4 years beforehand, and fully exploring that, was really important for me. The few lovers I had during that time were meaningful and the wondrous solitude was needed and nourishing. Now to be in this awakening embodiment evolution with someone who wants the same thing, to be in love and to have so much in common on a human level, plus things which compliment in their differences, is a Grace I find hard to fathom.

So, Amma….! How was it for you? It was a huge and exciting joy to see many of you in Surrey and also in the other places I went to with Amma (Switzerland, the Netherlands and Valencia.) Thank you for visiting me in the massage area, those of you who could. I really don’t have words right now for the Amma experience from my point of view….. I think that may partly be because I just did the 108 Names, the 1000 Names and the IAM. No mind 🙂 All I can think of to say about how I feel for Amma is deeply in love, and deeply deeply grateful for what she has given me on this Tour.

The other good news is that I will now be living in London for the foreseeable future, so I will be available for sessions every day. Please text / WhatsApp / call to arrange (NB: I often have the Barbican venue available on Wednesdays).

Love, care and Silence,

xDaisy

Oct 29

Sessions in London :-)

Hello 🙂

How are you? I am well. Integrating the Awakening to Divinity Vortex Healing course I just took in America. Then it was my Birthday, hence why it has taken so long to write. I wanted to let you know that I will now be in London until December. Please make the most of this time to have sessions in person. I will have the venue in Barbican on Wednesdays. After December I will be in London 3 days per week as usual. Distance sessions are available at any time.

Obviously the most important thing to mention is that Amma will soon be with us! Please note that the program is being held in Surrey, so it is advisable to get accommodation.

Amma’s London Visit Dates: Friday 17 & Saturday 18 November

Sandown Park Racecourse, Esher KT10 9AJ

I was contemplating today, the role of self-judgement and judgement of others in locking conditioning more in place – because that’s what it does. In my experience, personally and professionally, everything is karmic – it’s all about cause and effect, actions which create consequences, usually stretching back beyond the place we can even see. This karma has a momentum, which is strong, and it will play out in some way – even if a being like Amma comes in and softens it greatly. So the best we can do is to release the energy of it and reduce it using any tools we have, wake up inside of it, and serve selflessly. There’s no point in getting dark about it and self-criticising, because that doesn’t help, and if anything this actually makes the experience of what’s happening worse. I hope this helps you with your process.

What I want to say initially about this Vortex course is that there is no sense of separation anymore. It’s incredible… For those of you who follow these kinds of things, it is the biggest shift since Core Veil, which for me was 12 years ago. It’s not that nothing has shifted in between, but the enormity of what has changed I could only compare to the Core Veil movement, yet it’s more total. As I was saying to a client today though, it’s not that everything’s perfect, it’s not ego-gratifying – which is what we all secretly continue to hope that awakening will be. At the same time, there is no separation. What a strange life life is living!

I will write properly once I am more integrated. Please do call or text if you would like an appointment – I would love to see you 🙂

Love,

xDaisy

Oct 4

Grace

Hello 🙂

How are you? I am very well. This past week, as I was walking across Victoria station and thanking the universe for orchestrating my journey from East Sussex perfectly, I uttered audibly, “It’s Grace.” Then it hit me – but everything is. Even after awakening there can be this tendency to think of Grace as coming from ‘outside’. As the realisation dawned on me, I saw that it’s not like that at all. There is no outside. Everything is Grace. The intensification of oneness that followed stopped me in my tracks (sorry London commuters!). The truth is, Grace isn’t ‘given to us’ when we’re good, because Grace is the very substance of everything. It’s what we are and what everything is, pre-existing whether we think we are good or bad in any moment.

I will be in London giving sessions Thursday (tomorrow) – Saturday, for the last time before America. Please call or text to book. Otherwise please feel free to book a distance session at any other time. As a reminder, I will be away in America for further training in Vortex Healing from the 11th – 23rd October (that’s next week). NB I will have very limited digital access at that time.

If, like me, you want to see Amma in Europe at a few places and haven’t booked or arranged things yet, do so soon because places are getting booked up and prices are rising. I am only just getting onto it now.

The Adyashanti retreat in Surrey next August is now open for registration. It’s 7 nights – a special treat nowadays 🙂 I highly recommend this silent meditation retreat, which I feel is second only to being with Amma in person. Here is the link (do it now if you want to, because they always get overbooked):-

https://www.adyashanti.org/index.php?file=retreatsdetails1&eventid=1366

I leave you with this from Marlies Myoku Cocheret, whose recent email moved me deeply:-

“Please take a moment to realize that everything can drop at any moment. This body, this mind, this or that feeling or sensation – not in your time, but Her time. Where do you want to put your attention when the moment comes…..which is every moment?!”

~ Marlies Myoku Cocheret

Love,

xDaisy

Sep 20

As Deep As Peace

Hello 🙂

You are as deep as peace. Yes, you. I feel I want to share this truth, following the online meditation group I just did with Marlies Myoku Cocheret. If you would like to participate in this opportunity for Silence, check the calendar section of her website. The groups are by donation each Wednesday, at 6pm UK time.

http://www.marliescocheret.com

Something else I learned this week from this wonderful offering is that there is no difference in the Beingness here with eyes open or eyes closed. This may sound obvious, and I ‘knew’ it before, but I actually experienced and perceived it today. That is the difference between truth and fiction. It’s an incredible thing that this Being that we all are, this one thing, is here all the time and never goes anywhere. We run to many places searching for safety, but that is only a relative safety, meanwhile true safety does exist in one place. The discovery of this true safety is the end of fear, so much so that fear can still arise – is allowed to be what it is – within this deep vastness of the One, which could also be called Beingness or truth. And no one has to do anything to get to this recognition. I personally really enjoy meditation and all kinds of spiritual practices, yet no one factually needs to do that to see what they are, right now, in this moment. All that is required is seeing reality as it is, without allowing the Self to be fettered by objects ‘outside’ or ‘inside’ (objects meaning everything you can think of).

I would also like to share how much I am enjoying Rupert Spira, whom I went to see at Alternatives on Monday. Apologies for not telling you sooner, I didn’t remember that I was going until the day. Here is his website for more details (for example, an upcoming retreat on the 3rd December):-

http://www.non-duality.rupertspira.com

This coming week, I will be in London Monday – Wednesday inclusive (i.e., 25th – 27th September). Please call or text to book. At other times distance sessions are available.

A reminder of Amma’s visit on the 17th – 18th November (Devi Bhava – 18th night). Please note that AMMA IS NOT IN LONDON this year. She is in Esher, Surrey, at Sandown Race Course. You will do well to book accommodation, as the venue is not very easily accessible from London. See the following site for details:-

http://www.amma.org.uk

Enjoy your week,

Love,

xDaisy

Sep 12

Sessions in London: Saturday – Tuesday

Hello 🙂

How are you? I am well, and enjoying country life here in East Sussex. Children are playing in the background, out in the sun, and I feel such peace in my heart. I really don’t have much to report or offer in words today, but wanted to let you know that I will be in London Saturday – Tuesday. The sessions I have left are on Monday and Tuesday, at a home in Camberwell where I am house-sitting. Distance sessions are available at any other time.

Please note that I will be continuing training in Vortex Healing® in America from the 11th – 23rd October, at which time I will not be offering sessions and will have limited digital access of any kind.

