Awareness from Nowhere
When I went into hospital on
Wednesday morning, I was hoping
not to have surgery on my ear.
Now, I could never wish I hadn’t had it.
Why?
First, let me explain the details.
The surgeon examined my ear drum
and said he believed I still needed
the surgery. The hole was not
small enough and would not
become small enough.
I would have to be put under
general anaesthetic, then
the surgeon would drill down my
ear canal to expose the ear drum.
He would then cut muscle
fascia from my temporal
muscle and attach it
over my perforated ear drum.
I sat with the information and followed
instinct. I said yes.
I was told to sit in the ‘TV room’
before the anaesthetic,
at the mercy of The Jeremy Kyle Show!
This went on for several hours.
What amazed me though, was that
a deep silence emerged
in consciousness,
despite all that external noise,
and certainly not excluding it.
I enjoyed talking to the nurses
and other patients, all of whom
were very interested in hearing
about healing. But there was one
thing which a nurse said to me
that struck me right down to the bone.
He said, “Do you want to know how
I deal with my job?”
I said yes. He replied, “I see
every person as either my sister, my
brother or my mother”.
**************
When I woke up from the anaesthetic,
I woke up in some other way too 🙂
In fact, it was the most profound
realisation of my life. That’s not to say
it was in any way glamorous:
it was completely ordinary.
It was also completely spontaneous.
The living experience was this bright, deep,
still awareness. In a way, it was a body thing.
The mind and thoughts continued,
but were experienced simply as
objects floating within that awareness.
When attention turned to ‘other’ people,
they were experienced as
being that same awareness too.
And that is how it still is now,
though somewhat more in the
background than in that first plunge.
I could go on, but will leave it at that for now!
I am in pain (yes, all that continues as usual),
but am back to work on Wednesday.
Lots of love and best wishes,
Daisy
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Daisy Nokes 