I leave you with this, which a friend just sent me from Adyashanti:-

You do not need to be perfect to be whole, you do not need to be worthy to be complete…

You are not here to be perfect. No one is perfect. You are here to love, and to love well.  ~ Adyashanti

Love,

xDaisy

Aug 16

Love

Hello 🙂

How are you? I am well 🙂 enjoying swimming in the sea, doing Acro Yoga in the countryside and giving distance sessions 🙂 I will be in London giving sessions Fri – Sun inclusive, so please call / text to book. Otherwise distance healing is always available 🙂

I finally have the time and space to reflect on the US Summer Tour with Amma, which I did half of this year, freestyling from San Ramon (in Northern California) to Dallas, Texas. I must say that this was the best time I have ever had with Amma… I had previously thought that my ‘Amma heydays’ had passed (during my first Summer tour in 2002, and on staff last year), but with Amma life just gets better! I think that’s almost like reflected light bouncing off the reality that the awakening embodiment evolution we are inside of can always go deeper. I want to share with you an excerpt from my diary. This part I wrote in San Ramon, stop 1 of 4:-

‘It’s another day in paradise here. And the Silence is palpable. It sings from the birds, dances across this lake, dawns within, shining outward like a sun.

Last night I had Darshan with Amma. I prayed in the queue several times, and the power of that prayer made me fall asleep, so that the helpers kept needing to wake me up. The unconsciousness in me wanted to drag me down and numb me out. My prayer was this: “I realise now that my longing for ‘x person’ is truly my longing for Divinity. Please remove any and everything within which says otherwise, believes otherwise, feels otherwise and is otherwise.”

When it came to the person in front of me, Amma did something she had never done in the 16 years I have been with her. As that person’s Darshan was ending – before, even – Amma reached out her hand and took mine. She then literally pulled me into her lap. It was as if she was saying, “Take my hand – I will show you how to do this.” And even deeper than that, I felt a direct pulling into Divinity. I let go in her arms. She had heard my silent prayer and answered it.’

This part I wrote after my final stop in Texas, during a layover in Calgary, Canada:-

‘Although what I’ve learned is way beyond words, I’m going to attempt to sum it up.

1) I experience a Love now that is a Love beyond love… It is deeper and clearer than any other love in my life. And everything, everything, can be done through this Love. Through and as this Love. I don’t have to go into analysing, into ‘hard truth’ or into separation of any kind. Those who told me to love someone less (basically) were never right, and deep down I knew that they weren’t. That way was wrong for me – I needed something higher. And that’s what Amma has revealed to me on this tour. From this True Love, everything can be accomplished. All barriers can melt. All pain can be healed, and all fear. Being honest and clear about what I really love, which is also what I really want, allows everything… I’m no longer confused – I see what’s real. And it’s so, so beautiful…

2) Amma is, and has always been, my teacher. She reveals everything to me, in time. It’s a flow…

3) Slow down. Slow down. Slow down.

4) Go beyond. When I get caught in the victim, in misery, in despair – simply go beyond. There is literally no value in wallowing there. Perhaps do some seva, do sadhana, do sports – it could be anything really. But dwelling doesn’t help, and it isn’t loving or valuable.’

It’s interesting to re-read these expressions and to see how differently things have played out back here at home than I thought they would at that time. It’s been way more challenging than I could have expected. The direct presence of a True Master is a precious thing. Back in ‘the world’ I find it harder to live out what I know. On one hand it is happening anyway, because it is the truth. But worldly life is far more messy and gritty than we bargain for when we are with the master. If we don’t follow through on what we know to be true though, on that deep discovery (or perhaps recovery is a better word), then the time on ‘retreat’ was essentially of little value. It is a high challenge to be what we really are in the world rather than in the ashram / monastery. It is not the path for everyone, yet it is my path, and I think for many of you also.

In case you don’t have these, here are the dates for Amma’s Europe Tour:-

http://www.amma-europe.org/ammas-tour.html

Enjoy your week 🙂

Love,

xDaisy

Aug 2

Outside of Mind

Hello 🙂

How are you?

I would like to share a poem I wrote this morning after sadhana, and inspired ever more by this deep practice (of the 1000 Names and the IAM technique from Amma).

What a violent thing

To bring mind in here!

To this sacred place,

This holy Silence.

 

Outside of mind

Lies all things,

And all non-things.

Your cascading lights

Cannot fool me anymore,

For I have found something

Here, exquisite.

 

In these long halls

Of Silence upon Silence,

I meet the innermost –

The maker –

The original Spark.

 

Yet She is so Silent…

So nothing,

And so everything.

 

No song-and-dance fanfare.

Simply Silence gazing,

Just gazing.

She sees it all –

Sips it all in,

And rests.

 

It is some miracle that this poem came out from me, considering that I am still in that heartbreak which I wrote to you about in February. Really it has been going on since January. The blood and the guts of this particular heartbreak are hellish. But I am ever grateful to my friends for their support, and similarly to Amma, Adyashanti, Vortex Healing and my healers. What to do? We are all in the same boat going down the stream, playing out our karma. Yet, paradoxically, this is happening right in the middle of an all-encompassing awakening embodiment evolution.

My friend Alexandra Stone was kind enough to interview me for her website, please have a look:-

http://www.alexandrastone.studio/blog/

And finally, I want to thank those of you who have been giving me such rich and powerful feedback on the sessions. When you are self-employed, the only way you really know you are doing a good job is when clients or teachers tell you so. My heartfelt thanks for bringing smiles and tears of joy to me 🙂

I have a couple of spaces left in London Sat & Sun. Also, let me know if Wed – Fri might suit you (as that is possibly when I will next be in London). In the meantime, please contact me for distance healing.

Much Love and gratitude,

xDaisy

Jul 27

Sessions in London: Fri (tomorrow) – Mon

Hello 🙂

I am now living in Ditchling temporarily, in a beautiful healing home full of yoga, Vortex and of course Amma, with friends 🙂 It’s stunning here… I can’t get over how lucky I am to have space, time and fire for embodiment, sadhana, self-healing and all the other things I love in life.

This is a short reminder that I will be in London this Fri – Mon inclusive. The spaces I have left are on Sunday and Monday, so please message me on WhatsApp or FB to book (or call me there / Skype.) Phone reception is terrible here, so internet is best for now. Or feel free to book a distant session on any other day.

Amma’s visit to London has been arranged now, thanks to the hard work of volunteers. She will be with us Friday 17th and Saturday 18th November (that’s the Devi Bhava) at Sandown Park Race Course. I will update you with details as they come in (they are not yet on the site).

I hope to see you in Londinium 🙂

Love,

xDaisy

Jul 25

London Sessions: Fri – Mon inclusive

Hello 🙂

How are you? I am well; missing you all actually, and hoping that you are getting on well. I will be in London offering sessions from Fri – Mon inclusive, so please call or text if you would like one. Internet, and even my T Mobile network (essentially all virtual communication methods) are still poor here in Rodmell village. BT are slowly fixing the problem. Hence why I cannot write as much to you as I would like, nor answer you as promptly as I would prefer. However, when it comes to distance sessions, everything works. Make of that what you will 🙂

I want to share the most beautiful passage from Adyashanti. We read it out loud in our Adyashanti group and it drew tears. I really haven’t ever met another person who can communicate through words what it is truly like to wake up and embody that awakening, in such an open, accurate and rich way. I suggest reading this very slowly:-

       “This inner revolution is the awakening of an intelligence not born of the mind but of an inner silence of mind, which alone has the ability to uproot all of the old structures of one’s consciousness. Unless these structures are uprooted, there will be no creative thought, action, or response. Unless there is an inner revolution, nothing new and fresh can flower. Only the old, the repetitious, the conditioned, will flower in the absence of this revolution. But our potential lies beyond the known, beyond the structures of the past, beyond anything that humanity has established. Our potential is something that can flower only when we are no longer caught within the influence and limitations of the known. Beyond the realm of the mind, beyond the limitations of humanity’s conditioned consciousness, lies that which can be called the sacred. And it is from the sacred that a new and fluid consciousness is born that wipes away the old and brings to life the flowering of a living and undivided expression of being. Such an expression is neither personal nor impersonal, neither spiritual nor worldly, but rather the flow and flowering of existence beyond all notions of self.

         So let us understand that Reality transcends all of our notions about Reality. Reality is neither Christian, Hindu, Jewish, Advaita Vedanta, nor Buddhist. It is neither dualistic nor non-dualistic, neither spiritual nor nonspiritual. We should come to know that there is more Reality and sacredness in a blade of grass than in all of our thoughts and ideas about Reality. When we perceive from an undivided consciousness, we will find the sacred in every expression of life. We will find it in our teacup, in the fall breeze, in the brushing of our teeth, in each and every moment of living and dying. Therefore we must leave the entire collection of conditioned thought behind and let ourselves be led by the inner thread of silence and intuitive awareness, beyond where all paths end, to that place of sacredness where we go innocently or not at all, not once but continually.

         One must be willing to stand alone – in the unknown, with no reference to the known or the past or any of one’s conditioning. One must stand where no one has stood before in complete nakedness, innocence, and humility. One must stand in that dark light, in that groundless embrace, unwavering and true to the Reality beyond all self, not just for a moment but forever without end; for then that which is sacred, undivided, and whole is born within consciousness and begins to express itself. That expression is the salvation of the whole. It is the activity of an inward revolution brought down into time and space.”

~ Adyashanti, The Way of Liberation, pg 37

I will leave you to digest that. I would love your comments, if you have some.

Much Love,

xDaisy

Jul 6

Walking in the Footprints of the Divine

Hello 🙂

How are you?

I am well, and thoroughly enjoying life in Rodmell. I was reflecting the other day that life here, each step, is like walking in the footprints of the Divine. When I do sadhana, when I walk on the South Downs, when I see my friends…there’s this sense of the One in a very potent way. It actually feels a bit like being high all the time, no matter what is going on inside or outside. I think it must be the way that nature reflects ones own Divinity continuously, right into the bones of the body. Feeling happy, content and easy becomes normal. In a more specific example: whereas normally I see with my eyes closed (as with sessions), when I do the 1000 Names or the IAM in my bedroom, I see with my eyes open: there are bright white lines of energy everywhere – the natural energy of creation.

I had an insight during a session this week, which may help to illuminate how and why Vortex Healing works – a question many of you have asked me. As I was channelling into someone, all of a sudden I perceived that the energy was literally saturated with timeless presence…to the point that it even was that presence, and as I tracked it I could see that this was infusing the conditioned pattern within this person. Then it was that very ’embrace’ itself which dissolved the conditioning. At the time, there were no thoughts or reflections, only a sense of total oneness. But afterwards I began to reflect that (presumably) the reason for this kind of saturation process is that the energies we use in Vortex arise directly from Divinity; I don’t see how anything else could have that depth of effect on patterning. Another way to look at it is that presence takes conditioning out of time. The only way the conditioning seems real is because it is time-based – it is history, it is not presently occurring. So when that aspect of time is released by the presence-suffused energy, then the conditioning has no option but to collapse back into the timeless – into eternity – i.e., absolute presence.

I would also like to share my experience with Mother Meera on Tuesday morning. Did any of you get to see her? I know some of you have written to me about it. Others of you, please do write with your experiences as I’m always interested to read them. Every time I see this being it is very different to the last. What I experienced this time was more in the touch than in the eye gazing itself – i.e., the part where you kneel in front of Mother Meera and she touches your head. When this happened, what I felt was everything within and in my external life align into a single point. Suddenly everything was fulfilled and made sense, but without the mind being involved at all. I suppose that’s one reason why I still go to her: to re-perceive what is taking place through my bodymind as Divinity all the time, yet often going unnoticed. It is without destination or reason, yet it is the only thing that’s truly real.

I am planning to write to you about my sacred time with Amma, but it is still percolating. I would like to highlight one thing, though, which she kept on repeating: her request is that we all plant trees, and especially encourage children to do so. This is in order to preserve nature.

Next week I will be in London giving sessions on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. Please message or call me (preferably) if you would like one. Distance sessions are available sooner than that of course.

See you soon I hope,

Love,

xDaisy

Jul 1

Sessions still open in London until Tuesday

Hello 🙂

How are you? I am well, enjoying the flow of life. I am feeling particularly grateful for the shifts that have come with that deep 3 week immersion into Amma’s presence.

I wanted to let you know that I still have some spaces available on Sun afternoon, Mon morning and Tues afternoon in London (house visits). Do make the most of this, since I am not always able to come to London these days. And anyway – I am dying to see you and hear about your developments! Distance sessions are always on offer the rest of the time. Get those countryside vibes via Skype 🙂

Love,

xDaisy

May 22

London this week: Wed and Fri

Hello 🙂

How are you?

I am very happy here in Lewes. Yes, I have moved for the 4th time (temporarily) in 6 weeks. It’s such an adventure! Not that that was my intention, and of course there have been times of intense challenge. Yet now I feel the wonder and the grace of it all, and the felt sense of Divine Will in it is profound, really profound.

The slight issue I have at the moment is time – I am running out of it before I go to America. Already, most session times are booked this week. I may be able to squeeze in a couple more on Wednesday at Leila’s or on Friday making home visits. Other than that, distance healing is available, though again, this is limited due to current demand. However, I am only away for 3 weeks. As a reminder, that is from 30th May – 21st June.

I would like to share the following passage from Adyashanti’s book ‘Resurrecting Jesus: Embodying the Spirit of a Revolutionary Mystic’, which brought me to tears of inner implosion right there in the launderette.

“This is all about an internal journey, about your capacity to recognise divinity whenever and wherever you encounter it. It requires a certain sort of humility that allows you to peer beyond the world of appearances and touch upon that spark of the timeless radiance. Whether you understand it or can do anything with it doesn’t matter in the slightest; all that matters is your capacity to recognise that spark when you see it and to open yourself in humility to its redeeming Grace. This is the magic of Jesus’ life. This is the miracle that surpasses all the other miracles – the ability that Jesus has to mirror back divinity for those who are in his presence. This miracle is far superior to being able to walk on water or turn water into wine. It is the miracle of redemption, which awakens people to their own true nature.”  ~ Adyashanti

Love,

xDaisy

Apr 28

Bank Holiday Deal on Monday! Plus Wed, Fri and Sat in London

Hello 🙂

How are you?

I am well and happy 🙂 I am also facing some very strong challenges indeed in my housing situation here in Brighton. I want to share them, yet feel it is inappropriate to do so, certainly at this stage. But suffice to say that when the spiritual rubber really hits the road in human life, I am left feeling so glad and grateful that I have led the examined (rather than the unexamined) life, not least for all the tools this has given me to face such situations. In particular, Amma’s presence and Grace in my life is proving no less than a Godsend at the moment.

As a result of all this, I have only just fully woken up to the fact that it is Bank Holiday this Monday. The offer is on, of special half-price £45 sessions (via Skype) 🙂 So please call / text / email me if you would like to take advantage of this.

I will also be in the Barbican on Wednesday and doing home visits in London on part of Friday and part of Saturday. The rest of the time distance healing is available via Skype 🙂

Wishing you well,

Much Love,

xDaisy

Apr 22

Contemplation in the Sun

Hello 🙂

How are you?

First of all, I want to let you know that I will be in London on Wednesday this week in the Barbican. I need the rest of the week to sort out my housing situation in Brighton, which needs turning around within literally 7 days. Skype sessions are available though, of course.

I had one of those moments today, where I was between work (equine assisted therapy and a little job I do for a friend in London) and I stepped out into the sun in the garden where I was. I was immediately struck by the ordinary beauty of things. Simply the other buildings, the music from a party somewhere in the background, and the sky. Finally I could stop for a while, and I did. My mind began to chatter and then to fade, melting into my heart as often it does. It felt so good to feel, to be barefoot on the ground and to be able to loaf for an hour, with nothing to do! I felt so free… Silence pervaded completely. Eventually a thought came: What if I spent the rest of my life just being free? Something opened wider within, in this contemplation. I mean, what if any of us simply chose inner freedom, true peace, right now – and for every ‘now’ forever? I am well aware that this makes no sense in a way! But can you feel into what I’m saying? In other words, what if you, reading this right now, never ever left whatever realisation you have had about the true nature of what you are?

The next thought that came was, What would that take? I saw that it would require a willingness to relinquish all future plans. I also saw I would need to never leave what I know and to never believe or follow through on another thought / piece of negativity. It was humbling…to say the least.

Anyway, I wanted to share this exploration with you now, in hindsight, to see if you resonate with it or have perhaps had a similar kind of insight too? 🙂 Please do write with your comments on this.

Love,

xDaisy

Apr 19

London this week: today, Friday and Saturday

Hello,

How are you? A short note to say that for London sessions, today and Sat are now full this week. But there are a couple of spaces left on Friday. Distance sessions are always available of course, via Skype.

I also wanted to share this video with you. I never tire of Amma’s Swami Dayamrita. In particular it is his integrity, authenticity and humility which really touch me. They are rare qualities in people I have found. Let me know your feelings on this interview. Mine are very passionate!

SOULJOURNS – SWAMI DAYAMRITA, AMMA’S SENIOR DISCIPLE

SOULJOURNS – SWAMI DAYAMRITA, AMMA’S SENIOR DISCIPLE

Welcome to Souljourns and to the amazing story of a former atheist, a well educated man who came to know of Amma…

Much Love,

xDaisy

Apr 11

Easter Deal: Half Price on Friday & Monday :-)

Hello 🙂

I’m sorry about the short notice of this offer. I only just realised today that it is Easter this weekend. Therefore Good Friday and Easter Monday sessions are half price, £45, and will be done on Skype / phone only. This also applies to pre-booked sessions on those days.

I have a couple of spaces left this Thursday in London, so please let me know if you would like one.

Anyway, how are you?

I must say that I’m enjoying Brighton massively. The things I love the most are the sea, the beach, the South Downs and the people. They seem interested in celebrating life. There is perhaps more emphasis on sangha, friends, family, creativity, seva and sadhana. Then work is done to support lifestyle, rather than the other way round. I wish you were all here! In this sunshine, it is truly idyllic 🙂

Much Love,

xDaisy

Mar 2

Self No Other

Hello,

How are you? I have had to wittle this group down due to technicalities with Yahoo, so I hope no one I’ve knocked off feels left out. I am thinking of you all with a warm and surrendered heart and wondering where life is taking you… Please do write with your stories – they are always welcome 🙂

Thank you to those of you who responded to my last email; I feel your warmth and compassion. I know some of you have been concerned and wondering how I am, so I thought I’d fill you in a little and update you on this process, hopefully in a way that speaks to you and your process too. What I am going through in its deepest essence at the moment is heartbreak. I’m sure many of you have been through this too. So unexpected and so very deep, yet at least I know I have loved fully. I have heard some people say to me that they have never been in love before, even people who are quite a lot older than I am, and (perhaps) that is saddest of all.

The process has been that through fully embracing this heartbreak, as much as I am able in my fragile humanness, there is a continuing kind of breakdown breakthrough and entering into Divinity. I want to credit here my sadhana practice, Amma, Adyashanti and Vortex Healing and the engagement in these. There was also a sudden breakthrough during a group healing I was lucky enough to be part of – many thanks Chetana and Will Thornton. I was amazed at the turnaround and transformation after receiving this healing – almost like night and day – and the subsequent sense of completely withdrawing into the Self. Here is what I wrote about it in an email afterwards:-

“I just want to share that something has completely left me since this healing. Now I feel as if there is only the Self itself, and that’s all. It’s like nothingness, but not that empty feeling of emotional vacuum at all. It’s devoid of noise, there is only Silence. Grounded in Self now.”

In my diary I reflected further:-

“So this is it. It was always here. Right here… No wonder no one could give it to me. What this is could never be bought nor sold. ‘The peace which surpasses all understanding’, now I know You. Now I know You… You are this – are me. It’s not outside, it never was outside.”

When I arose the following morning, I knew I had to move home to Brighton. It’s funny because I have just remembered in writing this, that Eckhart Tolle once said one day he simply knew he had to move to North America. Moving as Self, it’s not a question of working things out. It’s letting go without end.

I will be coming to London every week to see you for sessions, so please don’t worry about that. I expect I will move around the beginning of April. Please do not hesitate to email or call me if you have any questions about this.

With Love in my heart,

xDaisy

Jan 24

Dharma Love

Hello,

How are you? I am well, feeling fully in the love-stream-flow today.

I have been reflecting recently on what really heals people the most. I have to say it is Love. Sounds obvious, but let me be more specific. When asked what practices we should do when we are not with her, Amma said only one word: “Sangha”. This means community, gathering together in and as what we truly value. In addition to a satsang setting, such as the wonderful Villa Devi offering, this quality of life happens naturally within dharmic friendship. It’s a phrase Adyashanti uses to describe the kind of friendship between two people on an awakening path. Touching this kind of friendship is incredibly transformative… You bounce off one another in your deepest places, encouraging each other to grow and face life with laughter and passion and warmth. Without any effort at all, the world seems to widen and disappear as the oneness you both are when you are together.

So I really encourage this. Yes, have healings, yes, do sadhana (spiritual practices), but often overlooked as an intense spiritual practice is – Call your true friend, get together, open your hearts to one another. No healing can truly take place without this kind of love and depth and intimacy.

The other thing which has been on my mind to share with you, is the way in which shifts move in most people, and the sometimes resulting confusion of this. Let’s say you have a shift or an awakening. Really the description doesn’t matter because when something like this happens to you, it is beyond doubt and needs no external affirmation. Perhaps for a while, there is a deep and overriding felt sense of oneness, Truth, Divinity. And then, it may feel like this goes away. This is the point at which it is very easy for cynicism, doubt or confusion to take control. You may even tell yourself that nothing really happened. In actual fact, often what did happen was a permanent shift: what was there before, never actually returned. Yet the sense of this can feel distant.

In my perception and experience, what has normally happened is that the sense of oneness / transformation has become ‘normal’ – it’s integrated into the background, into the body. But it can feel like you’re back to square one and that you’ve ‘lost it’. The tendency, then, is to give up too easily, listening to cynicism, fear or doubt. The thing at this point, is to keep going, with an attitude of open receptivity. The reality of living awakening / Truth / Love / oneness / transformation / healing is that most people are not going to have an awakening / liberation / enlightenment along the lines of Amma, Ramana Maharshi, Adyashanti, Eckhart Tolle or Tony Parsons. Even though these beings are here inspiring us and showing the way in an absolutely crucial sense, I think it is misleading to believe that ‘my path’ will be the same as theirs. And this belief leads to a great deal of misunderstanding.

Your experience is your experience, and no teaching can get you out of it, no teaching can change what you are going to have to go through to satisfy that yearning for awakening / Divinity / transformation inside you. For most people, awakening embodiment evolution is a life-long thing. It’s really like that. It’s not something with a ‘final ending’, and it’s not something which happens in a flash and stays feeling like that forever. It simply doesn’t work like that, except for a tiny minority of people. And that minority is highly unlikely to be you. Awakening is a blood and guts thing and you have to get your hands dirty. So quit spiritually bypassing, throw yourself into the arms of Divinity, of the private Silence within you, of your friends and of your suffering. I say this equally to myself as I do to you!

Finally, here is a piece of writing I did on a Day Retreat with Chetana and Will in the Sussex countryside. I hope you enjoy it:-

Divinity Intended

I cannot speak…for talking this out is nothing at all anymore. This Silence bears witness to all of that and is also all of that. No need for words anymore. My silent spoken friend, awareness, finally stayed after his tea was drunk.

I saw what is true for me and accepted the somehow burden of it. This being done, You came in again. Then, the deeper revelation – the surrender……. No holding back this time. You showed me all, You revealed Yourself in the night, in the day, in the detail – all at once. That timeless moment – Now. All my burdens are laid down in You. All my heavy weighty blindness and my deafness to Your song is gone. Now I see it all. The game that I played – You knew my every move. You were always bathing it in that Light, yet only now can I see this.

What needs to happen, needs to happen. Yes, this is true. But what I failed to understand was the pitch perfect way this is all going. The sheerness of a thousand songs called out in Your name. It must be as it is and as it will be. You are the One, I am That. I found You again, and in the finding, I am no longer me. No longer isolated from You, my beautiful Muse, my all, my everything. I didn’t know that this way is the way. This precise way which you are unfolding… Divinity Intended. Not outside anymore, not happening to a me. Divinity Intended. A button unbuttoned and a comb combed. The jeans and the hair of Existence.

What has to happen…it’s unfolding, opening – at Its pace alone. Only Your rhythm exists. You lovemaker… It’s all happening now, and now, and now. There is no other; no other at all. This is Your game, and I feel no distance from You anymore. Somehow, I have not transferred this, not managed to translate this – the incredible depth of what is here.

Love,

xDaisy

Jan 3

Festive Season Gift: FREE Clinic Tomorrow

Hello 🙂

How are you?

As a New Year and Christmas gift to you, I am offering a FREE clinic at the venue in Barbican tomorrow, on a first come first served basis. This also applies to distance sessions tomorrow. As far as I can remember, this is the first time I have offered you this, so please do make use of it if you can.

I wish I had more time to write, but I don’t right now and didn’t have over the holiday season. Soon though – and hopefully see you tomorrow 🙂

Happy New Year 🙂 🙂 🙂

Love,

xDaisy

Dec 9

Videos

Hello 🙂

How are you? Friends have been sending me videos to watch on YouTube recently and I thought I would share them with you too. So moving to watch, and relax and be connected 🙂

Here is one with Ric Weinman giving a talk in Watkins spiritual bookshop in London:-

Vortex Healing and Merlin by Ric Weinman

This is amazing, and I won’t spoil it for you!:-

Inside the Superhuman World of the Iceman

Inside the Superhuman World of the Iceman

Wim Hof first caught the attention of scientists when he proved he was able to use meditation to stay submerged …

Here is one of my absolute favourite guides, smashing through taboos and pointing to freedom through the physical:-

Awakened lovemaking – Marlies Cocheret

Awakened lovemaking – Marlies Cocheret

With love, directness, and humor, Marlies invites our spirituality down from the clouds right into this human bo…

And here are Adyashanti and Francis Bennett discussing the book I am currently reading, ‘Resurrecting Jesus’. Our local vicar wants a copy of the book, having spoken with me,  and I am going to give it to him. That was a good moment 🙂

Adyashanti & Francis Bennett on “Resurrecting Jesus” – Buddha at the Gas Pump Interview

Adyashanti & Francis Bennett on “Resurrecting Jesus” – Buddha…

Also see http://batgap.com/adyashanti-francis-bennett-resurrecting-jesus/ Adyashanti, author of The Way of Liber…

So, enjoy 🙂

Love,

Daisy

Dec 4

All The Way Through

Hello 🙂

How are you? As some of you know, I am recovering from what has turned out to be kidney stones. I am back and available from tomorrow. I can’t believe how long it has been since I have written properly. I have been thinking of you and feeling you in my heart.

At the moment, I am going through something which has really changed my life and I need to share it with you briefly. One of my closest friends has been diagnosed with ovarian cancer, which could also have spread. I only found out very recently and I am still in some shock. This situation is like a bomb which has gone off in my life, and things will be different for me for some time, in various different ways. I can’t say much else on this, because I am still digesting it. My friend is my age, so it is unusual. Though from a Vortex point of view it becomes easier to understand. To recap on that, 95% of cancer is caused by suppressed grief fed by resentment. It is not the grief / loss that is the problem, but the suppression of that, which can kill. So please, do take note, and may this be an inspiration for you to persevere with your inner work.

I wanted to write to you about Amma and my experiences on Europe tour, but that feels wrong tonight. All I want to add is, please don’t stay away. Work is helping me and I look forward to seeing you very soon.

Here is a song which is healing me a lot at this time. It is by my friend Will (Chidanand) and I thought you might enjoy it too. What I like is that you can actually feel the real devotion, which I find unusual on the spiritual music scene:-

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OtECoyQTL8o

Love and best wishes to you all,

xDaisy

Sep 24

Underneath All Currents

Hello 🙂

How are you? I feel relieved that Equinox was on Wednesday (they say ‘living in a world of plenty’) and that Mercury retrograde ended on Thursday. Seeing Bjork live at the Royal Albert Hall in conjunction with these events was pure magic 🙂 I also noticed how incredibly deep the satsang went on Thursday evening at Villa Devi, which other people in the group also reported. As a reminder, we chant (amongst other things) the 108 Names the 1000 Names of the Divine Mother (Archana), sing bhajans and meditate – inspired by Amma.

I have been into Bjork’s musical genius since the age of 13, and have now seen her live 5 times over a period of 21 years. Yes – I used to be obsessed! I had a moment before I walked into the auditorium this time, which I wanted to share with you. I was in the loo putting on my lipgloss. Suddenly I felt this Silence deepen and come in through my body from the left, like a liquid. As I looked at myself in the mirror, I realised something which in words would be, “I know who I am now”. I could feel the qualitative difference from when I used to come and see Bjork – now the tangible quality of Beingness, you could say, was here and was seen as what I actually am. The freedom felt immense; the freedom of not-knowing yet knowing, I guess you could call it Realising – I am This, this Silence. And I want to specify, it isn’t knowing who I am the way people usually say that – “She knows who she is” – about someone with charisma or power, for example. Not that. And it isn’t knowing as such, in the way we normally mean that. It is genuinely perceiving my own nature and the nature of all things and beings. Without filtration, without ‘winning’, without ‘losing’, without anything… There is such relief when you know that; a deep alleviation of that nagging separate feeling that dogs you before, which I see in so many people’s eyes. The point of sharing this, apart from simply sharing, is to use myself as an example of the fact that it is true that Silence is our nature and that one can certainly discover that in a genuine way, if one is interested in doing so.

I have been enjoying the sessions with you so much recently… They have taken on a different quality, an other-worldliness, as my sensing unfolds itself into your systems and as Grace makes its mysterious appearance often. I feel honoured that you would share all of your process with me – the laughter, the tears, the cosmic side, the dark side and all the sides of you. Thank you.

To finish I would like to share with you my favourite Bjork song. I have chosen a link without a video, to enhance the listening aspect, in the hope that the song will drop deeper into your ears. When I first discovered this song, I was about 14 and I fell in love with it. I experienced all kinds of deep emotions inside my room listening to it and often crying. Nowadays I perceive it as being a piece about Stillness. Whatever it is doesn’t really matter, it is a work of art in the truest sense: full, empty, meaningful and meaning-free.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=17yWeynOfOI

Love,

xDaisy

Sep 2

Homecoming

Hello 🙂

How are you? I hope you are engaging in your deepest intention, and that you are well. This weather in London, though greyer today, is a continuous joy to be in…

I want to write a little more about the effects of the silent meditation retreat with Adyashanti. As he says, a spiritual experience is only valuable inasmuch as it has a lasting effect on one’s everyday life. We’ll see about that in time… For now I can say that, since the retreat, something has changed. The Silence is here, in a new way. What also feels different is that my ‘questing’ energy, my chasing after Divinity, has come to an end. That energy was in me for nearly 20 years this year. I think I believed it was necessary to have that in order to find the Divine, but I now question whether that is true. It could be that my ‘questing’ actually masked Divinity from me. Either way, in the end I got far more, and also far less really, than I bargained for. Needless to say, my relationship with Amma, Vortex Healing and Adyashanti have transformed a great deal. That is ongoing and I can’t say much about it at the moment that would make sense. The funny thing is though, even my Mum has remarked on the change in me several times since this retreat. One time she said, “You know who you are now”. That raised a smile 🙂

What I can talk about is how my work with you has changed. My sessions now feel like I am resting and creating from Silence. Then I look to my sensing abilities and begin to see how the healing energy is naturally moving. It’s like painting with Light. One of you commented that, “You are like a conduit now. You don’t even need to channel.”

Adyashanti will not come back to Europe next year due to his health problems, but I highly recommend his retreats in America if you feel drawn:-

http://www.adyashanti.org/index.php?file=retreatsschedule

I would like to close with an excerpt from my diary on the retreat, which now feels almost predictive of the aforementioned stopping:-

“I found a snake by the side of the road today. It was dead. I told it I was sorry it had died, especially since it was so young – a baby, I think. It was charcoal grey on the underbelly and brown and radiant on top. It shone somehow, with brown, like one of those sandstone rings you can get. I wonder what kind of snake it is? I don’t remember seeing a snake in England before. The first three I saw were rattlesnakes, in Arizona, when I was eleven. The only other one I’ve seen was on the Ashram. That one was so beautiful: it was moving in that classic snake dance and it was bright green. Sort-of cascading along a sandy path. Come to think of it, they were all deeply significant times when I saw those snakes… I wonder what is happening here and what wonders are in store after this retreat? 🙂 This snake was so small and thin and beautiful. And it had a tiny, soft face. I saw the beauty in death.”

I look forward to seeing you soon,

Love,

xDaisy

Aug 24

Oceans

Hello,

I wanted to remind you that I am back in action now and that I will be offering distance sessions via Skype or phone on Monday Bank Holiday, half price: £45. This deal includes pre-booked sessions.

The retreat was sensational… Really something unexpectedly mind-blowing. What I want to say about Adyashanti is that he is possibly the only teacher or guide I know who refuses to take authority away from anyone, even in a subtle way. I have found this to be consistently true over the 14 years that I have known him. The effect of that, is actually immense. Greater than I could have imagined before doing this silent meditation retreat. I will write more as I go. For now, I would like to share with you a poem I wrote in the middle of the retreat (hence the title of this post). However, due to formatting issues here, I am unable to do so. Therefore please contact me on daisynokes22@yahoo.com to receive it.

See you soon,

Love,

Daisy

Aug 13

Silent Meditation Retreat with Adyashanti

Hello,

I must say I am thrilled to have the opportunity to deepen into this great, deep silence……….who knows what will happen in this great adventure into the unknown? The inner dive, swan dive, into mystery. I will be unavailable in communication – on a silent meditation retreat – from tomorrow until the 22nd Aug, when I will be back in action.

I want to share a few more learnings from the Ammathon (as a friend rightly called it!), which I hope will benefit you. During the program in Toronto, Amma said something which really struck me. She said, “Vasanas have no power of their own. It is we who give them power.” I realised in that moment, how powerless negativity really is. Her statement also cut through, in me, the tendency to become so familiar with something, that I begin to misuse it. What I mean is that I have talked about my ‘vasanas’ (latent negative tendencies) or issues or behaviour so many times, I can forget that it is I myself who permits them to have the power they have and who actually gives that power to them. I thought this could strike a chord for many of you as well. I would add that it is our tendency to identify with such internal arisings, which is the mechanism by which we give them the most power.

The most core life story I had, the one which had most coloured my experience of reality in this lifetime, came up during the last couple of days with Amma. We save the best for last, don’t we? For me, that was the love story – the agony and the ecstasy of romantic love, and underlying that, the nagging feeling that the right relationship would fulfil me and close any remaining ‘gap’. This probably sounds familiar to some of you, perhaps to many of you. I know – it’s a hard one to admit! I am not going to share the private details of that, sorry 😉 But please bear with me anyway. There is something more important than that part of the story. It began on the treadmill, of all places, not somewhere I frequently find myself. But going to the gym occasionally, during the tour, helped me get time by myself (which is almost completely impossible on staff) and helped me move energetics that were stuck. Suddenly on this treadmill, the desire to be free of that core story hit me, like never before. I simply HAD to be free of it; I could carry it all no more. So with this fire, I made a silent cry – a prayer – within, to Amma. With that, I let go, knowing that it could go either way: perhaps I would get free of this pattern, perhaps I would not – it was in the hands of Divinity now.

Shortly after this, Amma did a Q&A with the retreat group outside, in the unseasonably hot evening sun. There were only about 500 of us there. Right from the beginning, I felt a large amount of fear and anxiety coursing through my system, to the point where I could barely sit still. I didn’t know why I was feeling this way, it was like a body thing. I decided to focus more intensely on the question that was happening, and on Amma’s answer. As I looked at Amma, she made a certain movement as she talked with her hands, and with that I was gone. I felt as if I was merging into Amma from where I was – it was part-visual, part-kinesthetic (akin to the way I sense, during a session). As this happened, any remaining sense of separation fell away and I began to cry. In this oneness and tears and the whole un-conveyable experience, I suddenly knew that all my desire, lack and longing for this person – and all women and men who I had ever felt that towards – was really the longing for God. I simply knew it. Not as a concept and not as a philosophy, and not as an excuse. I actually saw it. I saw it in such a way, that it felt like I could never actually un-see it. I also sensed intuitively that all my other desires were also the longing for God. I felt freed at last…….truly, truly free.

(NB God in my perception is also Truth, wholeness, unity, oneness etc.) The next thoughts were, “Why have I been running after men and women all this time?” and “How could I have missed this reality all these years?” Then the strangest thing happened: I experienced depression for the first time in my life. As I sat, purposefully alone, eating dinner, I felt depressed. But there was absolutely no resistance to it. The sense of oneness was so broad and pervasive, that there was absolutely no problem with feeling depressed. In fact, I was pleased to be having the experience, because before that I never understood what depression was. I knew what pain was, deep gruelling emotional pain, but I didn’t know depression until that moment. I then experienced suicidal ideation! But again, there was no problem with this either, because there was zero resistance to it. And it existed in a context of oneness, of Love. After about an hour, both of these so-called negative experiences passed of their own accord, without me doing anything at all about them.

In hindsight, I believe they occurred because my ego had just lost its trump card, which was the core love story drama. With that gone, it seems like it had to play the depression and suicide cards to try to regain ‘control’ of my bodymind. But that didn’t work: these feelings and thoughts simply passed through, as I said. So then I was just there: story-less and One, feeling a sense of ordinariness and freedom. Nothing special, yet complete liberation.

I make my newsletters personal because I don’t believe I can help unless I talk from my own direct experience. I hope that by reading this something may have resonated or sparked for you.

See you soon, after the retreat,

Love,

xDaisy

Aug 9

2 Comments

Out of the Blue

Hello,

First off I want to tell you about an upcoming training in the IAM, Amma’s meditation technique, which came to her in a vision while she was taking a nighttime stroll around the ashram many years ago. I highly recommend it to anyone looking for a way to connect with Divinity, a fantastic meditation technique or simply a way to unwind, calm thinking down or relax the nervous system. Whatever intention you bring to it, will gradually manifest in your life. It is being held in Brighton / Lewes on the 17th / 18th September. The cost to cover room hire etc. is £35; please contact me if you are interested.

My next recommendation is the Foundational Vortex Healing course being held here in London, 19th – 23rd September with Anthony Gorman. It is hard to begin to explain what Vortex Healing has brought into my life so far because it is so broad and deep. I was thinking recently about why I practice Vortex Healing more than the other helping modalities I am trained in. I came to the simple conclusion that, in my personal and professional experience, it is more effective at deepening you into the core of what you are and releasing the roots of what you aren’t, than any other modality of help I have trained in or experienced first hand.

Now back to the Amma tour this summer 🙂 It was interesting to hear Amma explain in an aside during one of her talks in L.A., that the external aspect of Kali – the fierce appearance – is designed to bring out the dormant doubt in the devotee. I immediately thought of those of you who have felt that Amma has glared at you or ignored you etc. over the years. If she is indeed an embodiment of Kali (which I personally believe), then this might help you make sense of what she is doing there. From my perspective, no action Amma makes is unconscious, and Yes – she can bestow focus on many many people at once. Anyone who has experienced the ‘staring Darshan’ at the end of Devi Bhava will know about this. When she is ‘Kali with us’, perhaps Amma is indeed purposefully bringing out the poison of doubt in the process of life and Divinity. If this kind of insecurity exists within in a suppressed state – for example, as cynicism – it gives rise to all kinds of distortions and disorders in the experience of living, not to mention in the body. On a similar note, it is not uncommon for people to not want to be with Amma if they have strong issues with their own mother. It is easy to put your birth mother’s face over Amma’s face, subtly and subconsciously projecting onto her. If you had painful childhood experiences, you may then fear that she will hurt you in some way, get angry with you, punish you for something you did or ignore you etc. If this sounds like you, you may even find that when you approach her for Darshan, that you have negative thoughts towards Amma. All of that is part of the process of you healing from things which are sometimes unimaginably deep in your system. It will not hurt Amma in any way. In fact, she has been known to ask us to project anger and negativity onto her using the Amma dolls, in order to release in a harmless way. It is possible to see at some point, that the thoughts you have towards Amma are really thoughts you harbour towards yourself.

On a different note, Amma is really urging us all to plant trees if possible, adding the chilling words that, “when we cut down trees, remember we are building our own coffin.” She is also encouraging anyone who has outside space to plant a small vegetable garden and try to eat the produce from that. This means we will not go hungry when food runs short in the future and we will also avoid consuming the pesticides etc. on supermarket vegetables. Not to mention that we save money and get in touch with the earth at the same time 🙂

Now for a little story 🙂 I had a profound experience of Divine Intention during this tour with Amma. Having something like that really changes your life, because before that the idea that the Divine can reach into your life and move it in a certain direction is often just that – an idea, perhaps a hope, or a dream. Here is what happened to me. Out-of-the-blue, during Devi Bhava in Toronto (the final stop on the tour), my boss told my friend and I to go and sit with Amma on the stage. We were understandably astonished, because this lady is known for wanting people to work very hard. We jumped at the chance and made our way onto the stage. We stood beside the ‘bouncer’, an entertaining yet stern man who always wears a suit, and manages the part of the stage nearest to Amma on all the US tour programs. Again out-of-the-blue, he invited us to sit together directly next to Amma. Let me explain that this never happens! It was really out of character for him. We felt so lucky, and beamed at one another 🙂 As I watched her up-close, each movement Amma made as she gave Darshan would bridge me deeper into presence… Then, she suddenly turned and looked at both of us directly, smiling. It was amazing… That look will never leave me. It was a look of the purest knowing… It was so rich, so full… Both my friend and I reported the same things: it felt like Amma was communicating that she herself had brought us into this tour on staff, and that this exchange with her was a kind of ‘graduation’. We both felt this deep sense of Amma acknowledging all the seva we had done, and of the inner work we had done and also we felt this incredible depth of solidarity between us. We felt as if Amma had given each one to the other to help us complete the tour. Somehow I knew, intuitively, that I had just had a real life experience of Divine Intention. And in the wake of that, doubt vanished. I wish I could put this all into words better. But maybe it isn’t possible to do that. The mystery manifesting into creation, manifesting in all kinds of ways, every moment… You can see why the wise men (and women) say, better to sit as silence.

I hope you enjoyed this email and that you are getting plenty of sun 🙂

Love,

Daisy

Jul 25

Why Amma?

Hello,

How are you Londoners and people of the world? 🙂 I hope if you are in London that you are enjoying this heat wave we are lucky enough to be having 🙂

I want to address a question today which people often ask me, or ask me without words. Why Amma? Why do I do this? Why go and pay a handsome fee to work without pay, under conditions which some would consider harsh?

The answer is simple: it’s love. I look at Amma, and I love her. The depth of that love makes me want to support her work, serve Embracing the World (her global charity), and beyond that, to serve life in its entirety. For me, it’s passion; it’s not a ‘being good’ thing. It’s not even spiritual. Imagine being in love…now times it by 500…that’s nowhere near it. This is bhakti (devotion) in real terms.

Everyone has their own particular relationship with Amma, and certainly Amma devotees are all there for different reasons. Some of my friends, clients and family feel put off by the culty appearance of it all, by some of the devotees (who can be far from loving) and by the pretentious ‘holier than thou’ dynamics. Those of you who know me even a little bit, know I am definitely not the poster girl for holiness 🙂 No; it’s a love thing. Pure and simple.

So, what were the physical realities of being on volunteer tour staff, you may wonder. In my particular seva, we were working around 14 hours per day (every day) and longer on a Devi Bhava (the all-nighter). We got roughly 5 hours sleep per night, on the floor, sharing a room and bathroom with between 6 and 40 women. Then, after the long Devi Bhava, we would get on a coach and travel to the next city. Some of those journeys were over 22 hours long. When we arrived, we would sometimes get only a few hours sleep before set-up and work began. We delivered programs in 10 cities, over a 6-week period.

In between all this, I would squeeze my way onto the stage to spend time with Amma. Occasionally, Amma would call the staff to receive Darshan. I would like to share with you my diary entry about this:-

” 6/6/16

I don’t know how possible it is to put this into words…

Impossible.

*  *  *  *  *  *  *

But let me try.

Amma called us for Darshan in Seattle on Devi Bhava. As I entered the stage in the queue, I decided to make a prayer within. I said something like, ‘Amma, please assist me in focussing on the goal of this life: on realising God. Please help me to remain focussed even during this tour.’

As I laid my eyes upon her, hugging the person in front, tears welled up. I felt this love for her that was beyond anything I had ever experienced, and yet ordinarily human at the same time. I simply rejoiced within, at the sight of her. She moved my head around quite a bit before finally placing it on her heart, while she answered the questions of some devotees to her right. It always amazes me how one never feels left out in this scenario: Amma’s attention is deeply with each one of us simultaneously, which is testament to the sheer depth of oneness she is living. She then kissed my cheek and embraced me, chanting in my ear with a kind of vehemence in her voice, “My daughter! My daughter! My daughter!”, over and over again. I fell into total oneness…….. At the same time, the human being felt her as my teacher and as my mother – somewhere where those two are one and the same. And the experience of trust was overwhelming. As Amma finished the hug and handed me prasad, we drew back from one another and she looked deeply into my eyes. I cannot adequately express in words what I felt pass between us in that exchange: it was simply beyond the beyond. I then felt deep gratitude and expressed it somehow from oneness. Amma’s expression altered to one of such profound compassion….…something just too immense to convey. She embraced me again and then placed a chocolate in my mouth. That was the moment at which my searching gently stopped. My life’s search ceased in that moment. It was, perhaps, what many teachers have described as the end of seeking. Immediately after this I experienced true happiness: powerful, pure, authentic, unconditional happiness. I felt restored, redeemed – completely. There was total and utter wholeness. I’m not talking conceptually here, but actually. The real thing.

As I walked away, I collapsed on the stage in tears beside Amma. I was crying, and then I was sobbing; there was no way to do anything at all, and I couldn’t stop. But I was actually sobbing with happiness. My heart broke open under a force: that of revelation, unconditional happiness, union…Truth. Simultaneously, I experienced a spontaneous healing of my past, which came from nowhere. Dad’s death, the break-ups, the childhood trauma, the fear, isolation, despair, loss, loneliness, lack and doubt – all of these were consumed by something I cannot describe. I cried and cried, wiping my make-up from my face with my sleeve, only to cry uncontrollably again.

When the crying eventually stopped, I sat for a while. When I left the stage, I felt empty in the true sense of the word. Emptied of separation, of that heavy anxious burden. And the very subtle sense that something is missing, was gone. I could rest…finally, I could rest…… The feeling of resting and oneness were beautiful……profound. Paradoxically, there was an abundant feeling of vitality at the same time. But it was vitality without ownership. I realised that rest and vitality are the same thing. Eventually I went about the day, without saying a word about it to anyone.”

I hope you enjoy your day and that I get to see you soon 🙂

Love,

xDaisy

May 29

The End of the Film

Hello 🙂

How are you? I hope you are enjoying the Bank Holiday, and not working like my poor flatmate! I have decided to take tomorrow off in order to take proper care of myself before my move and big trip with Amma. My apologies to those of you who were waiting for this opportunity. There will be others once I get back (16th July). Obviously if you are in crisis, or even semi-crisis, do call me. I will be available until Friday, and then contactable sporadically by email while away.

I want to share with you a couple of interesting sessions which happened during the past week. I had the opportunity to work with someone who had not experienced healing before, which was an honour and a joy. She was naturally sensitive to Vortex and I felt the session went very deep, which was confirmed by what she said when she eventually came round. She said she was amazed to be able to “feel something so palpably that is simply energy”. This is something I forget nowadays because I am used to it: how incredible it is that simply channelling Vortex Healing can create this type of tangible effect on a person. She wrote to me the next day: “Thank you for such a magical experience. I felt so held and safe. Like I was truly blessed.”

I was also fortunate enough to do a session on a client who reminded me of me some years ago, which was a sweetness on a personal level 🙂 One of the things that was similar between us, was that she was crying and almost hyper-ventilating with a fear release during most of the session, yet she had the courage and the trust to keep going in anyway. That was me when I got into Vortex – every time I experienced the energy, I would react like this. I was able to see a good amount of detail about what the issue was for this person, and the childhood experiences that had concreted it. Afterwards, I was actually shocked by what she said and the way she said it. She exclaimed, “I was in so much pain! I’ve been in a serious car accident before and I wasn’t in as much pain as that.” Thankfully she had already intuited that this was a good thing in terms of her healing process. Bear in mind I was not using any bodywork, or therapy, in this session: my client’s response was purely due to the density of the underlying root conditioning breaking out from her.

It is sometimes hard for people to believe it could be true that even physical pain is not really rooted in the physical body. Perhaps it is simply too threatening for some to entertain the idea that the wild torrents of the inner landscape with which we are all in touch (to some degree or another), the subtle bodies and the unknown itself, could be the true origin of the suffering we experience on any and every level. But what would such a person conclude if they were actually watching the above session unfold..? It is an interesting question.

I had the pleasure of talking with two friends about awakening yesterday, one at lunchtime and one at nighttime. Lucky me! In the first conversation, my friend and I were talking about what it meant to us to ‘want awakening’ before it happened. For both of us, it wasn’t something that we knew really; it was something much more subtle than that. And yet this subtle unknown curious sense burned and resonated within each of us. And somehow, we both found ourselves waking up young and before almost everyone around us. We shared that awakening is not a game – there’s no game there, no map or gain – there’s no point to it basically. Even the word awakening is misleading in a way. We went on to say that, as human beings, we all do what we love: we are into what we are into, and that’s simply that. In reality, nothing ‘gets you there’ – gets you interested or engaged or involved or awake, if you are not already into it. It’s not a progressive thing – like a hobby, or a career, or a soulmate connection, or climbing the spiritual ladder. It’s nothing like that. It’s so simple…so simple, and so unfrilly.

In the other conversation, I was speaking to a friend and saying that once you have this insight, life is kind of over – and at such a young age. Lol! And yet, some part of the ego can still hold on all over again and think there is something still to get or gain. I said to him, “It’s like if I gave you a DVD and then told you what happens at the end. If you were sensible, you would put the DVD down and walk out of the room. There’s nothing in it for you now you know the ending. But I bet you would watch the film anyway, just for the drama leading up to it?” He laughed in agreement and added, “Yes. It’s like after you really experience what’s real, you know that all desires are really the desire for that. So they seem transparent – fake almost – and it’s pointless to try to fulfil them in a way. Because now you know the ending. Plus that end is here and now – it’s here already.”

I’ll leave you with that. If I don’t get the chance to say it again before I go, then thank you for being such wonderful clients 🙂 I will see you very soon – in July,

Love,

xDaisy

May 21

***The Fullness of the Moon***

Hello 🙂

As I reminded people on FB – don’t panic, it’s simply Full Moon today! The energies I could feel in the group consciousness during my IAM meditation this morning were intense: dense and sort-of conflicted. That’s when I remembered the moon. It really does have an effect. Actually, the more you dance your natural dance into what you are, the more sensitive you are to these things. And yet the less they actually pull you in. It’s interesting.

I also wanted to remind you of when I will be away. It’s less than 2 weeks now to my departure! It will fly by though, and I will be back with you before you know it 🙂 I will be on tour with Amma in America from the 3rd June – 16th July.

I was touched this week by a rather beautiful cat, who decided to help me during a healing session with a client. It was towards the end of the healing and I could feel a shift coming within my own solar plexus. Although this is often the manner in which my system senses (sees psychically), I was unsure whether it was my own conditioning or the client’s at that point. But I was guided to begin the catch up phase of the healing. As I placed my hands on the client, she convulsed several times in a release from her solar plexus. That answered my query 🙂 Then the cat jumped up and straight onto her solar plexus. He proceeded to do that ultra-cute thing cats do with their feet – padding them up and down on the client’s stomach, for quite some time. I was mesmerised by the cat’s energy and his care, and by the whole unfolding situation.

I would like to write more, but am wanting my bed after a deep Adyashanti transmission today via video (I am part of an Adya group here in London), followed by a profound healing session I just gave. I am feeling blessed to have this job and this life…

Sweet dreams,

Love,

xDaisy

May 12

Pilgrimage to Paradise

Hello sunshine lovers, energy enthusiasts and helpers of mankind,

My title refers to an old trance tune on Sourmash records, which was helpful in bringing me towards spirit in my teenage years. In a deeper way, I am referring to what I am about to do in June: I am very excited – and honoured – to have been given a staff position on Amma’s US tour! I will be volunteering in the clothing boutique. It’s funny because I was thinking of ways I might get into the feminine and embody that more, and then I got given this position 🙂 Feel free to ask me any questions you may have about what I will be doing or what the tour involves.

Are any of you going to be there, or thinking of going to a couple of stops? Here are the stops in full:-

Seattle, WA

June 4-5 Public Program

San Ramon, CA

June 7-9 Public Program

June 10-12 Retreat

June 12 Evening Public Program

Los Angeles, CA

June 14-16 Public Program

Santa Fe, NM

June 18-19 Public Program

June 20-22 Retreat

June 22 Evening Public Program

Dallas, TX

June 24-25 Public Program

Chicago, IL

June 27-29 Public Program

New York, NY

July 1-3 Public Program

Boston, MA

July 5-6 Public Program

Washington, DC

July 8-9 Public Program

Toronto, ON

July 11 Public Program

July 12-14 Retreat

July 14 Evening Public Program

I will be away from the 3rd June to the 16th July without internet or phone access, so please do get all your sessions in before then.

I have been re-doing the Art of Meditation with Adyashanti this week and wanted to share some of the wisdom with you. Adya discusses the fact that awakening is not just an initial moment in which the I falls away, but it is also an ongoing unfolding. And for that part, meditation is crucial. In this sense, he disagrees with non-dual teachings – and I think rightly so – which tend to discourage practice (albeit covertly). Even if it is not said outright, the implication in many non-dual teachings is that practice is not all that important. Yet I simply haven’t met anyone who is deeply embodied as their true nature who has not engaged deeply in ongoing practices. So from my point of view, I wholeheartedly agree with Adyashanti on this important and often perplexing point. Please do offer your experiences with this, as I would be interested in them.

Bye for now, and do call or contact me before the 3rd June,

Love,

xDaisy

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